Talking.... my second all time favorite activity

Because the last thing I want to do is screw Hillary....

Saturday Night Live has been more miss than hit these last few decades...but they do come up with some wicked political skits once in a while.

I must admit this latest Tina Fey skit is just too ridiculous, too outrageous, too unbelievable. I mean, come on--who would be so stupid as to conduct an interview about pardoning a turkey while Hannibal Lecter was in the background recreating the "Silence of the Lambs"?? Ha ha ha ha ha...

WhatchutalkinboutWillis??? This wasn't a Saturday Night Live skit??? That wasn't Tina Fey, it was Sarah Palin....you mean that was REAL?

Clarice: I heard a strange noise.

Hannibal: What was it?

Clarice: It was... screaming. Some kind of screaming, like a child's voice, and a shrill nasally voice.

Hannibal: What did you do?

Clarice: I went downstairs, outside. I crept up into the barn. I was so scared to look inside, but I had to.

Hannibal: And what did you see, Clarice? What did you see?

Clarice: Turkeys. The turkeys were screaming. And Sarah Palin was talking.

Hannibal: They were slaughtering the Thanksgiving turkeys?

Clarice: Yes, and they were screaming while Sarah Palin talked about levity.

Hannibal: Well, Clarice - have the turkeys stopped screaming?

Clarice: Has Sarah stopped talking?

Betty White is a National Treasure

That is one hot piece of man.....

Betty White is one of the funniest ladies on the planet. Her comic timing dead on balls accurate.

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God Love 'Em, But He's a Raging Maniac....

Marriage should be an institution between two unwilling teenagers....

Are we not doing a talent portion?

And now a word from the Supreme Ruler of the Universe, The infamous Aging Disco Diva:

"Hello there! May I call you 'minions'?" (Without bothering to look up from her box of Godiva Chocolates to see if the audience is nodding yeah or nay) "Well minions, my flying monkey public relations team said that I need to work on my people skills so that all you peons will continue to slavishly worship me. My chief strategist, Karl 'Just call me Bananas' Rovorangutan, has supplied me with a list of phrases overheard at our local Wal-mart this week and he wants me to use them as much a possible in this canned, calculated and memorized speech, spontaneous, heartfelt, little chat"

"Here is a photo taken of Karl at our last strategy meeting...
Or maybe it is this one?"




"Anyway... gosh darnit, things like facts and details are beneath the Diva (The diva looks up from her chocolates and winks...or perhaps she got a drop of champagne in her eyes, but the male baboons have stopped flinging poo and are sitting up and watching the Diva eagerly)

"Let me continue...Okey Dokey, minions (looking at the list, checking off 'okey dokey' and going to the next word) howyadoin'today? (looking back down at her box of Godiva Chocolates and not caring one bit if the audience is replying)

"Garshdarnit, The Aging Disco Diva, has a friend (and dontcha' be like that nasty Katie Couric --perky my arse--and try and trick me by asking me tough questions like 'What is the name of your friend?' or 'Have you ever read a book in your life'? ) Anyway, I have a friend who chose to be a hockey mom (nothing that a lot of prayer and an all out exorcism will not be able to cure, dontchaknow) and I want to give a big ole' shout-out to her and all you fellow "Joe Six Packs"

and "Joanna Mixed Cocktails"

The Aging Disco Diva also want to remind you to please, please, please register to vote. Regardless of what your political leanings are, dontchaknow (wink, wink) it is imperative that you get your main street arse in gear and vote November 4th, doggone it."

Here are some important registration dates:

Alabama Fri, Oct. 24
Alaska Sun, Oct. 5 (postmark by Sat, Oct. 4)
Arizona Mon, Oct. 6
Arkansas Mon, Oct. 6
California Mon, Oct. 20
Colorado Mon, Oct. 6
Connecticut Tues, Oct. 21
Delaware Sat, Oct. 11
District of Columbia Mon, Oct. 6
Florida Mon, Oct. 6
Georgia Mon, Oct. 6
Hawaii Mon, Oct. 6
Idaho Register at Polls
Illinois Tues, Oct. 7
Indiana Mon, Oct. 6
Iowa Fri, Oct. 24 (or on Election Day at polling place)
Kansas Mon, Oct. 20
Kentucky Mon, Oct. 6
Louisiana Mon, Oct. 6
Maine Tue, Oct. 21 (or on Election Day at polling place)
Maryland Tue, Oct. 14
Massachusetts Wed, Oct. 15
Michigan Mon, Oct. 6
Minnesota Same Day Registration at polling place
Mississippi Mon, Oct. 6
Missouri Wed, Oct. 8
Montana Mon, Oct. 6 (or same day at elections office)
Nebraska Fri, Oct. 24 (mail by Fri, Oct. 17)
Nevada Tue, Oct. 4 (or in person until Oct. 14)
New Hampshire Same Day
New Jersey Tues, Oct. 14
New Mexico Tues, Oct. 7
New York Fri, Oct. 10
North Carolina Fri, Oct. 10
North Dakota N/A
Ohio Mon, Oct. 6
Oklahoma Fri, Oct. 10
Oregon Tue, Oct. 14
Pennsylvania Mon, Oct. 6
Rhode Island Sat, Oct. 4
South Carolina Sat, Oct. 4
South Dakota Mon, Oct. 20
Tennessee Mon, Oct. 6
Texas Mon, Oct. 6
Utah Mon, Oct. 6 or in person Tue, Oct. 28
Vermont Wed, Oct. 29
Virginia Mon, Oct. 6
Washington Sat, Oct. 4 (or until Mon, Oct. 20 in person)
West Virginia Wed, Oct. 15
Wisconsin Wed, Oct. 15 (or on Election Day at polling place)
Wyoming Can register at polls


If you want to check to see if you are registered here are some online websites,

Check here

or

Check here

though the Diva strongly suggests you get into your exploding Pintos and teeter down to your local county offices.

Katie, I'd Like to Use One of My Lifelines....

I didn't think that the first skit could be topped, but this second one was even funnier. I laughed at least a dozen times out loud...while fighting the urge to cry...

New Like....8 Tracks?

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Every comic in America must be bowing down every night and giving copious prayers of gratitude. They don't even have to break a sweat coming up with anything...it is being hand delivered in a big shiny box with a sparkle bow by the candidates.

Jon Stewart:

Verbage? The Aging Disco Diva can't seem to find verbage in her dictionary....hmmmmm...must be a new contraction of the words "verbal" and "garbage"

What's Up Guv?

OMG....I have watched this about a dozen times already, whadda friggin' hoot! It was created by Robert Rouse. What makes it hysterical is that it uses the original cartoon sound track and voice characterizations...nothing was changed, just new faces imposed on Daffy, Bugs and Elmer.

Duck season! Rabbit season! It's certainly political Looney Tunes no matter how you slice it.

That's all folks!

Big Man in A Little Box....

Jon Stewart was on a roll this week:





A bit of Déjà vu' all over again.

NCLB: No Conventioneer Left Behind

A few chocolate covered champagne bonbons to munch on this evening:


The Diva was so pleased to see that all those "Hooked on Phonics" lessons did not go for naught last night:

And of course, I just had to post Jon Stewart's take on this week's festivus... No matter what your politics, you can't help but laugh out loud at his great clips





The National Inquirer....doing some vetting? An interesting spin on what's good for the gander (John Edwards) is good for the goose (A little bit of Northern Exposure Miss Sarah?)

Yes, even the Aging Disco Diva had to battle the big, bad fourth estate meanies when I was running for Diva Queen of the Whole Friggin' Universe. But I didn't scream sexism or sic some wrinkly white haired old dude and his money bag (no, not Cindy--I mean literally a bag of money) after the press .... I just sent the flying monkeys to toss pooh...come to think of it I think I did see Karl Rove flinging the feces this week.

This is more fun than a barrel of flying monkeys.

Oh, What a Web We Weave.....

Yessireee bob, the Diva could not make this sheeyat up. Don't these geniuses realize that their previous, PERMANENTLY RECORDED, FOREVER AVAILABLE, ON TAPE, WRITTEN DOWN IN THE BOOK OF LIFE, ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS GOOGLE, words of wisdom will be used to make them look like id-jiots while biting them on the arse? Oh, what a web we weave when first we practice to deceive...

Hot deeham, what will we all do for entertainment after November 4th? Celebrity Has-Been Detox on Ice will pale in comparison.....

It Could Become a Category 5 Sheeyat Storm!

What can the Diva say that could possibly top what is actually going in the political arena? Nada. Absolutely too twisted for TV, Ouiser