Must Been a Really Bad Case of Constipation

I wonder how many matches she went through?

Not to be outdone in the area of WTF? news, my adopted homeland of Kansas has produced this gem today:

Woman spent 2 years sitting on boyfriend’s toilet

Is this story full of cree-yap perhaps?

A 35-year-old woman who apparently spent two years in her boyfriend’s bathroom in Ness City had become stuck to the toilet seat, authorities said Wednesday.

“She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body. It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself,” Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said in a telephone interview, adding that it appeared her body fat had grown attached to the seat.

Authorities planned to present their report to the county attorney later Wednesday to see if any charges should be filed against her 36-year-old boyfriend, Whipple said. The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that “there was something wrong with his girlfriend,” Whipple said, adding that the boyfriend never explained why it took him two years to call. He said the boyfriend had brought the woman food and water during the two years and told investigators he asked her daily to come out of the bathroom.

“And her reply would be, ‘Maybe tomorrow,’ ” Whipple said. “According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom.”

Police found the clothed woman sitting on the toilet, her sweat pants down to her mid-thigh. Her legs looked like they had atrophied, he said. “She was sitting on the toilet and was somewhat disoriented,” Whipple said. “She said that she didn’t need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave.”

Sheriff Whipple + TWO freakin' years sitting on the crapper+ it took two years for lover boy to call the cops = ?????? Seriously people, you can't make this kind of sheyat up!

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  1. I've heard of people camping out in the bathroom but that definitely takes the cake! Sheesh.

  2. Waahhh? The sad thing is the reason I'm willing to belief this is that a Nip/Tuck episode had a woman growing adhesions to her sofa because she sat in her own filth, which ate away the skin and then it tried to grow back to the COUCH while her husband brought food to her. The pretty doctors towed her couch to the office and tried to cut her out of it.

    Okay, but presumabely the KC story is real. So how did her skin adhere to the toilet? If it's real, the boyfriend should be prosecuted for something. inprisonment? Is enabling a crime?

    Weird one! Obviously I'm now obsessed.

  3. It is just mind boggling...they showed the "house" on the news this is a decrepit mobile home...and they interviewed the boyfriend...Kansans across the state were cringing. Not exactly the image we have been trying to project.

  4. Hi Deb...the story is very real--it was the lead news story on each of the Wichita channels this evening. They had to cut the toilet seat off the stool and haul her and the commode seat to the hospital. She is a few cards short of a full deck---she did not want to leave the bathroom because she was afraid of running into family members living in town. They said that she will probably never be able to have use of her legs again and then stated the obvious: She would need mental health assistance...well, duh...she spent two damn years sitting on a toilet rather than face some family members. The boyfriend does not appear to be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but the authorities are investigating what charges to bring against him.

  5. That's pretty bizarre. What did she do all that time? Origami with toilet paper? Play with her split ends? How did she not fall off when she was sleeping? Just too much! :D

  6. Hi Laura....yeah, you have to wonder what she did to "pass" the time ;)Thanks for stopping by!

  7. Wow! That is so bizarre that I have no words to express myself properly at this time. Atrophied?!?!?! 2 flippin' years! MAYBE tomorrow?!?!? Wow! Some people's kids!

  8. Kansans were definitely cringing.

    I kind of feel bad for the woman. It seems like it was more of a mental breakdown, and a cry for help, and the boyfriend totally ignored it.