She Was Rode Hard and Put Away Wet

My word....



You'all know that the Diva loved to feature our favorite Southern Train Wreck in her blog entries a few years back: the umbrella attacks, the crotch shots, the head shavings, the umbrella shavings, crotch attacks and head shots, etc. Then we found out that Britney Spears wasn't nuts, she was mentally ill, and the Aging Disco Diva decided to pick on other nucking futs celebrities and left Bri-Bri alone.


Well her heartless money squeezer loving father has decided she is well enough to be put on display sent out on tour to support her whole bloodsucking family bring happiness and joy to her fans.




Ok....The Aging Disco Diva is not going to question whether or not this is a despicable attempt to squeeze the last drop of milk outta' the fading-fast family cash cow, or a loving attempt to help her on the road to recovery. I will leave that to my Tuesday morning Cawfee Tawk with the Aging Bingo Princess.


I am going to question whether or not the costume designer for her tour is legally and/or artistically blind, or if he/she had only previously been the set designer for the Bulgarian porn industry. I mean... really... seriously... black pasties over silver sequined leotards????... soooooo last year. The Diva already donated all of hers to the local Goodwill.




I am also going to question the sanity of subjecting two young boys, night after night, to watching mommy on stage dressed as an aging S & M lounge skank.




The golden bra with protruding spikes is a particularly lovely visual for the boys.


You can pull all the stops out
Till they call the cops out
Grind your behind till you're bend.
But you gotta get a gimmick
If you wanna get a hand.
You can sacrifice your sacharo
Working in the back row.
Bump in a dump till you're dead.
Kid you gotta have a gimmick
If you wanna get ahead.

("You gotta have a gimmick"-- from the movie"Gypsy" )






Taken directly from Britney Spears's official blog:

Contrary to rumors linked to false articles, Britney Spears' sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James, will be joining her on the entire Circus tour and will be attending shows as planned. Britney's family is a huge inspiration and she loves having them on the road with her.




Oh my....I wonder if the boys were in the audience this past Sunday when mommy let the whole world know that her... um.... um... cough... naughty bits... were hanging out of her costume. Deja vu all over again--I mean who has not seen her nether region by now? You stay classy Bri-Bri, I imagine any parent who was brain damaged enough to bring their spawn to the concert were thrilled your choice of words!

"Mommy, what did Brittany mean, what is hanging out?"

"Well Madison-Ashley... um... well honey, I guess Brittany must have brought her kitty cat to the concert and it got out"

"Where mommy? I can't see a kitty..."

"Never mind sweetie. You have an early soccer practice tomorrow, maybe we should be heading home"

"But mommy, I want to see Brittany's pussy cat!"




On a positive note: my flying monkeys just adored this outfit:




It does look vaguely familiar....





The Diva is hoping to complete her mail-order psychiatry degree before little Sean and Jayden hit the age of 12. If I can get a group session put together for Sean, Jayden, Suri, Blanket (and the other Wacko Jacko kids) and maybe one or two other nucked up celebrity spawn I will be in champagne and caviar for the next hundred years....











4 comments:

  1. I have no idea whether this is real or fake but I found it funny!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhR1fvHidAw

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  2. She's in town tonight for a concert. Horrible write ups in the paper. I feel sorry for her. Happy to see she has cellulite though!

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  3. It's like she's not only mentally ill - she's missing entire neural pathways. What is that flying monkey doing to Toto?

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  4. Not all S&M lounge skanks are bad parents...Not all. ::D

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