Fugmentia Is Gripping America

When Mr. Aging Disco Diva casually mentioned yesterday "Your governor from NY was having an affair" I gave him the look you give your grandpa who sits in his underwear and watches the washing machine and puts his dirty clothes inside the TV.... the loving look that says "You are nuttier than a nut bar--if you were rich you'd be eccentric, but we are poor--- so you are just odd"

Mr. A.D.D. shot back with 'Not the old governor---the brand new one, the less-than-a-day-in-office governor"

No F'n way....but alas:

David Paterson diddled and dallied

Within hours of being sworn in, New York's new Governor admitted to an extramarital affair - and so did his wife.

The revelations stunned New Yorkers still reeling from the resignation of Eliot Spitzer last week after he was secretly recorded by the FBI arranging a tryst with a $1,000 an hour call girl.

David Paterson, who took the oath of office on Monday as New York's first black Governor and the first legally blind governor in US history, said he spoke out because “I did not want to be compromised. I did not want to be blackmailed”.

Mr Paterson said he sometimes stayed with a lover at a Days Inn hotel on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, only a short subway journey from his office in his Harlem constituency when he was state senator.

But come on.... honestly....what is the first thing that came to mind when looking at these two men? Yes, you guessed it--- FUGLY, with a capital "F" I just don't get it. We are not talking Old-guy-I-would-do-in-a-heartbeat kind of men.....like say George Clooney, Harrison Ford, Morgan Freeman, Richard Gere, Denzel Washington or Ricardo Montalban (he can caress my rich Corinthian Leather any day) Ricardo was 62 years old when he looked like this:

The Diva still gets all hot and bothered whenever she sees a 1975 Chrysler Cordoba.

No, we are talking about men who were probably ugly when they were young and their further fugliness developed with time.....

Women who let these fugs play "Adulterous Dangling Chads" with them always say "But their political/business/whatever power is an aphrodisiac---it makes them sexy!" No f'n way...there just is not enough power in the whole universe to make Fuglies suddenly become "right sexy wee basstards" OMG.... are the f'n women of the United States so desperate for a taste of fame and/or power that they will shag any fugly with a title?

I guess "moral fiber" is not a prerequisite for the governorship:

And for those of you who got my obscure "moral fiber" movie reference, I am sure you will agree that what New York needs is Pappy O'Daniel and his braintrust:

"Moral fiber? I invented moral fiber! Pappy O'Daniel was displaying rectitude and high-mindedness when that egghead you work for was still messing his drawers!"

Technorati Tags: David Paterson, eliot spitzer, ricardo montalban, o brother where art tho?, Pappy O'Daniel, 1975 chrysler cordoba

The Ex Macca Found Her Pot O' Gold

Breaking Gossip News

It turned out to be one expensive mid life crisis mistake for Sir Paul.......

The Dread Pirate Heather is doing a little jig of joy this Saint Patrick's Day

Her cootchie found the pot of gold: 48.7 million dollars for 4 years of hard work establishing herself as the most loathed woman on several continents.

Allegations had surfaced that Heather had ample practice using her nether regions as an ATM...well, practice must have made perfect.

The Succubus Bint Hits Paydirt

A British judge has awarded Heather Mills a total of $48.6 million in the financial settlement of her divorce from former Beatle Paul McCartney.

A document released by the Family Court says the judge awarded Mills a lump sum of $33 million plus assets she currently holds worth $15.6 million.

"I'm so, so happy with this," Mills told reporters following the closed hearing.

the figure was twice what Sir Paul had offered, but only about a third of what Mills wanted.

Mills had sought almost $250 million, while McCartney had said she should receive $31.6 million, including her own assets, which the court assessed at $15.6 million.

Fer cryin' out loud....next time the urge hits you Paul do yourself and your wallet a big favor--- ring up Eliot Spitzer and ask him for the 1-800 number of the Emperors Club...they have branches in the UK:

It will end up costing you a whole lot less for some afternoon delight...and you might get a ho with a semi-pleasant disposition this time around.



Technorati Tags: Paul McCartney, Heather Mills, divorce settlement, 48.7 million dollars, eliot spitzer, emperors club

Ho No, or Whatta a Little Spitzer!

This morning the Aging Disco Diva found herself in the midst of a crisis---I plunged my coffee scoop into the canister and came up with air. A look inside revealed a horror that rivaled anything Tobe Hooper could put on film---a few lousy coffee granules, not even enough for an espresso snort.

