The Schmuck and The Shrimp

Howard Stern is a schmuck.

I would not listen to him when he was on the air for free and I sure as hell am not going to pay to listen to him (though I actually am a Sirius Radio subscriber) If I want to listen to mean, foul mouthed immature boys I will return to teaching middle school. Shock jocks are so yesterday. What has the Aging Disco Diva's feather boa ruffled? Stern the Schmuck has decided to pull his immature crap on Dolly Parton. For goodness sake, no one...I mean NO ONE has ever uttered a negative word about Dolly. In this day and age the internet is abuzz if a celebrity scratches the wrong way so if you are a beyotch we all hear about it. Everyone raves about how dang sweet and funny Dolly is, how down to earth she is, how she never takes herself too seriously, what a joy she is to work with, never pulls the diva act, etc. So picking on Dolly is unconscionable.

Just not funny Howard

Dolly Parton says she is "completely devastated" by a segment on the Howard Stern radio show featuring her voice discussing sex and other celebrities. Last week Stern manipulated recordings from one of her audio books into seemingly racist and sexually graphic sound bites.

The country performer released a statement Wednesday saying editing or trickery made it appear she was commenting on topics and celebrities including Kenny Rogers, Linda Ronstadt, Burt Reynolds and Johnny Carson.

"I have never been so shocked, hurt and humiliated in all my life," Parton said. "In a blue million years, I would never have such vulgar things come out of my mouth."

The segment aired May 6. A spokesman for the show did not immediately respond to an e-mail seeking comment.

"Just wanted you to know that I am completely devastated by this," Parton said.

“I have never been so shocked, hurt and humiliated in all my life,” Parton said in a statement on Wednesday. “I cannot believe what Howard Stern has done to me. In a blue million years, I would never have such vulgar things come out of my mouth. They have done editing or some sort of trickery to make this horrible, horrible thing. Please accept my apology for them and certainly know I had nothing to do with this.”

She concluded: “If there was ever going to be a lawsuit, it’s going to be over this. Just wanted you to know that I am completely devastated by this.”

Don't worry Dolly, the only one who should be apologizing is Howard Stern, but he won't because he is a moron.

Normally I like Oprah, but was disgusted to see her with lips, planted firmly on Tiny Tom's arse last week, doing a total fluff interview.

What gives girl? Does he have some blackmail stuff on you? Because that is the only thing I can think of to explain what happened last week.

Tom Cruise has used his interview with Oprah Winfrey to address rumors of his marriage to Katie Holmes, his daughter Suri and his relationship with Scientology.

When Tom Cruise last had a TV chat with Oprah Winfrey he astonished the world by bouncing on the couch, crowing about his love for Katie Holmes - and sparking a flood of ridicule that's just kept flowing.

Now he has he returned to Winfrey's sofa - but this time, rather than professing his devotion, Cruise was busy denying marital problems with his younger wife.

"That's laughable to me," Cruise said when Winfrey told him there was speculation that "what you and Katie have is not real".

Holmes, 29, and Cruise, 45, both greeted Winfrey when she arrived at the sprawling log home, where they gave her moccasins with her name stitched on them waiting in a cubicle marked "Oprah" with a brass plate. Holmes said she loved them both and left them to their interview. (Like a dutiful robot)

emawkc sent me a link to this great music video and it seems very appropriate right now:

"Tom Cruise Crazy" by Jonathan Coulton, SweetAfton23


  1. Dolly reminds me of my Auntie. She is sweet like her. So now that Howard bastard is dissing my family.


    And Tom Cruise and Oprah? Blech to both of them. Oprah lost all my respect when she fawned all over him and that freakshow Jenny McCarthy that 'cured' her son of Autism with her stupid Mommy instinct.

  2. Howard Stern is a bloody neanderthal with a boring, stupid, loser schtick. God, I so hate men like that!

    Dolly Parton should sue the stupid, misogynistic creep!

  3. Hi Kelley,

    Yup that buttkiss fest between Oprah and TT was very disappointing.

    I agree about Dolly too, she seems like a really great gal... someone you'd love to drink a couple of beers with and just talk. I am not a county & western fan but I would love to visit Dollywood or watch her in concert. Thanks for stopping by!

  4. Oh Nicole...that is so harsh, so like the Diva it is scary, LOL. Thanks so much for stopping by!

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  6. You know, I never did "get" Howard Stern, and now I realize that I don't want to. I love Dolly. (WARNING: get ready for some sap here)...When my mom was dying I kept playing "She's an eagle when she flies" for her.

    As for Tom, well, he lost me at hello.


  7. Dolly Parton is one of the few real genuine down to earth entertainers I respect. She's an inspiration to a lot of people of what can be achieved if you work at what you love and don't get sidetracked by fame. As for Howard Stern, that's exactly the sort of behaviour the censhorship laws should prevent.

  8. Hi Christy, I am glad that it is just not me who never "got" Howard--- he is totally mean-spirited and honestly never made me laugh, but then again I am not into juvenile, preteen boy humor. As for Dolly, she is such a nice lady (and the Diva lives to snark on celebrities, so you know Dolly must be beyond approach) Why do something to her? For crying out loud... with a world filled with horrible people like Heather Mills who deserve to be trashed, why go after Dolly?

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

  9. Hi Carl, yes Dolly is a real rags to riches story...and the beauty of it is that apparently she did not step all over people on the way up (cough, J-Lo, cough) She is one of the few really good folks around so it made no sense for Howard to do this. As I have said earlier... there is a snake barrel full of horrible celebrities (cough, heather mills, cough) who are fair game, so why go out of your way to skewer a sweetie like Dolly?

    Thanks for stopping by!

  10. Dolly Parton is the salt of the earth and abusing her is like kicking the Easter Bunny.

    Tom Cruise and Oprah -- yuk. What is it about these people that gives them such a feeling of superiority?

  11. Go Dolly! Kick some Howard Stern overexposed heiny!

    And I've always liked and respected Oprah, but ..... is she starting to get .... a little......squirrelly? I don't know....I'm starting to think she's joined her own cult...