The Pinstripe Bowl Game

The Diva will be off visiting the granddiva and granddivos and will not be blogging for a day or two. I am not sure if those damn flying monkeys will try and post using a purloined iPad, because ya' never know what they will do while I am away. I will be back in the mansion in time to watch my beloved Wildcats play in the stadium of the much hated (by me) Yankees. The Cats will be up against the Syracuse Orangemen in the New Era Pinstripe Bowl Game Thursday afternoon. 

I do have a live stream of Pinstripe Bowl Game tweets on the left side of this blog.

For your viewing enjoyment:

Go Cats!

May/December...nah, try 20th century/21st century romance.

Hugh Hefner has announced that he is engaged to be married to a Playboy Bunny who is young enough to be his great-granddaughter. Hugh was already 60 years old before his intended was born.

 

I am sure it was love at first sight.

The 24 year old adores the every breath the 84 year old Hef wheezes.

Why, what she tweeted just proves the purity of her motives and love! ""Hef and I are TRENDING on @twitter!!!! WOW!!!"

Yes, she is so excited 'cause they are trending on Twitter....Isn't that what every newly engaged gal thinks about?

 

Happy Festivus, Diva Style (Purple Pride Edition)

Happy Festivus, Purple Pride Edition

Today, December 23rd, is Festivus-- one of the Diva's favorite holidays. What other holiday not only allows, but encourages, public bitching?

The Airing of Grievances:

The tradition of Festivus begins with the Airing of Grievances. 

"I got a lot of problems with you people! And now, you're gonna hear about it."

1) Which one of you flying monkeys is selling photos of the Diva to TMZ and the National Enquirer? Dambit, if you're gonna profit off of my fabulousness while I am spreading Holiday cheer around the neighborhood you at least need to split the money.

2) Dear much beloved, and respected, Coach Snyder--it is not a sign of weakness to experiment with playing other QBs on our roster...honest!

3) Curtis and Jake, what can I say? I hope looking GQ was worth being in Coach Martin's dog house. Sheyat, the Diva adores fashion but not enough to have this p.o.'d at me until the end of time:

Festivus Miracle:

For my Festivus Miracle I want a 2010 New Era Pinstripe Bowl Championship trophy. EMAW.

And for your viewing enjoyment:
 

Remember to celebrate the Festivus for the rest of us!

Disco Christmas Light Show

The Diva and her flying monkeys just love Eurotrash disco music and when you can combine it with Christmas lights....well, life does not get any better...unless you add some Godiva chocolate covered champagne bonbons served by nubile "Hunky Claus" 

 Ho Ho Ho takes on new meaning...but back to the Disco Christmas Light Show:





Enjoy!

Flying Monkeys Blog

The Diva is allowing her flying monkeys to test drive a blogging app on her iPad... Well, truth be known they grabbed the iPad whilst I was passed out, I mean napping, and I think they took it to their office Christmas party.



Sigh... I am still trying to find the damn iPod they got a hold of when I was partaking in some Octoberfest activities..







- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Steve Landesberg (Detective Dietrich) Dies

The 70s and 80s were, at least for the Aging Disco Diva, the golden age of TV sitcoms. One of my favorites was "Barney Miller" with a great ensemble cast that showcased the talents of Hal Linden, Abe Vigoda, Max Gail, Ron Glass, Jack Soo, Gregory Sierra and Steve Landesberg.

Not to be too macabre, but who in the hell would have thought that the seemingly forever ancient Abe Vigoba would have outlived Jack and Steve? It was so sad to hear that Steve passed away yesterday.

Captain Beefheart has passed away.

Oh the Diva feels so old. Another musical pioneer from her youth has passed on. My um..unusual...taste in music was honed while listening to Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention,

and Captain Beefheart and The Magic Band.

Frank died in 1993 and the Diva just read that the Captain died today. Yeah, I listened to bubblegum and disco but it was balanced out by the unusual sounds of other, more musically challenging, artists. Both of these musicians battered their listening audiences with raw emotions and more than a little whimsy.

RIP 

"Ptomaine, Ptinsel and Ptoddies" Coming to a bookstore near you!

The Aging Disco Diva is going to take a break from her tireless musicology research for a day

and is turning her attentions to the culinary arts so that she might educate her gentle readers in that area as well.

Here, is special, special clip featuring the owner of "Season's Eatings" and his famous family recipe. The Diva loves this particular gastronomic delight so much that she has included in her upcoming holiday cookbook "Ptomaine, Ptinsel and Ptoddies"

Mmmmmmm...I like the way they glisten.

"Wedneck" Wednesday?

The Aging Disco Diva is diligent in her serious research endeavors. In her continuing quest to expand her readers' Holiday musicology knowledge money and time are no object. 

Sheyat....time to schedule another root touch-up at the Rue De Merde Beauty Salon....

