The Diva is not a Paris Hilton fan. She seems to be the patron saint of the vapid, meaningless (talentless) and self-indulgent, but I might have been selling her a teeny bit short. After watching how she handled the whole John McCain fiasco I have elevated her on my Diva-meter (She is definitely several steps above the Dread Pirate Heather now, which is not saying much, but it is a promotion in rank never the less.)
Now, let's discuss what brought this all about. Obviously someone was very confused and ill informed, and for once it wasn't Miss Paris. We all know that crap flinging, lying, and plain old nastiness go hand and hand with U.S. politics.... but poor John. He must have been having brain fart.
Come on, John, you are supposed to heap the doo doo on your OPPONENT, not some silly socialite who is as political as a rutabaga.
She didn't know him from any other "wrinkly, white-haired guy" (her quote) but I guess she googled him up and came to the understanding that he was someone kinda' important : " (McCain is) the oldest celebrity in the world, like super-old; old enough to remember when dancing was a sin and beer was served in a bucket".
The world is now concerned that John may have forgotten who is running against. Hint: it ain't the skinny white blond chick...think darker, think male...well, you can still think skinny. I sure hope that McCain's campaign staff creates cue cards or something so that he learns the difference between Obama, Paris and Brittany. Mercy!
Anyway, here is Paris Hilton's response. It amused the Diva this morning... and starting my day off with a chuckle is always delicious. Enjoy!
Well, it is time for the flying monkeys to refresh my double espresso martini, plump up my 1,000 count Egyptian cotton covered pillows, and for the Aging Disco Diva to start her work day. Being the Queen Mother of the whole f*ing universe is hard work but someone has to do it.
You know, back in the old days if a man did his wife wrong she could toss his clothes, piece by piece, out the third floor apartment window so that when honey came home from work he would be greeted by the sight of his best dress shirts, expensive pants and BVDs hanging from tree branches and strewn across the front of the building. As he walked up the sidewalk toward the lobby entrance he would then be bombarded by his toiletries, suitcases, shoes and anything else she could grab and toss that might inflict bodily harm (Aging Disco Diva's maternal grandmother)
or.....she could sweetly explain to her spouse, while slicing veggies for dinner one evening, that he " Better stop seeing that *&^*& tramp" and when he replies "Don't you tell me what I have to do!" she makes a damn good attempt at slicing off his appendage...no, not that appendage (I am not descended from the Bobbit clan), she nearly severs the finger he was pointing in her face when yelling at her (Aging Disco Diva's paternal grandmother)
.... now you know why the Divo has never strayed---he is married to a woman who has the blood of fiery, vindictive, strong-willed Hispanic women who will not take crap from anyone coursing through her veins... not only can I use the insanity defense in any court in the country...I have the verified genealogy to back it up.
Well, that was in the good old days....but today, thanks to technology, women can not only air the dirty laundry for the neighbors to see, they can friggin' broadcast it to the whole planet:
We're the YouTube Generation, living in the YouTube Era, in a YouTube World. And now we apparently have a YouTube Divorce. Some prominent New York divorce lawyers couldn't think of another case where a spouse -- in this instance, the wife of a major Broadway theater operator -- had taken to YouTube to spill the secrets of a marriage in an apparent effort to gain leverage and humiliate the other side.
"This is absolutely a new step, and I think it's scary," said Bonnie Rabin, a divorce lawyer who has handled high-profile cases. "People used to worry about getting on Page Six [the gossip page of the New York Post]. But this? It brings the concept of humiliation to a whole new level."
In a tearful and furious YouTube video with close to 150,000 hits to date, former actress and playwright ("Bonkers") Tricia Walsh-Smith lashes out against her husband, Philip Smith, president of the Shubert Organization, the largest theater owner on Broadway.
She goes through their wedding album on camera, describing family members as "bad" or "evil" or "nasty," and talks about how her husband is allegedly trying to evict her from their luxury apartment. She also makes embarrassing claims regarding their intimate life, and then calls his office on camera to repeat those claims to a stunned assistant.
Famed divorce attorney Raoul Felder, called for comment on the video, termed the whole thing "funny, but there's also sadness. This is a victim who is holding her head up. I think she comes off well."
Then again, Felder allowed that he is now representing Walsh-Smith -- though he wasn't when she made the YouTube video.
As for Smith, his office said he had no comment and his lawyers said they didn't, either -- "other than that we're kind of appalled."
"I don't think it's the kind of thing people should be doing, and it's the kind of thing judges frown upon," said Norman Sheresky, a partner in the matrimonial law firm Sheresky Aronson Mayesfsky & Sloan, which Walsh-Smith mentions in her video. Asked if he had ever seen a spouse use YouTube to fire a salvo in a divorce battle, Sherefsky replied, "Jamais de la vie." (Translation: Never.)
