It is no big secret to any of my regular readers that the Aging Disco Diva loathes the Dread Pirate Heather Mills...but I am in good company because evidently 99.9% of the earth's population would welcome a passel of virulent giant crotch crabs taking up residence in their britches before they would accept Heather Mills as a resident on their block ... or town ... or region ... country... hemisphere ... planet ... solar system .... unive ... well you get my drift.
99.9%??? Hmmm .... that means that there is .1% of the population aligned with "Camp Heather" .... or in other words one or two people on the planet who like---no strike that word---tolerate, the witch.
Oops! Time to change that percentage to 100%.....
Heather Mills needs to find herself a new publicist.
On Thursday, the former "model's" publicist of four years quit, calling her "an impossible person."
In a statement to TV show Extra, Michele Elyzabeth says,
"After working for Heather Mills for four years, I have decided to cease representing her. Since her divorce has become final, in my opinion, Heather has become an impossible person.
"Yesterday, we engaged in a heated argument during which she called me "stupid." I reminded her that she was not "God" and she answered, 'I will never ever talk to you again.' I have been very patient in my dealings with Heather, however, I cannot take any more. I have given her substantial unpaid time and attention. I am owed money. I refuse to be subjected to her outbursts.
"On reflection and given the way I have been treated, I now have sympathy with much of what the British press have reported about her."
Heather, 40, earlier this year received a $48.6m divorce settlement from the former the Beatle. She was branded "less than candid" by the High Court judge, and poured a jug over Sir Paul's lawyer Fiona Shackleton. She is best known in America for her appearance on the 2007 series of ABC's Dancing with the Stars. She has a daughter, Beatrice, 4, with McCartney, 66.
Way to go Heather-Chickie-Babe-Beyotch-from-hell... holy carp, you can't even PAY people to tolerate your nastyass personality.
Somewhere Sir Paul is lighting up some Maui Wowie and laughing his ass off. So let's see...your ex-husband hates you, your father hates you, anyone who has ever met you hates you, and now the person whose job it is to make people stop hating you ... hates you.Wow, that is a damn amazing accomplishment. Someday, if she tried hard enough, Denise Richards might, just might, come close...but for right now--you da' woman!
Poor Bee-ah-trice.... Mommy Heather Dearest makes Joan Crawford look like she could have been "Mother of the Year" I wonder if Beatrice is allowed to have wire hangers?
Here is a purported picture of the publicist finally giving Heather what she so justly deserved:
OMFG. OMFG. OMFG. I had to say it three times. Heather Mills just brings out the ugliest thoughts and emotions from the Diva. Seriously... I have the irresistible urge to rip her leg off and beat her with it... no, not that leg---the one she was born with. She makes Leona Helmsley look like Mother Teresa. She is so universally loathed by people around the world, including her own family, that I think we would be hard pressed to find a single soul who would pee on her head if her hair were on fire. What is so mind boggling is that she seems shocked--- every damn time--- when confronted by this negative world opinion.
Scene from Ruthless People: Carol: Either the chief is a complete moron and complete morons are rare... [she looks up at Earl Mott, a "complete moron"] Carol: Or he's playing games with me!
So either she is a complete moron, and complete morons are rare... or:
As the former model was introduced to the audience at Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas, some audience members jeered, causing Mills to raise her eyebrows in surprise.
Mills had said she helped judge the beauty contest - broadcast on live TV - for the “charity aspect” after being invited by organizer Donald Trump.
She said, “I did one of these competitions, a long, long time ago. And it's a lot of work, people don't understand they look for this and work for this for years and years and years.
"Really, really difficult job this, but 20 times harder to walk out there and be brave enough."
Ok, here is a suggestion: Crawl into a damn hole, pull the dirt over yourself and go away. Then you would not have to be "brave enough." You would not have to be shocked, time and time again, when people share with you the fact that they think you are a social pariah.
Heather Mills taunted Sir Paul McCartney for dating a string of women in yet another TV rant.
Heather Mills yesterday launched a new attack on Sir Paul McCartney - accusing her ex-husband of having three romances on the go.
In a live TV interview, Mills declared: "I think he has three different girlfriends. I wish all the girls the best of luck. Better them than me."
Macca, 65, was recently pictured on holiday in the Caribbean with US heiress Nancy Shevell. He has also been linked to actress Rosanna Arquette and former Olympic horsewoman Tanya Larrigan.
In her first interview since winning a $52 million divorce settlement from the ex-Beatle, Mills vowed to continue her legal fight to get full transcripts of her divorce hearing made public.
She said: "We'll get there in the end. The truth always outs."
She described the divorce case as a "David versus Goliath" battle, where she was "fighting the Establishment".
She went on to boast about pouring water over the head of Macca's lawyer Fiona Shackleton at the end of the High Court case.
Mills claimed that she had done it to "cleanse and baptise" her.
Speaking from Las Vegas, where she is a judge in the Miss USA beauty contest, she said: "Mrs Shackleton said something under her breath so I cleansed and baptized her. I thought she looked fantastic.
"I thought it did her the world of good and now I've been offered lots of jobs for creating looks for women of her age, with these kind of hairdos. So I have no regrets." Mills also told GMTV that she had no regrets about representing herself during the divorce case, despite Judge Bennett accusing her of being a "less than candid" witness, living in a land of "make-believe".
She then accused the judge - one of Britain's most respected - of being "one-sided" in his damning judgment, which left her reputation in tatters.
Mills said: "I can't talk about anything other than the judgment, but the only two things he said was 'explosive' and 'volatile'.
"I was never once explosive and volatile and he was actually referring to my appearance on your program so that's the bit that he meant but he didn't actually expand on that.
"And the other thing he said was 'make believe' because I'd said we lived together before we were married.
"Most people know we lived together before we married and what he should have said is 'I don't believe that'."
Mills admitted: "People love me or hate me." And she blamed the negative media attention on the fact that she "upset the applecart" with her campaigns for "truthful journalism and the land mine treaty and the dog and cat fur campaign".
On her website, Mills says she signed up as a judge for the Miss USA contest because of its "charitable aspects".
OMFG...there, I said it again. She is forkin' delusional...
She was respected for “fighting the Establishment”???? Holy crap, she has been listening to "Revolution #9" too many times. Mucca has no friggin' clue what the "establishment" is but she is fighting it eh? In her forkin' dreams maybe. She has consistently come across as a money grabbing, immature harpy who suffers from a really serious case of diarrhea of the mouth. "STFU" is obviously a foreign concept to this wackjob.
Mills admitted: "People love me or hate me." Not really sweetie. we hate you. end of discussion. we. hate. you. totally. hate. you. really. not kidding. hate. no love. hate. really.
"I was never once explosive and volatile..." technically that would be correct, you psycho harpy from hell ... it was not once ... it has been dozens of times on t.v. alone.
She blamed the negative media attention on the fact that she "upset the applecart" with her campaigns for "truthful journalism and the land mine treaty and the dog and cat fur campaign". Ummm... the Diva has never met a land mine she liked and has more critters in her home than a small zoo...so we can eliminate those reasons. Why do I hate Heather Mills? Let me count the ways: 1) her personality 2) her personality 3) her personality 4) her personality 5) her personality... and last, but certainly not least... 6) her personality
Heather Mills....She's So Funny
This is a clip from a British late night show, and the host is a riot! "No offense Heather, but my two year old daughter has more dignity than you, and she sheyats her own pants and doesn't even care"
If you know the name of this man, or the show he is on, let me know so that I can give him the proper credit and homage he deserves!
UPDATE!!! Thank you Kath ( insertgoodname) for letting me know that this is Marcus Brigstocke from "The Late Edition Live" Her blog is not only new to me... it is relatively new to the Internet (started in March) so head over and check it out.
Aha! It all makes sense now.....obviously Sir Paul, like Demi Moore, was trying to cleanse and detoxify---this explains his association with the Dread Pirate Heather:
Demi Moore recently used blood-sucking leeches to "cleanse" and "detoxify," she said during an appearance Monday on “The Late Show With David Letterman.”
“I’ve always been somebody looking for the cutting edge of things that are for optimizing your health and healing, so just a week ago I was in Austria doing a cleanse and part of the treatment was leech therapy,” she told Letterman.
“These aren’t just swamp leeches, these are highly trained medical leeches,” she said. “These are not just some low-level scavengers; we’re talking high-level blood-suckers.”
I am not sure that I would use the phrase "high level" when discussing Mucca, but the blood suckers description is right on.....
Heather Mills is trying to prove Paul McCartney is worth much more than the $800 million he claimed in their divorce battle, the Daily Mail reports.
She has told friends she is employing a team of forensic accountants to examine her estranged husband's finances, the Mail says.
Such information, she hopes, will lead to the divorce ruling being overturned and see more money go to their 4-year-old daughter Beatrice, according to the Mail. Mills has told friends she cannot look after Beatrice on $76,000 a year, the sum awarded at the High Court.
In her impromptu press conference after the divorce hearing at the High Court in London, Mills said: "We all know he's worth $1.6 billion. He's been worth $1.6 billion for the last 15 years." Mills, who was awarded a $48.7 million settlement, had recruited accountancy firm Lee and Allen in an attempt to discredit McCartney's own valuation of his wealth, the Mail reports.
Heather Mills is reportedly planning to begin writing children’s books. The former model, who was recently divorced from Paul McCartney, was inspired to write children’s books by her and McCartney’s 4-year-old daughter Beatrice.
“Heather says she’d like to do children’s fiction and thinks she’ll be good at it because of Beatrice,” says an insider. “Heather would be thrilled if she wrote a series of bestselling children’s books. You never know, she could be the next JK Rowling.”
Yeah, you never know.....though it is more likely that the Aging Disco Diva could be the next Miss Universe with monkeys flying out of her butt....
The Aging Disco Diva is now convinced that Heather Mills is a walking, talking case of celebrity clap...you are not sure where you caught it, but it is the really nasty kind that is resistant to all known antibiotics and you just can't get rid of it. Dear Lord, what is it going to take to make her go away?
HEATHER Mills isn't satisfied with her $48.6 million divorce settlement from Paul McCartney she has been "calling around British magazines and television shows to sell her exclusives." One insider said Mills is demanding 1 million British pounds - or slightly more than $2 million - to not only talk, but share intimate photos and tape recordings she made of the ex-Beatle without his knowledge. Mills is also said to be pitching to American networks.
Well, a girl just can't be expected to live on a measly $49 million dollars! Let's hawk pictures of Beatrice's daddy, I am sure someday she will appreciate her mommy's efforts to maintain the lifestyle to which mommy has grown accustomed to...and damn to hell any consequences for the child.
Access Hollywood has confirmed that Mills will be a judge for the Miss USA pageant this spring. The Trump-owned pageant will air on NBC, live from Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas on April 11.
Well isn't that just special? If she disagrees with her fellow judges will she dose Donnie and Marie Osmond with water (or if she is feeling particularly peckish some type of inflammatory liquid?) I can see The Donald's logic is acquiring her services....who better to advise the potential winners about the ins and outs of posing for cootchie porn--I mean "educational" photos?
Heather Mills has bizarrely posted old messages of support from Hillary Clinton and Sir Richard Branson on her personal website. The former model, has made a desperate bid to salvage her tarnished reputation by re-launching her personal internet site with dated tributes to herself.
In one message, Hillary - who is currently bidding to become the next US President - praises Heather’s charity work. Hillary said: “God bless Heather Mills… for the person she is and the work she does for all of us. I have been inspired by her vital charity work.” However, the clip was filmed in 2002.... Branson’s tribute is believed to have been made almost a decade ago.
The 40-year-old - who has removed all photos of Paul from the website - also added a personal message following her divorce settlement on Monday (17.03.08). Heather said: "I am so happy and relieved that this divorce has finally been settled and I am delighted with the overall outcome as I feel as if a great weight has been lifted."
Well Heather, if all else fails you can use some of your winnings and buy some positive testimonials. I bet Gary Coleman would give you a good word (if the money is right)
I stumbled upon a columnist from the UK who not only shares the Diva's opinion of the Harpy from Hell....she even came up with better ways of describing the shrew. Here are some excerpts from her column yesterday:
On the pavement outside the Royal Courts of Justice on Monday, Heather Mills finally unraveled in front of the world. Her eyes rolled like a crazy foal's. Her scattergun mouth moved too quickly for her brain to keep up."He got everything he wanted!" she cried. "No one wants to see me doing well!" As the treacherous incantation continued, her thin lips twitched and spooled, giving vent to the Geordie-accented fury that could not be placated by a £24 million payout, plus extras.
It was a horrible sight, like watching a pair of pink worms doing the tango while hooked up to some malign electric current. Fzzzzzt! Step away from the cage when the lady is in this crazy mood.
Sadly, Heather's spewing mental ugliness and vaunting self-interest have become a part of our cultural landscape over the past year or so. In the background, the great, empty prairie of her delusion stretches to the horizon and beyond.
Saint Heather of the Downtrodden would be funny if she were not quite so toxic, and is particularly odious when continually citing her "charity" work as a justification for everything she does and says.
As Heather apparently sees it, she should be the Britannia on our coins, the vegetarian flame of justice, the tireless campaigner for good deeds in dark corners.
Since the day she met Sir Paul McCartney, she has carefully camouflaged her own ambition with altruism, but if she is still fooling anyone, it can only be herself.
Heather Mills has traveled a long, hard road to this moment of utter public humiliation. She has obfuscated, exaggerated, lied and lied again without caring for the feelings of others. The tragedy is that she truly is a remarkable woman - just not in the way that she thinks.
Saint Heather of the Downtrodden...oh that is so snarky, so rude and so uncalled for...I friggin' LOVE it and am kicking myself for not having come up with it first.
Wildcat News
The elephant in the room
We will ignore the elephant in the room today. People who think that their actions somehow control the fate of the whole world are thought of as megalomaniacs. Since I KNOW my actions control the fate of the world I am not a megalomaniac...I am just powerful and must be very careful not to inadvertently jinx my beloved Wildcats this evening. So we will not speak of that which must not be spoken of.... let's just say
Every once in the while the Aging Disco Diva puts down the frappuccino and Godiva Chocolates, pauses and wonders "Am I being unreasonably harsh on that stupid, vapid, waste of oxygen, beyotch Dread Pirate Heather?" but then something comes out that not only reinforces my low opinion of the man-eater it makes me think that I am being too easy on the harpy from hell. It is sooooo friggin' trailer trash to pour a glass of water over the opposing lawyer's head after you lose, but Lil' Miss Sunshine did just that yesterday. She is proof positive that a stupid bint who represents herself has a fool for a client — and a fool for a lawyer.
Heather Mills, the estranged wife of Sir Paul McCartney, was so furious with the turn of events regarding her divorce settlement that she poured a glass of water over Macca's solicitor. The incident, which had taken place on March 17 after the divorce deal was sealed in court, was because Heather was upset about the court awarding her just 24.3 million pounds ($48.6 million dollars) of her ex-hubby's fortune, instead of the 125 million pounds ($252 million dollars) she had expected.
Witnesses say that as the hearing ended, Mucca calmly picked up the glass of water and tipped it over lawyer Fiona Shackleton. The solicitor had arrived at London"s High Court with a neat bouffant at 10.15am:
British Sun Photo
however she left looking disheveled at 1.50pm:
British Sun Photograph
Mills has refused to admit that she poured the water, a matter judge Mr Justice Bennett could have viewed as contempt, but she later on boasted that 51-year-old Ms Shackleton, had been "baptized in court".
"Heather tipped the water over Fiona's head. She didn't throw it. It was cool, calm and collected. It trickled down Fiona's neck," the Sun quoted a witness as saying. "She waited until the hearing was over. The judge would have taken a very dim view of it if he'd seen it," the witness added.
Heather also went on to slam the blond solicitor in a bizarre statement on the steps of the court. "Fiona Shackleton has very sadly handled this case in the worst manner you can ever, ever imagine," she said. "She has called me many, many many names before even meeting me when I was in a wheelchair," she added.
Heather had expected to receive more money than what she had been given, but she has revealed that McCartney has offered her a total of only 32 million dollars
Evidently the judge in the case shares my opinion of the succubus bint....
The judge who heard the Sir Paul McCartney v Heather Mills divorce case said in his judgment that Heather’s evidence was “not just inconsistent and inaccurate but also less than candid." (Translation: Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire: The Prequel)
In his explosive ruling made public today, Mr Justice Bennett added: "Overall she was a less than impressive witness.” Mills hoped to be paid $125 million from the Beatles' singer's fortune. (Translation: she came across as a gold digging trollop)
Mills, 40, walked away from court with a settlement worth about $34,000 for every day of her marriage to the 65-year-old McCartney. But it was only a fifth of what she had sought and a fraction of McCartney's $800 million fortune. (Translation: Talk about inflated self worth! The Emperor's Club would not take your resume sweetie and your current street value is 1/10000 of what you got, so grab the money and run)
McCartney also was ordered to pay $70,000 a year for Beatrice, and to pay for her nanny and school fees. Mills said that was a paltry amount. "She's obviously meant to travel B class while her father travels A class," she said. (Translation: (Heather is thinking) "Sheyat, I was counting on that damn money as a slush fund....I wonder if I can whore out little Beatrice on a reality TV show like Denise Richards? Time to call my agent and tell her to get on the phone with the people at E! Network.....")
