Cruise? You're Kidding... Not much of a Disguise

Today's Gossip News

Tom news:


He's From That Planet

Considering all the speculation that surrounded the casting of the upcoming “Star Trek” movie, it wouldn’t seem like a stretch to think that Tom Cruise might be one more late addition to the roster.

“Tom visited the set of the movie and chatted with J.J. Abrams,” a source close to the actor said. The last time Cruise was spotted on a set for a movie he wasn’t said to be signed on for — “Tropic Thunder” — it turned out he had a small role. Unfortunately for Cruise fans, the visit to the “Star Trek” set was just a social call — Cruise and Abrams are friends, and apparently, Cruise is a fan of the television series and in particular, Mr. Spock.

Elle: Hey, Jay! Zed called. The high consulate from Solaxiant 9 wants floor seats for the next Bulls game.
Jay: All right, let's put in a call to Dennis Rodman. He's from that planet.
Elle: Rodman? You're kidding.
Jay: Nope.
Elle: Not much of a disguise.


The Village People vs. Tom Cruise...In the Navy?




This clip is poking fun at the secret video that was leaked this month of the bizarre ship-side birthday bash the Scientokooks threw for Tiny Tom in 2004.

Secret Video: The Scientologists Celebrate The Birthday Of The Prophet, Tom Cruise

Andrew Morton wrote in his best-selling biography of Tom Cruise that the Hollywood star was prominent in the hierarchy of the Church of Scientology. Of all of the author's claims, that was the one that most enraged the sect: "Insinuations that Mr. Cruise is second-in-command of the Church are not only false, they are ludicrous," the Scientologists maintained. "He is neither 2nd or 100th. Mr. Cruise is a Scientology parishioner and holds no official or unofficial position in the Church hierarchy. Claims to the contrary are offensive to both Mr. Cruise and the Church." But if Cruise was merely a humble parishioner, why in Xenu's name did the sect spend six figures to celebrate his birthday in 2004? In a video obtained by Gawker, watch Scientology chief David Miscavige lead the sect's most famous follower into an extravagant celebration of the Hollywood star on Scientology cruise ship, Freewinds. Cruise's entrance is, of course, to the theme music from Top Gun, one of the movies for which the actor is best known, or was, until he took up his new role as evangelist for the bizarre Church. After the movie clips are played, and the bands perform, Cruise exclaims: "This is incredible... It's the best birthday ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, and I mean ever!"

And you knew it was just a matter of time before the big screen got caught up with all the fun on YouTube:


Tom Cruise Spoofed In Superhero Movie

Producers of the film Superhero Movie, out today, released clips from the film on the Internet parodying a Church of Scientology promotional video featuring Scientologist Tom Cruise.

Superhero Movie is written and directed by Scott Mazin, director of the 2000 comedy about superheroes The Specials. The film stars Drake Bell, Sara Paxton, Christopher McDonald, Pamela Anderson, Tracy Morgan, Regina Hall, Craig Bierko, Simon Rex, Leslie Nielsen, Marion Ross, Kevin Hart, Jeffrey Tambor, Ryan Hansen, Brent Spiner and Keith David.

Drake Bell plays Rick Riker, a young man figuring out how to use his superpowers. The film parodies blockbuster superhero movies including Spider-Man, Batman, X-Men, and Fantastic Four.

In the original Scientology video, Cruise discusses his faith and his opinion on what it means to be a Scientologist, while the theme music from his Mission: Impossible series of films plays in the background. The video, which was not intended for public distribution outside of the Church of Scientology, is nine minutes long and contains heavy use of Scientology terminology. The video appeared on YouTube January 15, two days before the release of a biography on Cruise by Andrew Morton: Tom Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography.

The Church of Scientology sent legal letters to YouTube and to Gawker.com, sites which were hosting the Cruise video at the time, and requested that they take it down. YouTube complied, but Gawker.com did not, and Nick Denton of Gawker.com commented: "It's newsworthy, and we will not be removing it." The video later appeared on websites other than Gawker.com, including the New York Post, Independent Television News and the BBC

Attempts by the Church of Scientology to remove the video from the Internet motivated an Internet-based group known as "Anonymous" to take action in a movement called Project Chanology. Members of Anonymous bombarded Scientology websites and were successful in taking some of them down, including Scientology.org. Anonymous later changed tactics towards legal measures, and held international protests against Scientology on February 10 and March 15, with another international protest planned for April 12.