Felder explained that his client was "acting out of passion." He also called the prenuptial agreement she'd signed with her husband, who is a quarter-century older than her, "stupid."
Hmmmm....much older wealthy man.... wackjob younger wife....holy carp on a platter.... how long until the Dread Pirate Heather Mills discovers the joys of making a total and complete arse of oneself on YouTube and we get to hear her high pitched whines in a viral video???
"Bee-ah-trisss can nawt pos'bly be expected to survive on only one million pounds a year"
Money makes the world go around The world go around The world go around Money makes the world go around It makes the world go 'round.
A mark, a yen, a buck, or a pound A buck or a pound A buck or a pound Is all that makes the world go around, That clinking clanking sound Can make the world go 'round.
Wow, do you feel the earth quaking? It is emanating from Clearwater, Florida....the COS headquarters to be more precise. Holy carp---this is a biggie. One of the Scientology celebs has not only broken with the group, he is telling it like it is. Given the long history of people who criticize scientokooks and then suddenly turn up dead from various "accidents" or strange "suicides" (link), what Jason Beghe is doing is brave and very dangerous.
Ruggedly handsome actor Jason Beghe was best man at the wedding of "X Files" star David Duchovny (his childhood pal) and actress Tea Leoni. In 1998, he starred as Demi Moore’s love interest in "G.I. Jane." He’s been featured in numerous TV dramas such as "Criminal Minds," "Numb3rs" and "CSI."
In 2005, Beghe appeared in promotional spots for the Church of Scientology.
But now Beghe has escaped the church after taking courses since 1994. He’s made a video that’s up on YouTube.
This is what he has to say: "Scientology is destructive and a rip-off."
He also says: "It’s very, very dangerous for your spiritual, psychological, mental, emotional health and evolution. I think it stunts your evolution. If Scientology is real, then something’s f——ed up."
You can see from the video that Beghe does not mince words. But his refreshing candor about the religion he joined in 1994 should shake the Celebrity Center to its core.
"It ain’t deliverin’ what it’s promised. It sure has not."
The video is billed as a three-minute teaser to a longer interview with Beghe that’s on its way. But the short video packs a powerful punch. Beghe still uses a lot of Scientology lingo like "OT" and "clear." Still, it’s quite easy to understand the point he’s making. After 14 years and a tremendous amount of money, he’s seeing Scientology in a different light.
Beghe has completed so many courses that he’s considered a top Scientologist, or "OT 5" — similar to Tom Cruise, John Travolta and Kirstie Alley. But Beghe reveals: "The further up the bridge, the worse you get."
He adds: "I don’t have an agenda. I’m just trying to help. I have the luxury of having gotten into Scientology and after having been in it, been out. And that’s a perspective that people who are still in and not out do not have."
Close friends of Richie Sambora’s are distraught over the idea that the Bon Jovi guitarist might be facing a child endangerment charge in addition to a DUI charge stemming from his March 25 arrest.
People magazine reported that according to a source close to the case, police have indeed recommended both charges to prosecutors. While the district attorney’s office cannot comment on the case for now, one Sambora pal is worried about how the rocker will feel if the charges come through. (An arraignment is set for May 7.)
“Ava means the world to him. Richie has such a good heart, he really does. He might appear like the most easy-going guy, but there’s a lot he’s struggling with right now. We’re worried about him.”
Sambora was arrested in Laguna Beach last month after police spotted him driving erratically. Sambora’s 10-year-old daughter, Ava, was in the car, as was a teenage cousin of hers.
From everything I have read about Richie he is a really nice man, but good intentions can't cover a ton of sheyat. His good heart and intentions would have done diddly squat if he plowed into a tree while driving drunk and had killed his daughter and her cousin. "Sorry" just is not good enough in this case; and worrying "how he will feel" if charged should be the least of everyone's concerns. He needs to have his arse hauled to jail for a while, but I am sure a country club style "celebrity detox" will be considered sufficient punishment.... And Heather Locklear has been strangely silent about this whole incident. If the Divo had ever pulled this type of stunt you could bet the farm that I would have cut his manberries off with a rusty, dull, butter knife, created a new hole in his body to defecate out of, and then called a press conference wearing said manberries as earrings.
Madonna's husband Guy Ritchie went on the Cookie Diet ... and stopped wanting to have sex with her as a result, she told a Phoenix radio show recently.
"My husband went on that Cookie Diet, and it was such a turn-off because he didn't want to have sex," she told "The Johnjay and Rich Show."
The 800-calorie-a-day diet — reportedly tried by Kelly Clarkson and Jennifer Hudson — did help Richie drop the pounds.