The judgment says: "In her letter of 31 January 2008 the wife computes her reasonable needs for herself and Beatrice at $202 million dollars or around $7 million dollars a year" In his ruling, the judge said Mills' claim "is and was unreasonable, indeed exorbitant." (Translation: she is f'n nuts and has no f'n idea of what living on a f'n budget might entail)
The judge described Sir Paul McCartney’s evidence as “balanced”. He said: “He expressed himself moderately though at times with justifiable irritation, if not anger. He was consistent, accurate and honest.” (Translation: the court fully understands that Sir Paul was definitely thinking with the Little Beatle and not with his head...)
However, Mr Justice Bennett said: “But I regret to have to say I cannot say the same about the wife’s evidence. (Translation: Liar, liar, Pants on Fire: Part One)
“Having watched and listened to her give evidence, having studied the documents, and having given in her favor every allowance for the enormous strain she must have been under (and in conducting her own case), I am driven to the conclusion that much of her evidence, both written and oral, was not just inconsistent and inaccurate but also less than candid. Overall she was a less than impressive witness.” (Translation: She is a complete and total idiot and the court had to work really, really, REALLY hard to give her the benefit of the doubt because both the client--Heather Mills, and her legal representative--Heather Mills, had the combined IQ of a mushy, over ripe, and past it's prime kumquat)
The ruling also cast doubts over Mills' claims that she donated 80 per cent of her earnings to good causes. (Translation: Liar, Liar Pants on Fire: The Sequel--the only charity you are interested in is the Heather Mills Party Hardy and Extravagant Lifestyles Fund)
Mr Justice Bennet said: "In her evidence she told me that as much as 80 per cent or 90 per cent of her earnings went direct to charities. However, the wife had to accept in her cross-examination that there was no documentary evidence, for example letters from the relevant charities, that her fees were sent direct to charities." (Translation: she was even too f'n stupid to create some dummy corporations or phony charity groups)
And the Judge said he could not accept Mills’ case that she was wealthy and independent by the time she met the former Beatle in the middle of 1999. “I find that the wife’s case as to her wealth in 1999 to be wholly exaggerated. (Translation: She was a gold digging, porn posing, ATM in her cootchie, liar)
"I have to say I cannot accept the wife’s case that she was wealthy and independent by the time she met the husband in the middle of 1999. Her problem stems from the lack of any documentary evidence to support her case as to the level of her earnings." (Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire: The Three-quel)
The Judge added: "Her tax returns for 1999 and 2000 do not support the wife’s case of very significant earnings as set out in her affidavit. (Translation: the German porn revenues were way down and the Arab Prince with the deep pockets stopped returning her calls)
"Furthermore, her assertion that she gave away to charity 80 per cent to 90 per cent of her earned income is inconsistent with having $4 million to $6 million in the bank in 1999. "The wife agreed that if she had $4 million to $6 million in the bank in 1999 she most likely would have put such a sum into an account earning interest. But the tax returns do not disclose any bank interest earned or only very small sums. Moreover her tax returns disclose no charitable giving at all." (Translation: Either you are lying to the court today or you lied when you filed your income taxes back in 1999... in any case the result is the same: Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire: The Final Chapter)
The judge said Mucca was 'her own worst enemy' when she claimed she could not get work because she was vilified by the press."I accept that since April 2006 the wife has had a bad press. She is entitled to feel that she has been ridiculed even vilified. To some extent she is her own worst enemy. She has an explosive and volatile character."(Translation: If you were not such an obnoxious, stupid, loathsome, beyotch badly in need of a personality transplant then perhaps the whole friggin' world would not hate your fingernails-on-chalkboard persona)
While I was composing this entry I had a great tune just playing in my disco lovin' head...and I am going to have to share:
Damn, The Aging Disco Diva has some great memories of doing the "Bump" at "Mother's Worry" to that song back in the day....
OMFG...there, I said it again. She is forkin' delusional...