But I digress. Here for your edification is today's highbrow Holiday classic: 

Wow, somebody done been to the Wal Mart!
Man, this is the stuff I got for Christmas.
Well you cleaned up! Whadya git?

 Giterdone!

Tittalating Tuesday: The Diva's Killer Fruitcake

In keeping with the Diva's mission to expose her world-wide audience to high brow, classical Holiday music I have spent hours engaged in serious research.

Sigh...I double checked--all the cameras in my Flying Monkey's cell phones have been disabled. Those damn sinister simians must have a camera hidden somewhere in the mansion. "Find camera" has has now been added to my bucket list.

Anyway.....today's cultural epic is:

Grandma's Killer Fruitcake 

The holidays were upon us
And things were going fine
‘til the day I heard the doorbell
And a chill ran up my spine
I grabbed the wife and children
As the postman wheeled it in
A yearly Christmas nightmare
Has just come back again

 

Chorus:
It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky
Heavy as the sermon of Preacher Lucky
One’s enough to give the whole state of Kentucky
A great big bellyache!
It was denser than a drove of barnyard turkeys
Tougher than a truckload of all-beef jerky
Drier than a drought in Albuquerque
Grandma’s killer fruitcake!

Now, I’ve had to swallow some marginal fare
At our family feasts
I even downed Aunt Dolly’s possum pie
Just to keep the family peace
I winced at Wilma’s gizzard mousse
But said it tasted fine
But that lethal weapon that Grandma bakes
Is where I draw the line

Chorus

Bridge:
It’s early Christmas morning and the phone rings us awake
“It’s Grandma, Pa, she wants to know, how did we like the cake?”
“Well, Grandma… I never!... We couldn’t!... Unbelievable, that’s for sure!
What’s that you say? Oh, no, Grandma! Please don’t send us more!”

BON APPÉTIT! 

Manic Monday: The Diva Got Run Over by a Reindeer.

Well, not exactly...though the Aging Disco Diva is a Grandma..... and has been known to indulge in the holiday spirits 365 days a year.

Damn Flying Monkeys....I thought I disabled the camera in their cell phones....though I must admit I do look slimmer in that photo.

I tried to find the Mormon Tabernacle Choir version, but alas...could not. 

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.


She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd left her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.


When they found her Christmas mornin',
At the scene of the attack.
There were hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.


Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.


Now were all so proud of Grandpa,
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' football,
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle.


It's not Christmas without Grandma.
All the family's dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?


Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.


Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fig.
And a blue and silver candle,
That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig.


I've warned all my friends and neighbours.
Better watch out for yourselves."
They should never give a license,
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.


Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

Enjoy!

 

Soles4Souls

Michael Franti is an amazing musician and person. I saw him several times visiting with Craig Ferguson on the Late, Late, Show and he was always barefoot. I figured "Well, he's an ART-TESSSE" But that is not the reason why. Here he explains why he has not worn shoes in over ten years:






The organization is "Soles4Souls"

So dig around in your wallet or your closet and donate. Hmmmm....the diva has a fabu pair of 12" platform shoes...it will kill me to give up one of my babies, but it is for a good cause...

Here is another song from the Diva's iPod play list: "Say Hey (I Love You)" by Michael Franti and Spearhead. I am including two versions...the original and the lip synced one from my favorite Scotsman, Craig Ferguson:

I say hey, I be gone today
But I be back around the way
Seems like everywhere I go
The more I see, the less I know
But I know one thing, that I love you
I love you, I love you, I love you

Now I'm not a highly metaphysical man
But I know when the stars are aligned
You can bump into a person in the middle of the road
Look into their eyes and you suddenly know
Rocking in the dance hall moving with you
Dancing in the night in the middle of June
My Momma told me don't lose you
'cause the best luck I had was you.

And here is Michael spoofing Craig spoofing Micheal LOL:

 

Cockroaches for Charity

The Diva believes in charity. My favorite charity is the Diva Relief Fund (our telethon is to die for Dahling...Elton John sings a few songs, Naomi Campbell slaps a few workers, Josh Duhamel sends a few text messages and everyone wears sunglasses at night)

This is a time of the year for us to give thanks for what we have, and to give to charity...but DAMN:

"Murphy, a pet store employee, will attempt to set a Guinness World Record record by putting hissing cockroaches in his mouth for 10 seconds. The record attempt will raise money for the Harris Nature Center." 

Holy Fork dude... next time you want to raise money for charity just write a f'ing check or volunteer to man a Red Cross kettle. 

 

The One and ONLY Queen of Soul

I was saddened to hear that Aretha Franklin is battling cancer. Hell of a voice and she put the capital D in the word DIVA.

From one Diva to another: you kick that cancer's arse Queen of Soul. We are sending positive thoughts your way.

Let there be no doubt...Aretha is a force of nature.  Here is a video of Miss Franklin SCHOOLING MiMi: