The Diva Dishes Oscar

The funniest Oscar bit last night:

"You look like you work at a Hasidic meth lab".... Ok, maybe you have to be from the east or west coast to fully appreciate that line, but dee-yam, that was funny. Steve Martin and Tina Fey were quite funny too. If I can find the clip online I will put it up here later on.

Another Oscar note--it might be hard for you young pups to know that this:

Used to be this:

Mickey Rourke was quite the hunk...sigh...Honestly, can you think of a better visual to illustrate "Just say No"???

All in all this year's Academy Award ceremony was pretty good. There was a minimum of "cringe" moments that forced me to run for my remote control, which is a big improvement over past years. The only "make it stop, make it stop" segment was the tribute to Jerry Lewis...yes, he has raised a planet load of money for a good cause, but heaven help me, I cannot stand the man. Unspeakable torture for the diva would be wall to wall reruns of Dancing with the Stars starring the Dread Pirate Heather Mills, The Denise Richards reality show and anything with Jerry Lewis in it. If I am ever captured by the enemy hot coals can be applied to the bottom of my feet and bamboo sticks shoved upside my fingernails and I would hold firm...but show the opening credits to any Jerry Lewis movie and I will spill my guts. The minute Jerry's name was invoked last night I made a mad dash for the remote control, frantically punched at the mute button, put my fingers in my ears, turned my back to the TV and began singing every verse of "Don't eat the yellow snow" at the top of my lungs.

My overall take on the show: I could have eaten Hugh Jackman with a spoon, I think I have a new crush. He did a wonderful job proving that charm and good looks can go a long way to making what is usually a snore-fest pretty watchable.

Jennifer Aniston looked like she had taken a dip...or two...or three... of something-something before the show. She looked pretty shredded around the edges. The Diva was really hoping that she would suddenly stop in the middle of her praddle on stage, look in to the audience, and let out a blood curdling scream: "You skinny beeyotch, you stole my husband!" Doing a superman leap, with arms outstretched she would hurl herself off the stage and land on top of Angelina. The world would get to watch Live! From Hollywood! the two lollipop head scarecrows rolling around the ground while Brad stands back watching the action with a little smirk on his face. Granted I am firmly in "Camp Jolie" because I think Jennifer is a whiny Winnie who loves to play the "Woe is me" card, but still....that would have been GREAT TV!


1 comment:

  1. That Ben Stiller bit was da bomb. It was worth suffering through Jerry Lewis. As for Hugh -- *swoon*. I almost drowned in my puddle of drool.

    I would have paid extra for the Jennifer/Angelina catfight, oh yes indeedy. My money on the skinny chick wiff the tats. Heh.