Ho No, or Whatta a Little Spitzer!

This morning the Aging Disco Diva found herself in the midst of a crisis---I plunged my coffee scoop into the canister and came up with air. A look inside revealed a horror that rivaled anything Tobe Hooper could put on film---a few lousy coffee granules, not even enough for an espresso snort.

Wobbling and weaving under the effects of extreme caffeine withdrawal I managed to crawl into the exploding Pinto. Scraping dried, weeks old latte debris from the bottom of a discarded Styrofoam cup I found in the back seat and licking them off of my trembling fingers gave me the strength to drive the half mile or so to our local "Pay More and Buy Less" supermarket. I made a bee line to the coffee isle and dumped a scoop of industrial strength coffee beans into the grinder, placed my open mouth underneath the hopper and pushed the button.

Within seconds the twitching stopped and the fog began to lift. I placed twenty bags of coffee beans (enough to last the week) into the cart and headed to the check out.

While waiting in line I heard the most amusing conversation between two very old ladies with blue hair:

Blue hair #1: "I was getting so damn sick of all the Obama and Clinton news, I am glad that there is something else for the TV people to talk about"

Blue hair #2: " Well, I tell you what---he sure paid to play didn't he?"

Blue hair #1: "Can you believe how much money those people in New York pay for prostitutes?"

Blue hair #2: "I think those were Washington prostitutes, not New York prostitutes"

Blue hair #1: "Same difference...New York, Washington....they were talking about thousands of dollars for an hour....these were not ten dollar hookers that is for sure!"

Blue hair #2: "Dearie, ten dollar hookers were back in the Kennedy administration.... damn inflation"

Blue hair #1:"Well, that's true.... and you know it costs a lot more to live in New York than here, so paying that much for a prostitute makes sense"

I am not sure what was more surreal: Two little old ladies who could not have been a day younger than 80 loudly tossing the words "prostitutes" and "hookers" around like a bingo chips, or the notion that a couple of octogenarians would be casually debating the cost of living factors of being a whore in New York.

Writing a memorable or witty newspaper headline is an art and New York City newspaper editors have come up with some doozies over the years:

This one became the stuff of legends:

Today's New York Post front page made me laugh out loud:

Jon Stewart is a hoot, you just knew his take on it would be delicious:

Wildcat News

Michael Beeeeeeeeeasley

Freshman forward Michael Beasley became the second consecutive standout freshman to win both Big 12 Player and Freshman of the Year accolades on Monday, as his selection highlighted the 2007-08 Phillips 66 All-Big 12 Men’s Basketball Awards.

Beasley becomes the fourth player in school history to be honored as the league’s Player of the Year and the first since the inception of the Big 12. He joins Lon Kruger (1973 and 1974), Mike Evans (1977 and 1978) and Rolando Blackman (1980) as Wildcats to be named to conference Player of the Year. He is the first player to earn the distinction of league Freshman of the Year and the 12th overall to be selected as either Freshman or Newcomer of the Year since 1970. Six freshmen (Bob Zender – 1970; Steve Mitchell – 1971; Lon Kruger – 1972; Mike Evans – 1975; Curtis Redding – 1977 and Ed Nealy – 1979) in school history have been named Newcomer of the Year.

In addition, Beasley was one of two players (Texas’ D.J. Augustin) to be selected unanimously to the All-Big 12 First Team. He is not only the school’s first unanimous first team honoree in the Big 12 era, but also the inaugural first team selection since the league’s inception. He is the first player since Steve Henson in 1989 to garner first team accolades from the league coaches. Beasley was joined on the all-conference team by teammate Bill Walker, who was selected to third team. The duo was also named to the All-Rookie Team by the coaches with Beasley being a unanimous pick.

Beasley was named the Big 12 Player and Freshman of the Year by The Associated Press, Kansas City Star and Rivals.com as well as to the all-conference first team by all three organizations. Walker was selected to the Star’s All-Big 12 second team, to the AP's third team and to Rivals.com’s Big 12 All-Freshman team.

