Lord, Please Make Her Go Away

The Aging Disco Diva is now convinced that Heather Mills is a walking, talking case of celebrity clap...you are not sure where you caught it, but it is the really nasty kind that is resistant to all known antibiotics and you just can't get rid of it. Dear Lord, what is it going to take to make her go away?

A Boil on the Arse of the World

HEATHER Mills isn't satisfied with her $48.6 million divorce settlement from Paul McCartney she has been "calling around British magazines and television shows to sell her exclusives." One insider said Mills is demanding 1 million British pounds - or slightly more than $2 million - to not only talk, but share intimate photos and tape recordings she made of the ex-Beatle without his knowledge. Mills is also said to be pitching to American networks.

Well, a girl just can't be expected to live on a measly $49 million dollars! Let's hawk pictures of Beatrice's daddy, I am sure someday she will appreciate her mommy's efforts to maintain the lifestyle to which mommy has grown accustomed to...and damn to hell any consequences for the child.

One More Reason Not To Watch The Miss Meat Show

Access Hollywood has confirmed that Mills will be a judge for the Miss USA pageant this spring. The Trump-owned pageant will air on NBC, live from Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas on April 11.

Well isn't that just special? If she disagrees with her fellow judges will she dose Donnie and Marie Osmond with water (or if she is feeling particularly peckish some type of inflammatory liquid?) I can see The Donald's logic is acquiring her services....who better to advise the potential winners about the ins and outs of posing for cootchie porn--I mean "educational" photos?

Because if you lose your reputation, you lose everything....

Heather Mills has bizarrely posted old messages of support from Hillary Clinton and Sir Richard Branson on her personal website. The former model, has made a desperate bid to salvage her tarnished reputation by re-launching her personal internet site with dated tributes to herself.

In one message, Hillary - who is currently bidding to become the next US President - praises Heather’s charity work. Hillary said: “God bless Heather Mills… for the person she is and the work she does for all of us. I have been inspired by her vital charity work.” However, the clip was filmed in 2002.... Branson’s tribute is believed to have been made almost a decade ago.

The 40-year-old - who has removed all photos of Paul from the website - also added a personal message following her divorce settlement on Monday (17.03.08). Heather said: "I am so happy and relieved that this divorce has finally been settled and I am delighted with the overall outcome as I feel as if a great weight has been lifted."

Well Heather, if all else fails you can use some of your winnings and buy some positive testimonials. I bet Gary Coleman would give you a good word (if the money is right)

I stumbled upon a columnist from the UK who not only shares the Diva's opinion of the Harpy from Hell....she even came up with better ways of describing the shrew. Here are some excerpts from her column yesterday:

Heather Mills is only fooling herself

Jan Moir, Telegraph.co.uk

12:10am GMT, 19/03/2008

On the pavement outside the Royal Courts of Justice on Monday, Heather Mills finally unraveled in front of the world. Her eyes rolled like a crazy foal's. Her scattergun mouth moved too quickly for her brain to keep up."He got everything he wanted!" she cried. "No one wants to see me doing well!" As the treacherous incantation continued, her thin lips twitched and spooled, giving vent to the Geordie-accented fury that could not be placated by a £24 million payout, plus extras.

It was a horrible sight, like watching a pair of pink worms doing the tango while hooked up to some malign electric current. Fzzzzzt! Step away from the cage when the lady is in this crazy mood.

Sadly, Heather's spewing mental ugliness and vaunting self-interest have become a part of our cultural landscape over the past year or so. In the background, the great, empty prairie of her delusion stretches to the horizon and beyond.

Saint Heather of the Downtrodden would be funny if she were not quite so toxic, and is particularly odious when continually citing her "charity" work as a justification for everything she does and says.

As Heather apparently sees it, she should be the Britannia on our coins, the vegetarian flame of justice, the tireless campaigner for good deeds in dark corners.

Since the day she met Sir Paul McCartney, she has carefully camouflaged her own ambition with altruism, but if she is still fooling anyone, it can only be herself.

Heather Mills has traveled a long, hard road to this moment of utter public humiliation. She has obfuscated, exaggerated, lied and lied again without caring for the feelings of others. The tragedy is that she truly is a remarkable woman - just not in the way that she thinks.

Saint Heather of the Downtrodden...oh that is so snarky, so rude and so uncalled for...I friggin' LOVE it and am kicking myself for not having come up with it first.

Wildcat News

The elephant in the room

We will ignore the elephant in the room today. People who think that their actions somehow control the fate of the whole world are thought of as megalomaniacs. Since I KNOW my actions control the fate of the world I am not a megalomaniac...I am just powerful and must be very careful not to inadvertently jinx my beloved Wildcats this evening. So we will not speak of that which must not be spoken of.... let's just say


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1 comment:

  1. We won WE won We won We won We won We won We won We won We won We won

    Now, bring on the Cheese!