"He did lose weight, but he didn't really need to lose that much weight. I think he did it because all his friends were doing it and he wanted to see if he could do it."
Sanford Siegal, the doctor who created the Cookie Diet way back in 1975, responded Monday to Madonna's comments, saying that he has "treated more than 500,000 patients" and he "can't recall any of them reporting a similar effect on their sexual appetite."
He added, "In the case of my cookies, they taste good enough but I can't imagine anyone preferring them to sex."
LOL... Madge, sweetie....when your man does not want sex it usually has nothing to do with his eating cookies. An aversion to faux British accents perhaps....but cookies? I. don't. think. so.
Bobby Brown is claiming in his new autobiography that he never used cocaine until after he met ex-wife Whitney Houston, suggesting the singer drove him into his drug addiction. In the promotional materials for the book Brown also claims to have dated singer Madonna and "scored" with Janet Jackson, and slept with "thousands of women." "I've always been known to be a pretty good lover. The word on the street is that I’m well-endowed, if that means anything. Does it, ladies?" he is reportedly quoted as saying in the book.
Excuse me while I projectile vomit.....Oh my friggin gawd...we now have the black version of Gene Simmons, fug-mug and all....two losers who consider themselves to be the McDonald's of ugly men everyone.....bumping uglies with billions of women.
And yeah Bobby, I can totally buy that Whitney slammed your arse to the ground and jammed that coke spoon up your nose...and you fought and fought but she was sooooo much stronger than you...after all you had a spotless reputation before big bad Whitney corrupted your virginal soul.
"I think we got married for all the wrong reasons. Now, I realize Whitney had a different agenda than I did when we got married... I believe her agenda was to clean up her image, while mine was to be loved and have children."
He said Houston had been under pressure to get married and have children after she was accused in the media of having a bisexual relationship with Robin Crawford, her assistant.
Brown, 39, admitted he was unfaithful to Houston during the marriage, adding: "I'm only human so I would make the mistake and bite the hook sometimes".
Gee Bobby I hope you stepped outta the way before throwing your ex under the bus like that. I am sure the fact that she left you and is trying to clean herself up has nothing to to do with what you wrote...and that you are just saying this out of the goodness of your pure little heart.
Dancing With The Stars Update
Dancing with the Stars provided the Diva her belly laugh of the week when one of the judges complimented Priscilla Presley on her facial expressions...wtf? Mount Rushmore is more animated.
The viewers pulled a Jack Kevorkian and mercifully pulled the plug on Adam Carola....thank heavens...
Come on Tiny Tom, lighten the hell up. This is some seriously funny sheyat:
Medical high jinks leave Tom Cruise camp fuming Daily News 4/20/2008 Rush & Molloy
Tom Cruise isn't getting any giggles from a new strain of medical marijuana being marketed as "Tom Cruise Purple."
Word is that the actor's lawyers are taking a serious look at the strong brand of bud after we brought it to their attention. One of Cruise's friends found it "outrageous" that licensed cannabis clubs in Northern California are selling vials of pot featuring a picture of Cruise laughing hysterically.
Like other followers of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, Cruise is opposed to the use of psychotropic drugs.
Staffers at several California clinics we called said they were forbidden to discuss any of the herbal varieties in their "inventory."
But one weed devotee said, "I heard it's the kind of pot that makes you hallucinate."
órale carnal, ese vato Tom es loco!
This unfortunately is NOT funny:
Meanwhile, a woman who has been identified as Cruise's former alternative-medicine consultant is due to stand trial in L.A. Superior Court on April 17. A spokesman for the L.A. City Attorney's office tells us Feline Butcher - aka Feline Kondula - has been charged with 18 counts of unlawfully practicing medicine and one count of grand theft. The charges stem from Butcher's treatment of Clive McLean, a cancer patient who died in 2005.
McLean's widow, Erica McLean, tells us that Butcher, who's a Scientologist, and another unlicensed practitioner encouraged her husband to abandon chemotherapy in favor of a regimen of "vitamins and 'magic drops.'"
Erica McLean, who was assisted by private investigator Paul Barresi, claims that the couple paid close to $120,000 on useless treatments.
Butcher has pleaded not guilty.
Additionally, Cruise is the unwitting star of a new spoof video in which he's seen cavorting with the bouncing head of Hubbard and dancing Scientologists like Kirstie Alley, Beck and John Travolta.
The video - which you can find at http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/scientolulz - mocks the controversial church's war with Internet critics, who've come to be known as Anonymous.
(The Diva has provided it for your viewing below...now that is service!)
A representative for Cruise declined to comment on the video and the "purple" pot, but insisted that Butcher "was not his adviser. He has nothing to do with her."