The former No. 1 high school recruit continues to make his case for National Player of the Year honors, as Beasley is averaging 26.5 points on 53.7 percent shooting (282-of-525), including 39.5 percent from 3-point range, with 12.5 rebounds, 1.7 blocks, 1.3 steals and 1.2 assists in 31.3 minutes per game this season. As of Friday, he ranked among the top-5 in the nation in both scoring (third) and rebounding (first). He has recorded a double-double in 26 of 30 games and has totaled 23 games of 20 or more points. He leads the nation in double-doubles (26), 40-point games (three), 30-point games (13), 20-point, 10-rebound games (21) and 30-point, 10-rebound games (13).

Beasley already holds 27 Kansas State career, single-season and freshman records as well as 13 Big 12 single-game and single-season marks. With his 33-point, 14-rebound effort against Colorado on on March 4, he eclipsed Mitch Richmond’s (768; 1987-88) school single-season points record, while he broke the Big 12 record for double-doubles in a season with his 26th on the year. He is just the 27th player in NCAA Division I history to post 26 or more double-doubles in a season and the first since Utah’s Andrew Bogut (26) did it in 2004-05.


Women's Basketball Team Earns Honors

Kansas State head coach Deb Patterson was named 2007-08 Big 12 Coach of the Year and three players were named to the All-Big 12 first and second team.

Patterson, K-State’s all-time wins leader with 239 during her 12-year career, led Kansas State to the 2008 Big 12 regular season title, the team’s second championship since 2004. The Wildcats became the first team in Big 12 women’s or men’s basketball history to go from last in the conference standings to first the next year. KSU finished 13-3 in Big 12 contests, one game ahead of second place Baylor. Kansas State is 21-8 on the year with four wins over Top 25-ranked opponents.

This is the second Big 12 Coach of the Year honor for Patterson, as she garnered the honor at the conclusion of the 2002 season. During her time at Kansas State, Patterson has averaged 20 wins a season and has guided the Wildcats to six straight postseason appearances, the longest current postseason streak at K-State.

The Wildcats had two players named to the All-Big 12 first team, as the backcourt of senior Kimberly Dietz and junior Shalee Lehning earned the distinction. The selections of Dietz and Lehning to the All-Big 12 first team are the first such selections for the Wildcats since the 2005 season. This is the third time in school history that the Wildcats have had two players on the All-Big 12 first team. In the program’s history, K-State has had six players earn All-Big 12 first team honors.

Dietz, a native of Boulder, Colo., leads the Wildcats in scoring this season at 15.4 points per game and ranks eighth in the league. During Big 12 play Dietz has turned up her game, as she has tallied 17.1 points per game to rank fourth in the league in scoring for conference games. Dietz has climbed the career scoring charts this season, as she moved into 10th all-time for career points with 1,321.

Lehning is the league leader in assists per game at 6.38 and ranks among the top-15 in seven statistical categories. The 5-9 guard from Sublette, Kan., is the shortest player to appear among the top-15 in rebounding and ranks 11th with 7.5 per game. Lehning is coming off a virtuoso performance with a career-high of 29 points and 17 rebounds at Kansas to help seal K-State’s Big 12 regular season crown.

On the All-Big 12 second team, junior Marlies Gipson represents the Wildcats. The forward from McPherson, Kan., ranks fifth in the league in blocks per game at 2.24, sixth in the league in rebounds per game at 7.8, sixth in field goal percentage at .520 and 21st in scoring at 11.7. Earlier this season, Gipson registered 21 points, 16 rebounds and five blocks at Oklahoma State to help her garner Big 12 Player of the Week honors for Jan. 28.

The top-seeded Wildcats will begin action at the 2008 Phillips 66 Big 12 Women’s Basketball Championships on Wednesday, March 12 at 12 p.m. K-State will take on the winner of Tuesday’s Iowa State/Colorado contest in Municipal Auditorium.

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  1. Spitzer's poor wife on that magazine cover! I hope when she came off of that Xanax she got a few slugs in his no-fly zone.

  2. Spitzer needs to thank his lucky stars he was not married to a Diva. I would have accompanied him to the press conference and as soon as he finished his little performance, I would have whipped out a rusty pair of pinking shears and hacked off his man-berries right there, live on CNN. I am definitely not long-suffering wife material.

  3. Stewart is da man...And so is Beasley for that matter. Cheers!!