She Was Rode Hard and Put Away Wet

My word....

You'all know that the Diva loved to feature our favorite Southern Train Wreck in her blog entries a few years back: the umbrella attacks, the crotch shots, the head shavings, the umbrella shavings, crotch attacks and head shots, etc. Then we found out that Britney Spears wasn't nuts, she was mentally ill, and the Aging Disco Diva decided to pick on other nucking futs celebrities and left Bri-Bri alone.

Well her heartless money squeezer loving father has decided she is well enough to be put on display sent out on tour to support her whole bloodsucking family bring happiness and joy to her fans.

Ok....The Aging Disco Diva is not going to question whether or not this is a despicable attempt to squeeze the last drop of milk outta' the fading-fast family cash cow, or a loving attempt to help her on the road to recovery. I will leave that to my Tuesday morning Cawfee Tawk with the Aging Bingo Princess.

I am going to question whether or not the costume designer for her tour is legally and/or artistically blind, or if he/she had only previously been the set designer for the Bulgarian porn industry. I mean... really... seriously... black pasties over silver sequined leotards????... soooooo last year. The Diva already donated all of hers to the local Goodwill.

I am also going to question the sanity of subjecting two young boys, night after night, to watching mommy on stage dressed as an aging S & M lounge skank.

The golden bra with protruding spikes is a particularly lovely visual for the boys.

You can pull all the stops out
Till they call the cops out
Grind your behind till you're bend.
But you gotta get a gimmick
If you wanna get a hand.
You can sacrifice your sacharo
Working in the back row.
Bump in a dump till you're dead.
Kid you gotta have a gimmick
If you wanna get ahead.

("You gotta have a gimmick"-- from the movie"Gypsy" )

Taken directly from Britney Spears's official blog:

Contrary to rumors linked to false articles, Britney Spears' sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James, will be joining her on the entire Circus tour and will be attending shows as planned. Britney's family is a huge inspiration and she loves having them on the road with her.

Oh my....I wonder if the boys were in the audience this past Sunday when mommy let the whole world know that her... um.... um... cough... naughty bits... were hanging out of her costume. Deja vu all over again--I mean who has not seen her nether region by now? You stay classy Bri-Bri, I imagine any parent who was brain damaged enough to bring their spawn to the concert were thrilled your choice of words!

"Mommy, what did Brittany mean, what is hanging out?"

"Well Madison-Ashley... um... well honey, I guess Brittany must have brought her kitty cat to the concert and it got out"

"Where mommy? I can't see a kitty..."

"Never mind sweetie. You have an early soccer practice tomorrow, maybe we should be heading home"

"But mommy, I want to see Brittany's pussy cat!"

On a positive note: my flying monkeys just adored this outfit:

It does look vaguely familiar....

The Diva is hoping to complete her mail-order psychiatry degree before little Sean and Jayden hit the age of 12. If I can get a group session put together for Sean, Jayden, Suri, Blanket (and the other Wacko Jacko kids) and maybe one or two other nucked up celebrity spawn I will be in champagne and caviar for the next hundred years....

Frap Frenzy

A code red alert has been issued after news hit that Starbucks will be closed for three hours today. Papa Spears has made arrangements for emergency provisions and the mansion is stocked with plenty of frappuccinos for Britney. The Aging Disco Diva actually lives in a town that does not have a Starbucks (Yes, I am languishing in Java Hell) so she is glad to see the world will share her pain, if even for a few hours.

Everyone will have to do what I am forced to do: get a minion...I mean.... beloved employee, to do something called BREW A POT OF COFFEE. For the cost of a single fancy Starbucks cuppa I can buy the ingredients necessary to make enough coffee to last a week for a normal person....or half a morning for an Aging Disco Diva. Since my concoctions are 40 calories for the coffee+creamer+syrup+Splenda or 30 calories for a soy latte, I think it is best (for the sake of my ever expanding girth) that there are no Starbucks in this podunk town. Besides, I did try Starbucks twice and was very disappointed both times. In addition to being overpriced the brew was bitter--maybe I caught them both on a bad day but my flying monkeys make a much better cup of java.