Sure.... he has nothing to do with her...NOW... after throwing her under that Xenu bus with any other scientokook who fails make the Thetan grade.
Well one thing is for sure, his contracted womb, I mean wife, does not smoke the loco weed. It is kind of hard to be a serious lollipop head if you have the munchies all the time. The rapidly disappearing Catatonic Kate has decided that eating is against her religion...or hubby's preference...or sumthin'
The photos that first revealed a friendship between Katie Holmes and Victoria Beckham left people scratching their heads at what the two could possibly have in common. If, two years later, the answer still isn’t clear, look no further than the current issue of Life & Style, which claims the friends share an affinity for splitting low-calorie meals meant for one.
The magazine reports that during a recent outing to Madeo, the duo shared a green salad sans dressing, one piece of fish and one side of steamed spinach. They also ordered one regular Coke and two glasses of ice.
“Katie poured half the soda into each of their glasses, then filled up the rest with bottled water,” a Madeo regular told the magazine.
My idea of splitting a meal is to invite the Aging Bingo Princess over to share a case of champagne (two glasses) and a crate of Godiva Chocolates....
Poor, poor Naomi.... why won't anyone cut her some slack? The poor thing has Carpal Tunnel Syndrome from constantly beyotch slapping her minions so what else could she do to let her displeasure be known?
After a baggage debacle that ended with the police being called, it seems supermodel Naomi Campbell spat at police.
People magazine is reporting that Campbell was arrested on Thursday at the Heathrow Airport in London. It seemed the disturbance started when the model arrived at the airport, checked her bags and (she claims) she was told she had made it in plenty of time and the bags would be on her flight. However, when one of her bags went missing, British Airways decided that she should leave the flight and called the police to remove her by force.
Another source says that she was rude and obnoxious and when the airline refused to let her in the VIP lounge because of her behavior, she just became angrier. It all culminated when she tried to take two large carry-on bags onto her flight and wouldn’t check one when asked. The source goes on to tell People, “The aircrew had to call police. She threw a few things around the cabin and then spat at the cops.”
A police officer confirmed the story by saying, “They tried to calm her but she lashed out at the cops, too. The last straw was spitting.”
Campbell was released from jail early this morning.
Gratuitous Eva Mendes Friday
Ok. Last Friday the Diva's picture of Eva was deemed offensive (Poor CoCo did not get his Eva fix last week) So I think I have remedied the situation.
1) I have included the standard "If you are a prude or stupid please do not read this blog" disclaimer at the bottom of the blog
2) I have found a picture that does not show any part of Eva's butt crack
So...... without further ado:
The Diva is 100% straight as-an-arrow into male divos, but dee-am...the woman has a mighty bodacious set of tatas, doesn't she?
The Aging Disco Diva is heartbroken. I can't even bring myself to talk about Friday night's Kansas State men's basketball game...so I won't (It's my blog and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to....") In fact I ain't even going to supply a link....if you are that darn interested in my pain, then f'n Google it yourself. Sigh...I am drinking the Irish Creme right out of the bottle, why waste time pouring it into a glass?
Gossip News
Evidently K-Fed is in negotiations to appear in a Broadway play...he wants to share his...um... talent with the masses on the Great White Way.
Umm....OK..... Umm.....gotta be better than his rap album....right??
Usmagazine.com is saying Britney Spears's ex-husband, Kevin Federline, may make his Broadway debut in the musical Legally Blonde. A source tells Us that Federline may play a trio of roles, including a UPS delivery guy "This is his chance to show the world what he can do," the source said.
That got me to thinking...how can I pass on my oh so damned fabulous talents to the world? Since academia already pays for my Godiva Chocolate and champagne expenses it just makes sense to remain in the education world...perhaps a Harvard or Yale professorship might suit the Diva.
I began compiling a list of those college courses I was highly qualified to teach :
"Getting the Most Out of Your Flying Monkeys" (College of Education -- Administrators Certificate Prerequisite)
"Snarkiness as a Valid Art Form" (Mass Communications Degree Prerequisite)
"Feminism, Hotpants and Platform Shoes: An Interesting Dichotomy" (Woman's Studies)
"Bay City Roller Fashion: A Sign of the Coming Apocalypse?" (Department of Political Science---Graduate Credit Only)
But let's face it, the Diva has always had visions of grandeur (humbly starting with becoming Queen of the Whole F'n Universe) I can't see myself limited to controlling a single university....thankfully I think I have found a whole friggin' country that desperately needs my domination...I mean, guidance and intense instruction:
Yes, this is real.....gives a whole new meaning to "Reality TV" Damn, those wacky and rhythmically challenged Fins NEED my fabulousness to save them and to guide the way for the next Finnish dance craze: The Moon Walk.
