New York Knows How To Do It Right!

Political Gossip

The Aging Disco Diva has actually lived in Kansas a lot longer than she lived in New York. I lived in the Big Apple for the first 18 years of my life and then moved to Kansas to attend college in the early 1970s (Yes, I am 29 years old in Diva Years) but I will always have a soft spot in my heart (and head) for my native land because...well, damn it...New Yorkers do it right. We don't half arse anything...if we are going to do something we...go...all...the...way.

First: The Sunflower State Scandal

This past winter Kansans were aghast because Paul Morrison, the state attorney general, was caught playing "horizontal dictation" and "hide the sharpie" with one of his coworkers. Both were married to mental black holes who evidently were the only ones in the state that had no clue what was going on, but it gets a bit juicier. The woman involved claims she was sexually harassed into revealing secrets of his political rival Phill Kline:

When you look up the word "schmuck" in the dictionary you will see Phill's picture (that's him above) He is the poster child for schmucks around the globe, so this did add to the fun factor of the scandal, but not all that much. The newspaper editors in Kansas tried to outdo each other by coming up with uncountable ways of using the words "sordid" "shameful" "shocking" and of course my favorite "This is something you would expect to read about in New York, not Kansas."

Attorney General Paul Morrison faces a sexual harassment claim tied to an extramarital affair he had with a subordinate in the Johnson County district attorney’s office that continued after he became the state’s top prosecutor this year. The Topeka Capital-Journal learned Carter had a two-year affair with Morrison that began in September 2005 with a sex act inside an office at the Johnson County Courthouse and continued until this September with a series of covert liaisons in Topeka, Wichita, Salina, Overland Park and cities in at least three other states.

Carter said in a signed statement that Morrison pressured her to make use of her position in the D.A.’s office to influence pending litigation involving Johnson County District Attorney Phill Kline. Morrison confirmed Saturday that he engaged in a romantic relationship with Carter. However, the attorney general said he neither discriminated nor harassed her. “Many of the claims made by Linda Carter are false,” Morrison said. “Unfortunately, it is true, however, that I once had a consensual relationship with Mrs. Carter. And I profoundly regret that I did.” “I sincerely apologize for this failing in my personal life and I pledge to continue to fight for the safety and security of Kansans to the best of my ability,” he also said.

But thinking this was a New York style scandal is where Kansans are dead balls wrong---New Yorkers would not even raise an eyebrow over this kind of garden variety political fornication. The Aging Disco Diva found it humorous that one of the places Paul Morrison played "hide the salami" was her current home town---a place that you cannot buy a friggin' cup of Starbucks coffee, but let's be honest this scandal was boring. You want a New York style political scandal? Here ya go:

Now Compare: The Empire State Scandal

New York Governor Eliot Spitzer has been caught on a federal wiretap arranging to meet with a high-priced prostitute at a Washington hotel last month, according to a person briefed on the federal investigation. An affidavit in the federal investigation into a prostitution ring said that a wiretap recording captured a man identified as Client 9 on a telephone call confirming plans to have a woman travel from New York to Washington, where he had reserved a hotel room. The person briefed on the case identified Mr. Spitzer as Client 9.

Mr. Spitzer today made a brief public appearance during which he apologized for his behavior, and described it as a “private matter.”

“I have acted in a way that violates my obligation to my family and violates my or any sense of right or wrong,” said Mr. Spitzer, who appeared with his wife Silda at his Manhattan office. “I apologize first and most importantly to my family. I apologize to the public to whom I promised better.” “I have disappointed and failed to live up to the standard I expected of myself. I must now dedicate some time to regain the trust of my family.”

Before speaking, Mr. Spitzer stood with his arm around his wife; the two nodded and then strode forward together to face more than 100 reporters. Both had glassy, tear-filled eyes, but they did not cry.

According to press reports, agents from the Internal Revenue Service found more than $600,000 in cash in the Cliffside Park, N.J., home of 62-year-old Mark Brener, the accused ringleader of Emperors Club VIP. The upscale escort service used a rating system of diamonds for each of the models whose lingerie-clad bodies were advertised on the Web site, by first name only.

A three-diamond model went for $1,000, and a seven-diamond prostitute fetched $3,100. Icon Club members won access to the most highly prized prostitutes for $5,500 an hour, prosecutors say.

$5,500 an hour for sex???!!! Damn that is more then the Dread Pirate Heather Mills will end up getting from Sir Paul. You have to admit...this is style: $132,000 a day whores, a diamond based rating system for said whores, a prostitution VIP club, the dutiful wife who stands by her man during the press conference today, but tonight will cut his man-berries off and send them to her divorce lawyer as a good faith down payment... and politics. Now that's a scandal!

My fellow New Yorkers have once again shown the world how to "do a scandal" but both the New York and Kansas political scandal had something in common---two men who are so unbelievably fugly that it makes my skin crawl...and I am an old broad.

They say power is an aphrodisiac, but it would take the title of "Emperor of the Whole Damn Universe" and lots and lots of liquor to make either one of these guys even remotely attractive.

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  1. Kudos to the leader of your natal state for out-sleazing our erstwhile AG. At first I thought it sad that NY was outsleazed by NJ and its former governor and his boy toy, but then I remembered the Mann Act. Lil' Eliot must have been snoozing that day in law school when they mentioned that hookering across state lines is a Federal crime. Take that, New Jersey!

    Nota bene: The schmuck is Phill Kline, or Philll Kline. This is to distinguish him from the real Phil Kline who is a nice moderate Republican from JoCo who was shooed out of office by the right-wing nutjobs who have usurped the real Republican party in Kansas. Sigh, now I have to live for the day that the evil Kris Kobach gets caught inflagrante with a Shetland pony, or perhaps a schnauzer.

  2. Hi are so right about Phill the pill's name---I am going to change it so that he is accorded the proper amount of infamy. There is even a website devoted to the schmo:

    Now for Kris "My best friends are all undocumented workers so I cannot be a bigot, but let's send them all to hell anyway" Kobach ...a little bit of lipstick, a dab of provocative perfume behind each limb, a flirty little low cut dress and my ferret Hermione can be quite the little temptress. A few pics of him involved in mad, hot, steamy ferret sex and our problem is solved ;)

  3. I love thinking about Heather as a pirate!

    Is there a decoder ring to the diamond-system. I want to know where I would fit in the diamond scale, just for kicks. Or in case a fuggo like one of those propositions me.

  4. Actually, now that you mention it..."a little bit of lipstick, a dab of provacative perfume behind each limb, a flirty little low cut dress"... and Kris his own self might make a nice wide stance event for the likes of Larry Craig. Surely someone there has a real purty mouth.

    I hate them and their lyin' cheatin' hypocritical kind. Can you tell?

  5. Hi Deb... I think rather than a decoder ring we should just let our fabulousness determine our diamond scale. I am not a spring chicken anymore so I will need to depreciate my value down a bit, I am also a bit Rubenesque so that must be taken into account (my fingers are flying across the calculator, punching in numbers and percentages) ...but hell, I am so damn FABULOUS that even with all those "markdowns" I give myself a "Ten Diamond" rating (as I toss the calculator over my shoulder and grab a celebratory glass of champagne) If a John has to ask my price, he friggin' cannot afford my womanly charms ;) If a Fugo approaches you let him know that a Platinum American Express Card with no spending limit is the minimum requirement.

  6. Annski--you now owe me at least four drinks at the next home football game...the image of Kris in drag prancing like the psycho Killer in "Silence of the Lambs" ("It rubs the lotion on its skin!")has left deep emotional scars that only liquor can erase. **shudder**