God Love 'Em, But He's a Raging Maniac....

Marriage should be an institution between two unwilling teenagers....

Are we not doing a talent portion?

And now a word from the Supreme Ruler of the Universe, The infamous Aging Disco Diva:

"Hello there! May I call you 'minions'?" (Without bothering to look up from her box of Godiva Chocolates to see if the audience is nodding yeah or nay) "Well minions, my flying monkey public relations team said that I need to work on my people skills so that all you peons will continue to slavishly worship me. My chief strategist, Karl 'Just call me Bananas' Rovorangutan, has supplied me with a list of phrases overheard at our local Wal-mart this week and he wants me to use them as much a possible in this canned, calculated and memorized speech, spontaneous, heartfelt, little chat"

"Here is a photo taken of Karl at our last strategy meeting...
Or maybe it is this one?"

"Anyway... gosh darnit, things like facts and details are beneath the Diva
(The diva looks up from her chocolates and winks...or perhaps she got a drop of champagne in her eyes, but the male baboons have stopped flinging poo and are sitting up and watching the Diva eagerly)

"Let me continue...Okey Dokey, minions (looking at the list, checking off 'okey dokey' and going to the next word) howyadoin'today? (looking back down at her box of Godiva Chocolates and not caring one bit if the audience is replying)

"Garshdarnit, The Aging Disco Diva, has a friend (and dontcha' be like that nasty Katie Couric --perky my arse--and try and trick me by asking me tough questions like 'What is the name of your friend?' or 'Have you ever read a book in your life'? ) Anyway, I have a friend who chose to be a hockey mom (nothing that a lot of prayer and an all out exorcism will not be able to cure, dontchaknow) and I want to give a big ole' shout-out to her and all you fellow "Joe Six Packs"

and "Joanna Mixed Cocktails"

The Aging Disco Diva also want to remind you to please, please, please register to vote. Regardless of what your political leanings are, dontchaknow (wink, wink) it is imperative that you get your main street arse in gear and vote November 4th, doggone it."

Here are some important registration dates:

Alabama Fri, Oct. 24
Alaska Sun, Oct. 5 (postmark by Sat, Oct. 4)
Arizona Mon, Oct. 6
Arkansas Mon, Oct. 6
California Mon, Oct. 20
Colorado Mon, Oct. 6
Connecticut Tues, Oct. 21
Delaware Sat, Oct. 11
District of Columbia Mon, Oct. 6
Florida Mon, Oct. 6
Georgia Mon, Oct. 6
Hawaii Mon, Oct. 6
Idaho Register at Polls
Illinois Tues, Oct. 7
Indiana Mon, Oct. 6
Iowa Fri, Oct. 24 (or on Election Day at polling place)
Kansas Mon, Oct. 20
Kentucky Mon, Oct. 6
Louisiana Mon, Oct. 6
Maine Tue, Oct. 21 (or on Election Day at polling place)
Maryland Tue, Oct. 14
Massachusetts Wed, Oct. 15
Michigan Mon, Oct. 6
Minnesota Same Day Registration at polling place
Mississippi Mon, Oct. 6
Missouri Wed, Oct. 8
Montana Mon, Oct. 6 (or same day at elections office)
Nebraska Fri, Oct. 24 (mail by Fri, Oct. 17)
Nevada Tue, Oct. 4 (or in person until Oct. 14)
New Hampshire Same Day
New Jersey Tues, Oct. 14
New Mexico Tues, Oct. 7
New York Fri, Oct. 10
North Carolina Fri, Oct. 10
North Dakota N/A
Ohio Mon, Oct. 6
Oklahoma Fri, Oct. 10
Oregon Tue, Oct. 14
Pennsylvania Mon, Oct. 6
Rhode Island Sat, Oct. 4
South Carolina Sat, Oct. 4
South Dakota Mon, Oct. 20
Tennessee Mon, Oct. 6
Texas Mon, Oct. 6
Utah Mon, Oct. 6 or in person Tue, Oct. 28
Vermont Wed, Oct. 29
Virginia Mon, Oct. 6
Washington Sat, Oct. 4 (or until Mon, Oct. 20 in person)
West Virginia Wed, Oct. 15
Wisconsin Wed, Oct. 15 (or on Election Day at polling place)
Wyoming Can register at polls

If you want to check to see if you are registered here are some online websites,

though the Diva strongly suggests you get into your exploding Pintos and teeter down to your local county offices.

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