According to Scientology critic David S. Touretzky, the Scientology terms used in the video by Cruise have "entered the national lexicon", and the Scientology video itself has become something of an Internet phenomenon. Touretzky also referred to the negative effect on Cruise's publicity as a consequence of the leak.

In the excerpt released online from Superhero Movie, actor Miles Fisher imitates Cruise in what Liz Shannon Miller of NewTeeVee described as "an eerily dead-on impersonation of Cruise’s infamous leaked Scientology indoctrination video". She also compared the clip to a different spoof of the Cruise video, by actor Jerry O'Connell. Craig Ferguson also spoofed the video in a clip on his show on CBS, The Late Late Show, as did the comedy website Super Deluxe.

Technorati Tags: tom cruise, star trek, jj abrams, mr spock, birthday party, andrew morton, superhero movie, miles fisher

Neanderthal Man

My rant for today….

Why is it that some people feel the need to go out of their way to show the world just how big of an A-hole they can be?

You would think that a walking, talking anus's (or would that be ani?) would try to downplay the fact that verbal excrement is what spews out of their mouths, but no…they want to make sure that everyone is aware of this fact.

Heath Ledger has died, regardless of how he died, what caused his death, etc., he is dead and a little girl has lost her daddy. Rather than having an ounce of civility we have some cretins who jump on the chance to be attention whores “Look at me! Look at me!” and commence with the verbal diarrhea. All I can say to them is STFU, please.

Here is what is causing the Aging Disco Diva to flip her polyester, neon-orange wig:

Nice, huh? I bet Fox News radio is really proud John Gibson. What a gem of a human being.

Some pinhead named the Ultimate Warrior weighed in on the subject by writing "His (Heath Ledger) kid is without a father, yes, but the negative influence is now removed and his own child has the chance for a full recovery."

Be sure your tetanus shots are updated before going to this idiot's website

I don’t know who the hell this guy is, never heard of the forker, evidently I don’t fit his key demographic of unemployed burger flippers, living in their parent’s basement, having seven teeth and half a brain in their heads. I am guessing by this picture that the steroids that shrinks men’s peters to about 1” must have wiped out the three remaining brain cells he had.

Shee-yat, he is so fuggly he makes Gene Simmons, in his Kiss make-up, look good…

Well, now that I am good and fired up, it is time to call the book club to order:



Chapter three

Tom had big dreams; he wanted to be a self-made millionaire by the age of 30 and even had a standing bet (that he never made good on) with his good friend: the first to earn a million dollars would buy the other a Mercedes (the other guy is still waiting) He would give himself ten years to become a successful actor, if he could not make it he would train as an pilot.

Every day Tom would take the bus from Glen Ridge to the City (NYC) to make the rounds of casting calls. Of course, just as in the case of his recollection of his school years, we have a disconnect with what Tom says he experienced and with what everyone else in his life remembers him experiencing. His recount is complete with lurid tales of being so poor that he had to walk (probably barefoot in the snow, uphill—both ways) to the Holland Tunnel where he would thumb for rides along with the prostitutes who “serviced” the commuters between New York and New Jersey. He claims that they would tell him that he could hitch a ride while they pick up johns…yeah…right. I am so sure that those tough New York hos (Think the anti-pretty woman kind of ladies of the evening) would invite this geeky white bread suburbia poster boy along for a ride. His girlfriend remembers it a bit differently “Tom borrowed his mother’s car” I guess a story of using mommy’s car is not as good as a story of hitching rides with crack whores.

Tired of borrowing mom’s car and commuting he borrowed $850 bucks from step-dad and rented an apartment on the Upper West Side. Again we have Tom’s version of what transpired which included nearly starving and living on hot dogs and rice…ironic because he went home every weekend and pigged out on home cooking.

Career-wise things were going well. He had “it” and was literally an overnight hit. He was cast in commercials and snagged small role in the movie “Endless Love” which was followed by the part of David Shawn in “Taps” where he meet fellow cast members Sean Penn and Timothy Hutton. The three young actors became close friends.

This also marked some big changes in Tom’s life. He fired Tobe Gibson, the woman who was like a second mother, who had lovingly guiding her protégée to success. She found out she was fired when she received a telegram from Cruise that read “Your services are no longer required” He also dumped his long time girlfriend “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” He replaced his high school sweetheart with Melissa Gilbert (“Little House on the Prairie”)

He moved to Hollywood and became part of the “Brat Pack” Some of his hometown friends were less than impressed with Tom’s new friends, finding Sean Penn to be an obnoxious SOB asshole (some things never change, eh?) and not caring for the “new” Tom whom they characterized as now being “insufferable, arrogant, utterly self-absorbed and unapproachable” His sister Cass confessed that during this time she felt that “Tom had gotten too cocky” and “hard to be around” Tom hired Paula Wagner as his agent and signed a contract to star in the movie “Losin’ It” (yeah, I never heard of it either) It was a flop, but the fact that it was largely ignored, while “Taps” was a box office success lessened it’s impact on Tom’s career.

Next came the plumb role of Steve Randle in “The Outsiders” directed by Francis Ford Coppola. The ensemble cast included Matt Dillon, Patrick Swayze, Ralph Macchio, Diane Lane Emilio Estevez, Rob Lowe and C. Thomas Howell. Tom did a great job as one of the “Greasers”

This was followed by the role that made Tom Cruise a star: Joel Goodsen in “Risky Business”

He apparently was a PITA on the set, and other cast members do not think of him too kindly, even to this day. He tried to get Rebecca De Morney fired, but the producer, Steve Tisch, ignored his complaints. His opinion of her acting must have changed because they became involved during the filming of the movie. The movie catapulted his career and cemented his image as a teen hottie.

Chapter three summary (on a score of 0 to 4 cups of espresso)

Overall interest: (3 out of 4 cups)

Juicy gossip: (2 out of 4 cups)

Believability of facts presented: (4 out of 4 cups)

Shame, Shame, Shame

If it’s Wednesday, it has to be a bat-shit crazy Britney day….

Well today was another court date so Britwreck pushed her latest boy-toy aside, dragged her arse out of bed, pulled on her least grease stained dress and headed to the court house….according to media reports she got there, entered the building, but evidently never made it to the court room. Probably too confusing with all those rooms and signs with cryptic things written on them like “Room 1” or “Courtroom A” and stuff like that…someone needed to help the poor thing out and leave a trail of Cheetos and Red Bull cans for her to follow...or put a sign on the courtroom door that read "24 hour Gas Station: Eat and Get Gas Here" Better yet, leave an open bag of spicy pork rinds in the middle of a hall and when she swoops down to claim her prize, shoot a tranquilizer dart into her butt, throw a butterfly net over her and drag her nutty ass to a hospital. It is reported that she headed home after wandering around the court building aimlessly; here is a photo her boy-toy took of her naked and spread eagle on the coach:

Wildcat News

Time to start pouring the adult beverages, the Wildcats play tonight:

“Kansas State (12-4, 2-0 Big 12) continues its travels around the Big 12 on Wednesday, as the Wildcats hit the road to face Colorado (9-8, 1-2 Big 12) at the Coors Events Center at 8 p.m. It will mark just the second road game of the season for the young Wildcats, who opened league play with an 84-82 victory at Oklahoma on Jan. 12.

Wednesday’s contest will be televised nationally on ESPNU with Dave Armstrong (play-by-play) and Doug Gottlieb (analyst) calling the action. It will be the eighth of a school-record 13 appearances on national television for the Wildcats, including the fourth on ESPNU. The team is 2-1 on ESPNU this season, beating UCF (73-71) and Rider (82-69) on Nov. 22 and 23 on the network at the Old Spice Classic before falling in Cincinnati to Xavier (103-77) on Dec. 31.

The game will be broadcast on the 31-station K-State Sports Network (Powercat Passport Internet Audio; Yahoo! Internet Radio) with Wyatt Thompson (play-by-play) and Stan Weber (analyst) behind the mikes. Fans can also listen to the game on Sirius Satellite 114.

Kansas State is off to its best start in conference play in 15 seasons since opening Big Eight play with a 2-0 record in 1992-93. Overall, it marks the 25th time in school history that the Wildcats have started league play at least 2-0. Interestingly enough, the squad has made the journey to Boulder five other times (1951-52, 1959-60, 1968-69, 1969-70 and 1976-77) with an unblemished league mark and has come home with their first defeat. In fact, only Nebraska with six wins has beaten more undefeated K-State squads. The Wildcats have not started 3-0 in league play since they posted a 25-9 overall record and made their magical trip to the NCAA Elite Eight in 1987-88.”

Kansas State Sports Webpage

Just a reminder that tomorrow will be our next book club meeting, discussing chapter 3 of the Unauthorized Tom Cruise biography. As is the norm, it is strictly a BYO Irish coffee affair, high calorie, artery clogging, pastries are always welcomed.

The Aging Disco Diva already has her next juicy book picked out: “Send Yourself Roses: Thoughts on My Life, Love, and Leading Roles” by Kathleen Turner, another of the great ballsy broads in this world I admire.

Here is an article with some excerpts:

This looks to be a good read!

The book will be released next month.

Three hours to tip off, just enough time to whip up a batch of Purple Passion drinks and don my K-State attire.

Go Cats!!

Overture From Tommy (A Rock Opera)

I did get a few minutes late last night to read the first chapter of “Tom Cruise: The Unauthorized Biography” and as promised, I will share with you a recap and my reactions. But first….this is so friggin’ hysterical you just have to watch it:
*********************

*********************

Seriously, that was some funny sheeyat.

On a related note: I lust Anderson Cooper, not only could he eat crackers in my bed, I would tenderly feed them to him…one…by…one. Yes, yes I know—the prevailing wisdom is that he plays for the same team, but an Aging Disco Diva can dream can’t she? Anyway, here is Anderson interviewing a scientoKook about the “church’s” stand on psychiatry:

Go Anderson Go! (click here)

Some of today’s gossip stories:


Eddie Murphy and his sorta’ bride have decided to sorta’ divorce. Yeah, it makes no sense but neither does the sorta’ wedding they had two weeks ago in Bora Bora. They did release this statement to the press:

"While the recent symbolic union in Bora Bora was representative of our deep love, friendship and respect that we have for one another on a spiritual level, we have decided to remain friends,"

Possible translation: She finally left the land called “Denial,” got a good look around and realized Eddie has some um..issues.

Britney is not pregnant. Yeah, I know, I saw the pictures too, but I am NOT going to post them. Just how friggin crass is this girl? Please Britney, next time use maxi-pads with wings…and keep your damn coochie covered with pants. Yuck, yuck and more yuck.

Ok, time for our book club meeting to come to order. Pour yourself a cup of coffee and help yourself to one of those fresh pastries...no, not the cream cheese one, that one is mine...

First things first…how bizarre to see in large print on the back cover “Not for sale in the U.K. and Ireland” Oh well, I am SURE that will stop anyone in those countries from getting a hold of a copy because we don’t have anything called the INTERNET. News flash for the scientoKooks who think that this will stop people there from getting a hold of a copy: I betcha' money, marbles or chocolate that as I type this somewhere, someone, is furiously photocopying each and every page and will convert it to .pdf format, soon to be posted on a torrent or newsgroup.

Chapter one recap and comments:

Who knew? The Aging Disco Diva and Tom had something in common: native born New Yorkers. Thomas Cruise Mapother IV (“I'm Tommery the 4th I am, Tommery the 4th I am, I am,) was born on July 3, 1962 in Syracuse New York. The family name is not really Mapother, but instead was O’Mara. Thomas O’Mara’s (Tom Cruise’s great-grandfather) name was changed, sometime during his childhood, to Thomas Cruise Mapother. Mapother had been his mother’s first married last name (she was widowed) Cruise had been his mother’s maiden name. His father was Thomas O’Mara. This Kentucky based clan was Irish-American. The first Thomas Cruise Mapother was a lawyer as was Thomas Cruise Mapother Jr. Thomas Cruise Mapother III was an electrical engineer and somewhat of a cold duck (and not the bubbly kind) Tom Cruise’s mom, Mary Lee Pfeiffer, was also Irish-American from Kentucky. Tom was (is) very close to his mother. His mother loved the theater and encouraged her children to dabble in the performing arts. Tom showed a real gift for acting at a young age.

Tom is dyslexic and this learning challenge seems to have really impacted his feelings of self-worth. As the child and mother of a dyslexic I could empathize with his frustrations but wondered how much this twisted his life view. I am not sure if as an adult he purposefully created stories of how ill treated he was by teachers or genuinely believed what he might have imagined. He recounts a story of his first grade teacher hurling him over a chair because he was having problems reading. I can’t see this happening, not without everyone finding out about it (his first grade classmates certainly would have told plenty of people ) Tom claims this happened throughout his school years and certainly explains his rants about the American education system and why he would buy into the “us against the world” shtick Scientology seems founded upon. He claimed that his teachers forced him to write with his right hand and that added to his learning problems. Years later some of his teachers called B.S. on this story—especially his left-handed teachers! By the age of twelve Tom was doing so well in school that he was no longer taking any remedial or special courses.

Tom was bullied in school and apparently at home too. Schoolmates picked on him because he was so small…and his father picked on him because he (the father) was a cold S.O.B. The father was bullied too as a child and in a twisted kind of logic decided that he would bully his son in an effort to save him from being bullied (a real WTF?)

I found it amusing that the author of the book went to great lengths to portray Tom as a hot blooded heterosexual in light of all the gossip that surrounds Tom Cruise. If the writer had an ax to grind or was interested in making stuff up (as the scientoKooks are claiming) you would think he would have jumped on the “Tom is gay” bandwagon, but instead we get stories that seem to paint Tom as a girl chasing, horny preteen and teenage boy.

Tom was not a choir boy, pulling the usual “all boy” types of pranks but things turned more serious when his parent’s marriage crumbled. His dad appeared to be a real wackadoo, a closet drinker who was becoming more and more antisocial and cruel. Tom was the lightening rod of his father’s foul moods and this was driving a wedge between husband and wife. Finally one afternoon Tom’s mother, sisters and Tom fled the abusive home. Financially they struggled and everyone had to go out and earn money so that they could keep a roof over their heads. Tom is portrayed as a loving and protective son and brother. In 1978 Mary Lee married Jack Smith and the whole family moved to New Jersey.

Chapter One Aging Disco Diva rating (from 0 to 4 cups of espresso)

Overall interest: (3 out of 4 cups)

Juicy gossip: (1 out of 4 cups)

Believability of facts presented: (4 out of 4 cups)

Afternoon Delight

Aging Disco Divas don’t do snow…well, at least this diva doesn’t, but I was running out of coffee beans, chocolate bon-bons, Krispy Kreme doughnuts and caviar (the four major food groups) So I grumpily pulled on my Afghan fur trimmed coat and put on my platform boots (think the Olsen Twins…well perhaps four or five Olsen Twins…the Diva HAS been hitting the Godiva chocolate a bit hard since Halloween) fired up the exploding Pinto, and headed to the store.

For you young pups: Here is what an Afghan fur trimmed coat looks like. Great little coat; every disco diva owned at least one---the smell it emits when wet is a natural bug repellent--eau de wet dog...but I digress....

Well, anyway….as I was tottering towards the coffee isle I did see Andrew Morton’s Unauthorized Tom Cruise biography on sale so I grabbed a copy; as I said in an earlier posting, I have been dying to get a hold of this....any book that is causing 8 million foil hat wearing adherents to be walking around since Tuesday with their panties in a wad is definitely something I want to own.

Now that I have restocked my coffee and chocolate supplies I will be ready to tackle reading this later on tonight….AFTER my beloved “Ugly Betty” of course. I will be providing chapter recaps and critiques so be sure to grab a cup of latte every day and come visit with me.

More videos of Tiny Tom’s oddness are surfacing every day…and of course his minions are doing everything they can to pull them off the Internet as quickly as they can…which is causing more and more people to either put the videos on their websites, or like I am going to do, give the links where you can go check them out yourself:

Wow, does not begin to explain it

The video, third down from the top, where he gives his opinions on the American education system and how psychiatry is to blame for everything bad going on in today’s classrooms (and society) is good for a few chuckles….the aging disco diva was a classroom teacher for years and years and it was enlightening to find out that some of my students (a small handful--that unfortunately seemed to get a bit bigger each year) who were dumb as a box of rocks and obnoxious as all hell, were not to be blamed for being slugs without a shell and a waste of oxygen—it was all Sigmund Freud’s fault.

Now here is a perfect case in point: it appears that the L. Ron Hubbard gospel, according to Tommy, preaches that this kid is not responsible for being a total and complete dip wad.... because somewhere a shrink is to blame, LOL. Betcha can't watch this without having to fight the urge to find this snot-nosed kid and slapping the ever loving sheeyat out of him.

****************


****************

Thank you Tom for explaining all of society's ills and its cure so clearly (cue in the Twilight Zone theme song again)

We did find out that Ike Turner (the malevolent half of “Ike and Tina Turner”) died of a cocaine overdose at the age of 76…. Proof positive that you are never too old. Now my momma always said that we should not speak ill of the dead… so I guess I will leave refrain from sharing any of the snarky things on the tip of my tongue.

Well our day could not be complete without at least a brief Britney mention. It seems that two days ago she and her boy-toy of the day were shopping for at home pregnancy tests….can I get a “WTF” from the congregation? Just the thought makes ya head spin (and hurt) Where is Bob Barker? The girl needs to get spayed….now...and is she capable of doing ANY friggin' thing without giving us a coochie or bun shot? Dang girl, cover....it....up

Time to grab another coffee and some more bon bons...

The Twilight Zone

This promises to be one of those weeks where you will constantly hear the theme from the “Twilight Zone” playing softly in the background…..

When I turn on CNN this afternoon what do I see? War in the Middle East, the economy sucks, presidential primaries, researchers at the University of Minnesota were able to create a beating heart in a lab, big snow storm hit the east coast? No…live video of Britney Spears finally getting her arse out of bed and heading, hours late, to the hearing to determine whether or not she should get custody of her kids.

You must admit...she puts on a great show. I loved her sense of fashion decorum…. What to wear when you want to show the world that you are a responsible mother?? Why, a lace see-through, mini, cootchie showing, oh-so-not-virginal white dress complete with mile high “F-me” shoes of course!

Contrast this to what Catatonic Katie wore this morning to her Good Morning America interview:

Now, I am not a big fan of the “Let’s look like we are a matronly sixty year old socialite” look, but ya’ gotta admit it wouldn’t have hurt Britney to adopt the look---even for a little while today….hell, Brit, you and your married boy-toy of the week could have gone home and played “Librarian and the book collector” later on (Librarian, Britney…library, hon…you know the place with all those books…no dear, not THOSE kind of books—that is called an adult book store…never mind….)

Well , the Circus that is called Britney continued all afternoon. Would she show up? Would she be able to walk in those ridiculous shoes? Would she flash her nether regions at the paps for the millionth time this week? Would she testify on her behalf (Honestly you’all…it was not what it seemed, ya know…I wasn’t having a meltdown…it was all just a misunderstanding….I wanted a ice frappuccino and just ya’ know, got upset when I began jonseing for one…I wasn’t having a breakdown, I just needed my frap, ya’ know?)

Anyway, I bet Tiny Tom is hoping that the Britney du Soleil continues all week and attention is taken from the publication of Tom Cruise: an Unauthorized Biography slated for tomorrow here in the US. Dish, dish and more dish. The mother ship and its inhabitants are said to be beside themselves with fury. Here are some interesting blurbs about the book:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/10/books/10masl.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Cruise:_An_Unauthorized_Biography

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,320519,00.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/showbiznews.html?in_article_id=506359&in_page_id=1773&ct=5

http://www.dispatch.com/live/content/life/stories/2008/01/11/2_CRUISE_BOOK_REVIEW.ART_ART_01-11-08_D4_5M9197H.html?sid=101

I must admit The Aging Disco Diva is looking forward to reading this book...and to what the rest of this week has in store for the Twilight Zone