Wobbling and weaving under the effects of extreme caffeine withdrawal I managed to crawl into the exploding Pinto. Scraping dried, weeks old latte debris from the bottom of a discarded Styrofoam cup I found in the back seat and licking them off of my trembling fingers gave me the strength to drive the half mile or so to our local "Pay More and Buy Less" supermarket. I made a bee line to the coffee isle and dumped a scoop of industrial strength coffee beans into the grinder, placed my open mouth underneath the hopper and pushed the button.

Within seconds the twitching stopped and the fog began to lift. I placed twenty bags of coffee beans (enough to last the week) into the cart and headed to the check out.

While waiting in line I heard the most amusing conversation between two very old ladies with blue hair:

Blue hair #1: "I was getting so damn sick of all the Obama and Clinton news, I am glad that there is something else for the TV people to talk about"

Blue hair #2: " Well, I tell you what---he sure paid to play didn't he?"

Blue hair #1: "Can you believe how much money those people in New York pay for prostitutes?"

Blue hair #2: "I think those were Washington prostitutes, not New York prostitutes"

Blue hair #1: "Same difference...New York, Washington....they were talking about thousands of dollars for an hour....these were not ten dollar hookers that is for sure!"

Blue hair #2: "Dearie, ten dollar hookers were back in the Kennedy administration.... damn inflation"

Blue hair #1:"Well, that's true.... and you know it costs a lot more to live in New York than here, so paying that much for a prostitute makes sense"

I am not sure what was more surreal: Two little old ladies who could not have been a day younger than 80 loudly tossing the words "prostitutes" and "hookers" around like a bingo chips, or the notion that a couple of octogenarians would be casually debating the cost of living factors of being a whore in New York.

Writing a memorable or witty newspaper headline is an art and New York City newspaper editors have come up with some doozies over the years:

This one became the stuff of legends:

Today's New York Post front page made me laugh out loud:

Jon Stewart is a hoot, you just knew his take on it would be delicious:

Wildcat News

Michael Beeeeeeeeeasley

Freshman forward Michael Beasley became the second consecutive standout freshman to win both Big 12 Player and Freshman of the Year accolades on Monday, as his selection highlighted the 2007-08 Phillips 66 All-Big 12 Men’s Basketball Awards.

Beasley becomes the fourth player in school history to be honored as the league’s Player of the Year and the first since the inception of the Big 12. He joins Lon Kruger (1973 and 1974), Mike Evans (1977 and 1978) and Rolando Blackman (1980) as Wildcats to be named to conference Player of the Year. He is the first player to earn the distinction of league Freshman of the Year and the 12th overall to be selected as either Freshman or Newcomer of the Year since 1970. Six freshmen (Bob Zender – 1970; Steve Mitchell – 1971; Lon Kruger – 1972; Mike Evans – 1975; Curtis Redding – 1977 and Ed Nealy – 1979) in school history have been named Newcomer of the Year.

In addition, Beasley was one of two players (Texas’ D.J. Augustin) to be selected unanimously to the All-Big 12 First Team. He is not only the school’s first unanimous first team honoree in the Big 12 era, but also the inaugural first team selection since the league’s inception. He is the first player since Steve Henson in 1989 to garner first team accolades from the league coaches. Beasley was joined on the all-conference team by teammate Bill Walker, who was selected to third team. The duo was also named to the All-Rookie Team by the coaches with Beasley being a unanimous pick.

Beasley was named the Big 12 Player and Freshman of the Year by The Associated Press, Kansas City Star and Rivals.com as well as to the all-conference first team by all three organizations. Walker was selected to the Star’s All-Big 12 second team, to the AP's third team and to Rivals.com’s Big 12 All-Freshman team.

The former No. 1 high school recruit continues to make his case for National Player of the Year honors, as Beasley is averaging 26.5 points on 53.7 percent shooting (282-of-525), including 39.5 percent from 3-point range, with 12.5 rebounds, 1.7 blocks, 1.3 steals and 1.2 assists in 31.3 minutes per game this season. As of Friday, he ranked among the top-5 in the nation in both scoring (third) and rebounding (first). He has recorded a double-double in 26 of 30 games and has totaled 23 games of 20 or more points. He leads the nation in double-doubles (26), 40-point games (three), 30-point games (13), 20-point, 10-rebound games (21) and 30-point, 10-rebound games (13).

Beasley already holds 27 Kansas State career, single-season and freshman records as well as 13 Big 12 single-game and single-season marks. With his 33-point, 14-rebound effort against Colorado on on March 4, he eclipsed Mitch Richmond’s (768; 1987-88) school single-season points record, while he broke the Big 12 record for double-doubles in a season with his 26th on the year. He is just the 27th player in NCAA Division I history to post 26 or more double-doubles in a season and the first since Utah’s Andrew Bogut (26) did it in 2004-05.

Kstatesports.com

Women's Basketball Team Earns Honors

Kansas State head coach Deb Patterson was named 2007-08 Big 12 Coach of the Year and three players were named to the All-Big 12 first and second team.

Patterson, K-State’s all-time wins leader with 239 during her 12-year career, led Kansas State to the 2008 Big 12 regular season title, the team’s second championship since 2004. The Wildcats became the first team in Big 12 women’s or men’s basketball history to go from last in the conference standings to first the next year. KSU finished 13-3 in Big 12 contests, one game ahead of second place Baylor. Kansas State is 21-8 on the year with four wins over Top 25-ranked opponents.

This is the second Big 12 Coach of the Year honor for Patterson, as she garnered the honor at the conclusion of the 2002 season. During her time at Kansas State, Patterson has averaged 20 wins a season and has guided the Wildcats to six straight postseason appearances, the longest current postseason streak at K-State.

The Wildcats had two players named to the All-Big 12 first team, as the backcourt of senior Kimberly Dietz and junior Shalee Lehning earned the distinction. The selections of Dietz and Lehning to the All-Big 12 first team are the first such selections for the Wildcats since the 2005 season. This is the third time in school history that the Wildcats have had two players on the All-Big 12 first team. In the program’s history, K-State has had six players earn All-Big 12 first team honors.

Dietz, a native of Boulder, Colo., leads the Wildcats in scoring this season at 15.4 points per game and ranks eighth in the league. During Big 12 play Dietz has turned up her game, as she has tallied 17.1 points per game to rank fourth in the league in scoring for conference games. Dietz has climbed the career scoring charts this season, as she moved into 10th all-time for career points with 1,321.

Lehning is the league leader in assists per game at 6.38 and ranks among the top-15 in seven statistical categories. The 5-9 guard from Sublette, Kan., is the shortest player to appear among the top-15 in rebounding and ranks 11th with 7.5 per game. Lehning is coming off a virtuoso performance with a career-high of 29 points and 17 rebounds at Kansas to help seal K-State’s Big 12 regular season crown.

On the All-Big 12 second team, junior Marlies Gipson represents the Wildcats. The forward from McPherson, Kan., ranks fifth in the league in blocks per game at 2.24, sixth in the league in rebounds per game at 7.8, sixth in field goal percentage at .520 and 21st in scoring at 11.7. Earlier this season, Gipson registered 21 points, 16 rebounds and five blocks at Oklahoma State to help her garner Big 12 Player of the Week honors for Jan. 28.

The top-seeded Wildcats will begin action at the 2008 Phillips 66 Big 12 Women’s Basketball Championships on Wednesday, March 12 at 12 p.m. K-State will take on the winner of Tuesday’s Iowa State/Colorado contest in Municipal Auditorium.

Technorati Tags: Eliot Spitzer, Michael Beasley, Deb Patterson, Kimberly Dietz, Shalee Lehning, Kansas State University, KSU, wildcats, college basketball

New York Knows How To Do It Right!

Political Gossip

The Aging Disco Diva has actually lived in Kansas a lot longer than she lived in New York. I lived in the Big Apple for the first 18 years of my life and then moved to Kansas to attend college in the early 1970s (Yes, I am 29 years old in Diva Years) but I will always have a soft spot in my heart (and head) for my native land because...well, damn it...New Yorkers do it right. We don't half arse anything...if we are going to do something we...go...all...the...way.

First: The Sunflower State Scandal

This past winter Kansans were aghast because Paul Morrison, the state attorney general, was caught playing "horizontal dictation" and "hide the sharpie" with one of his coworkers. Both were married to mental black holes who evidently were the only ones in the state that had no clue what was going on, but it gets a bit juicier. The woman involved claims she was sexually harassed into revealing secrets of his political rival Phill Kline:

When you look up the word "schmuck" in the dictionary you will see Phill's picture (that's him above) He is the poster child for schmucks around the globe, so this did add to the fun factor of the scandal, but not all that much. The newspaper editors in Kansas tried to outdo each other by coming up with uncountable ways of using the words "sordid" "shameful" "shocking" and of course my favorite "This is something you would expect to read about in New York, not Kansas."

Attorney General Paul Morrison faces a sexual harassment claim tied to an extramarital affair he had with a subordinate in the Johnson County district attorney’s office that continued after he became the state’s top prosecutor this year. The Topeka Capital-Journal learned Carter had a two-year affair with Morrison that began in September 2005 with a sex act inside an office at the Johnson County Courthouse and continued until this September with a series of covert liaisons in Topeka, Wichita, Salina, Overland Park and cities in at least three other states.

Carter said in a signed statement that Morrison pressured her to make use of her position in the D.A.’s office to influence pending litigation involving Johnson County District Attorney Phill Kline. Morrison confirmed Saturday that he engaged in a romantic relationship with Carter. However, the attorney general said he neither discriminated nor harassed her. “Many of the claims made by Linda Carter are false,” Morrison said. “Unfortunately, it is true, however, that I once had a consensual relationship with Mrs. Carter. And I profoundly regret that I did.” “I sincerely apologize for this failing in my personal life and I pledge to continue to fight for the safety and security of Kansans to the best of my ability,” he also said.

But thinking this was a New York style scandal is where Kansans are dead balls wrong---New Yorkers would not even raise an eyebrow over this kind of garden variety political fornication. The Aging Disco Diva found it humorous that one of the places Paul Morrison played "hide the salami" was her current home town---a place that you cannot buy a friggin' cup of Starbucks coffee, but let's be honest this scandal was boring. You want a New York style political scandal? Here ya go:

Now Compare: The Empire State Scandal

New York Governor Eliot Spitzer has been caught on a federal wiretap arranging to meet with a high-priced prostitute at a Washington hotel last month, according to a person briefed on the federal investigation. An affidavit in the federal investigation into a prostitution ring said that a wiretap recording captured a man identified as Client 9 on a telephone call confirming plans to have a woman travel from New York to Washington, where he had reserved a hotel room. The person briefed on the case identified Mr. Spitzer as Client 9.

Mr. Spitzer today made a brief public appearance during which he apologized for his behavior, and described it as a “private matter.”

“I have acted in a way that violates my obligation to my family and violates my or any sense of right or wrong,” said Mr. Spitzer, who appeared with his wife Silda at his Manhattan office. “I apologize first and most importantly to my family. I apologize to the public to whom I promised better.” “I have disappointed and failed to live up to the standard I expected of myself. I must now dedicate some time to regain the trust of my family.”

Before speaking, Mr. Spitzer stood with his arm around his wife; the two nodded and then strode forward together to face more than 100 reporters. Both had glassy, tear-filled eyes, but they did not cry.

According to press reports, agents from the Internal Revenue Service found more than $600,000 in cash in the Cliffside Park, N.J., home of 62-year-old Mark Brener, the accused ringleader of Emperors Club VIP. The upscale escort service used a rating system of diamonds for each of the models whose lingerie-clad bodies were advertised on the Web site, by first name only.

A three-diamond model went for $1,000, and a seven-diamond prostitute fetched $3,100. Icon Club members won access to the most highly prized prostitutes for $5,500 an hour, prosecutors say.

$5,500 an hour for sex???!!! Damn that is more then the Dread Pirate Heather Mills will end up getting from Sir Paul. You have to admit...this is style: $132,000 a day whores, a diamond based rating system for said whores, a prostitution VIP club, the dutiful wife who stands by her man during the press conference today, but tonight will cut his man-berries off and send them to her divorce lawyer as a good faith down payment... and politics. Now that's a scandal!

My fellow New Yorkers have once again shown the world how to "do a scandal" but both the New York and Kansas political scandal had something in common---two men who are so unbelievably fugly that it makes my skin crawl...and I am an old broad.

They say power is an aphrodisiac, but it would take the title of "Emperor of the Whole Damn Universe" and lots and lots of liquor to make either one of these guys even remotely attractive.

Technorati Tags: Paul Morrison, Phill Kline, Eliot Spitzer, seven-diamond prostitutes, Emperors VIP Club,