The Aging Disco Diva: seinfeld

Happy Festivus, Purple Pride Edition

Today, December 23rd, is Festivus-- one of the Diva's favorite holidays. What other holiday not only allows, but encourages, public bitching?

The Airing of Grievances:

The tradition of Festivus begins with the Airing of Grievances.

"I got a lot of problems with you people! And now, you're gonna hear about it."

1) Which one of you flying monkeys is selling photos of the Diva to TMZ and the National Enquirer? Dambit, if you're gonna profit off of my fabulousness while I am spreading Holiday cheer around the neighborhood you at least need to split the money.

2) Dear much beloved, and respected, Coach Snyder--it is not a sign of weakness to experiment with playing other QBs on our roster...honest!

3) Curtis and Jake, what can I say? I hope looking GQ was worth being in Coach Martin's dog house. Sheyat, the Diva adores fashion but not enough to have this p.o.'d at me until the end of time:

Festivus Miracle:

For my Festivus Miracle I want a 2010 New Era Pinstripe Bowl Championship trophy. EMAW.

And for your viewing enjoyment:

Remember to celebrate the Festivus for the rest of us!

Every male's worst nightmare....

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.

"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.