Seriously Dude--- STFU, Story of the Day

It would be funny if it were not so unfunny....

Attorney John Eardley, who told The Associated Press he was the "only person who represents Britney Spears," filed documents in federal court asserting that she is being held by her father in a situation that violates her civil rights.Eardley took aim at James Spears in legal documents filed Friday.

"Mr. Spears has now moved into her house and has taken control of her financial assets, as well as her physical custody, all without the benefit of a hearing where Ms. Spears would be present," he said.


Eardley said that Spears has never been on good terms with her father and said he was "concerned for the emotional and physical safety of Britney under these circumstances."

In his motion, Eardley said Spears had "been in a form of private confinement for nearly a month. Certainly, at this point, it is likely that circumstances have changed and it is time that the conservatee be brought into court for a hearing, where the court can evaluate her in person and hear testimony directly from her."

The document suggests she be allowed to retain her own medical professionals to evaluate her condition.

"There are financial issues which involve the possible misappropriation of assets," Eardley said but did not elaborate. Asked when he last consulted with Britney Spears, Eardley said, "I talked to her a few days ago and someone wrestled the phone away from her. I've not talked to her since then."

OK...where to begin.... what part of being nuttier than a cashew roll, and therefor not able to make sound decisions nor retain legal counsel does this bat sheyat crazy barrister not understand? If you are in dire mental straits you NEED to be f'n confined. Luckily for Britney she has the means to be "confined" in a pretty cushy mansion where she is being waited on hand and foot. She is allowed out to go shopping, to go exercising and to dine out (while being closely chaperoned) If it were the Aging Disco Diva who started tripping the light fandango I would be tossed in a tiny room with urine stained pads on the floor and walls. Britney might not be very appreciative right now but I think everyone else (outside of Eardley and Sam Lufti) has to agree that she is in a much better place mentally since Daddy took the T-Bird away. Only one coochie shot and nary a head shaving all week, but she is still a long way from being able to make sane choices. Why then would this lawyer keep calling press conferences? Well:

It is getting old Mr. Eardley, go find another gravy train to try and climb aboard.

Wildcat News

Sigh....

Sorry, it is just too f'n depressing...I will always bleed purple and root for my beloved Wildcats, but this has been a rough, rough month for the KSU faithful. Not much more I can say without sobbing hysterically or banging my head into the walls.

Technorati Tags: Starbucks, Britney Spears, John Eardley, KSU, Kansas State University, Wildcats

The Cheesiest...

The Aging Disco Diva is bored. It is a really slow gossip day...sigh....no new sex video scandals, Britney showed great restraint and flashed her naughty bits only once this week and the mother ship has not come back for Tiny Tom, Catatonic Kate and the Turkey Baster Baby.

Yea, J-Lo and Skeletor spawned two kids today (a boy and a girl) but celebrity twins are so passé, LOL

When I am bored, I tend to eat...but I am getting more than a bit zaftig and need to lay off the peanut butter, banana and caviar sandwiches. Dang it though--- I AM hungry and thinking about food... hmmmm cookies... hmmm crackers... hmmm crackers and cheese... hmmmm Cheeto's... hmmmm cheesy, crispy Cheeto's... no, no!!!... I need to watch the calories....

Thinking of Cheeto's naturally led me to think about 1980s music videos...because nothing says "Cheesy" like the 1980s. So the Aging Disco Diva has come up with what she thinks are the cheesiest of the cheesy 1980s music videos. Feel free to weigh in with your cheesiest list.

And though this came out in the 1990s it makes the list anyway...

Well, watching all these made me even hungrier... so it is time to crank up the exploding Pinto, pop in an 8 track, and head to the liquor... I mean... grocery store.

Oh, before I head off into the sunset...today is Friday, which means it is "Gratuitous Eva Mendes" day and I must post this for CocoMonkey

Here you go CoCo--maybe this will take the sting out of our Wildcat's performance this past Wednesday:

Technorati Tags: Britney spears, jennifer lopez, marc anthony, twins, 1980s, music videos.

Crazy Mama

Is the Aging Disco Diva the only person left on the planet that is not in rehab/hospital/clinic? Is there are party going on in these places that I was not invited to? It would not appear to be much fun (well, not counting the Lindsey Lohan sex in the rehab toilet hijinks ) but with the exception of Britney, it seems everyone wants to be getting those monkeys off their back. Do you think it is mere coincidence that everyone is flocking to rehab during the writers strike? Hmmmmmmm

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right...here I am, stuck in the middle with you...


Pat O’Brien (again)

Warning: This clip is definitely rated R! (Pat makes a drunken phone, obscene call)

Kirsten Dunst

Scott Weiland

Eva Mendes (in but now out)

Delta Burke (attending a clinic for help with depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder and “hoarding)

Amy Winehouse

Britney

Lary Sorensen (former MLB All-Star and sports announcer)

Sean Young

Justin Chambers (help for a sleep disorder)

Well, the Aging Disco Diva is thankful that coffee, chocolate and caviar are not considered dangerous substances...or I would be in deep doodoo!

Yes, Britney is out and about again....

I am so f’n frustrated with this whole Britney crap…and I don’t even know the twit---she is neither a relative nor a friend….so how bad must it be for her parents? Granted they are to blame, to a large extent, for this out of control celebutard. When you pimp out your child to the entertainment industry and she is the major (or total) bread winner for the family it is hard to tell your meal ticket to “Shut up and behave” or even a simple “No, you can’t do that” I don’t think Britney had been told “No” very often as a child and teen star. “No” used judiciously is like a seasoning….and the lack of it results in an obnoxious, out of control, spoiled child…and eventually in a pathetic non-functioning adult. Yes, she is battling mental illness…but how do you separate the self-centered, spoiled brat who pitches a fit when she does not get her way from the illness? And OM f’n G….someone had to explain to her what “insomnia” was???? I guess we can add dumb as a brick to the whole mixture. Remove her from the entertainment industry and you have a woman whose life would revolve around a job sacking groceries (“paper or plastic?”) or wearing a hair net (“Would you like to supersize your order?") She has no survival smarts or skills, appears to be grossly uneducated, and for a lack of a better term…. is rather low class.

When I heard late last night that Britney had been released from the psyche ward I thought it was a joke…but no….there were the pictures of her out again wandering about Los Angeles being chased by vultures with cameras, visiting her favorite gas stations and 24 hour drug stores and wearing her pink wig (we have all come to recognize that when she wears that damn thing she is really in deep sheyat mentally) Her parents are understandably frustrated (see my rant above) and can’t understand why she was released from the hospital. Give my a friggin’ break UCLA Medical Center…we all know you probably dump those poor souls who can’t pay their bills, have no insurance, or who have hit their reimbursement limit, but I think Britney has enough money to foot the bill. She needs help…lots and lots of help. Did you release her because she had a temper tantrum? Are you too going to be afraid to tell this Britwreck "No"? I hope her father can get her arse back into the hospital before she accidently kills someone, or herself. The Aging Disco Diva is almost willing to bet her finest pair of Earth Shoes that this story is not going to have a happy ending.

I'm so Tired...

The Aging Disco Diva is really dragging her polyester clad butt today. I hate it when I am feeling less than great but not quite sick enough to justify lying in bed all day. The espresso transfusions are just not kicking in and I am so tired. Time to cue up the Beatles:

I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink
I'm so tired, my mind is on the blink
I wonder should I get up and fix myself a drink
No,no,no.

I usually don’t watch the Jimmy Kimmel Show during the school year but I was up late last night and had the TV on in the background while getting caught up on some paperwork. It was his anniversary show and Sarah Silverman (his girlfriend) was a guest…Sarah is definitely an acquired taste, but this skit was actually really funny and Matt Damon was hysterical. Jimmy has had a running gag for years where at the end of his show he says something to the effect that “I want to extend my apologies to Matt Damon, we ran out of time so we can’t bring him on”

Sam I am?

Sam Lufti appears to be something that crawled out from under a rock and he is working hard on upholding that image. Sam and Britney’s family are fighting over treatment and access to Britney while she is in a psych ward. Sam found the time yesterday to play nasty with Britney’s mom through the press. He passed on the following nuggets of wisdom with Access Hollywood via TEXT…yes, in a text message…

“No. Her mother is not someone who cares about her daughter, she's only concerned with herself. Sad but true. She was too busy getting a manicure to come over yesterday, despite her daughters (sic) pleas. Sad, very sad,"

Blender Magazine Editor, Michael Gross, shares these tidbits about Sam: "What we do know is that this man has a history of very violent temper, of emotional extortion, of blackmail, of using secrets against people in order to embarrass them and control them," Gross said. There are at least three restraining orders that we are aware of. Two were filed by a former neighbor and associate. The third was filed by a man named Danny. He and Sam had a long-term friendship before things turned dark.

Michael Gross interviewed Danny and heard some disturbing stories.

"Sam would then go into violent rages against Danny when he felt like Danny was not being loyal to him," Gross said. "He would use the confessions that Danny had made and say, ‘If you don't fly right I will tell everybody!’ In the end he did e-mail naked pictures of Danny to all his family and friends and then be began to make all sorts of violent threats against Danny's family saying that he hoped his sister would be raped to death.

"Britney is also probably in a situation where she has a lot of secrets that could be really good fire for blackmail if somebody wanted to use it against her," Gross added.

The latest news is that Britney's mom and dad are going to court to ask that they be named as conservators over Britney. Lutfi says he is "appalled and disgusted" that the parents have gone to court, adding that "Britney is in control of her assets and her business manager is in control of her assets." Lutfi says his lawyers are discussing his legal options...um yeah.... she is in control of nothing, including her bowels, and you (Sam) are in control of her assets?? And that is a good thing?? Yikes. He's a friggin' nut bar too if he thinks he has a greasy leg to stand on legally.

Update/Breaking News:

A conservatorship was granted over Britney Spears and placed in the hands of her dad Jamie Spears and Andrew Wallet a lawyer, just moments ago in a downtown Los Angeles courtroom. Lynne and Jamie Spears, the parents of the pop singer entered a Los Angeles courtroom earlier today to ask the probate court to establish a conservatorship for Britney. Commissioner Reva Goetz sat on the bench. Both parents came down the hall shortly before noon, flanked by half a dozen people, among them several attorneys. Jamie and Lynne appeared visibly upset with red eyes, giving the appearance that they had been crying.

And it is also being reported that the judge issued a restraining order against Sam, ordering him to stay the hell away from Britney.

Read the rest here

Sam I am is gone, gone, gone

More rehab or hospitalization news

Actress Eva Mendes is getting "professional support" for some "personal issues," her rep said Friday on the heels of a report saying she's in rehab battling a substance abuse problem.

'Grey's Anatomy' star Justin Chambers (yummy) reportedly checked into a psychiatric ward at a hospital in Los Angeles earlier this week for help with exhaustion and a sleeping disorder. He has five children…which begs the question…when will his poor wife (pictured above) get a chance to go to the hospital to get some rest too?

Sean Young has entered rehabilitation for alcohol abuse following a weekend outburst in which she was heckling from the audience at the Directors Guild of America awards. Sean has always been a card or two short of a full deck so I am sure liquor does not help at all.

Poor Amy Whitehouse has managed to combine both rehab and hospitalization. She had to be transported to a hospital from the rehab clinic and put on an IV drip because she is suffering from dehydration due to constant vomiting while going through detox. You want to steer kids away from taking drugs? Don’t make those inane public service announcements featuring celebs who are probably loaded as they are being filmed. Show celebs going through withdrawals, puking up their toenails. I am serious---ten minutes of a glamorous movie star or rock star on their hands and knees, face stuck in a toilet, puking and crying in agony will show kids what this sheyat is all about.

K-State Videos

I love YouTube! Tons of great videos, especially covering the awesome game Wednesday: