Oh The Horror, The Inhumanity of It All.....

The Aging Disco Diva experienced yesterday, in the most horrific manner imaginable, the grave dangers associated with common, over-the-counter cold medications. Even though it is not stated in the warnings written on each bottle or on each box of cold medicine, it must be understood that it is extremely dangerous to gossip while under the influence of cold medications.

The Aging Bingo Princess, who has been fighting off a cold all week and is on a DayQuil drip, called me yesterday. After a while our conversation turned to gossip (naturally):

Aging Disco Diva: "That Gene Simmons sex tape is the hot gossip story today, that is for sure"

Aging Bingo Princess: "Gene Simmons? Really...gosh that is hard to believe!"

A.D.D.: "Why? He is a horny pig that will jump the bones of anything that is female"

A.B.P.: "Females? Damn, I thought he was gay..."

A.D.D.: "Huh? Gay? No way...he brags that he has had sex with a billion woman."

A.B.P.: "Seriously??? I had no idea. I could have sworn he was gay."

A.D.D.: "That's really weird...I have never, ever heard anyone even whisper that he was gay. He is a complete horn dog"

A.B.P.: "Wow, he really had me fooled... he looks like a fruit bar in those little shorts"

A.D.D.: "Gene Simmons...in shorts?....that's repulsi....."

Then it dawned on me that my poor, medically deranged friend was picturing this in her DayQuil haze:

In nightmare fashion, tawdry images immediately flashed in my mind---The Richard Simmons Sex Tape:

Oh....dear....lord....at least he has on underwear.....

I think it is time for me to self-medicate....no, not the champagne glasses....just give me the whole damn bottle....

Technorati Tags: , , ,


  1. That's awesome!! I always get those 2 mixed up! It's like telling left from right...totally opposite things but sometimes you have to think about it for a sec.

  2. LOL, I went right along with this post the whole way...I keep thinking, how could anyone think that Gene Simmons is gay? (LOL)

    Then when I strolled down to the pictures, I lost it! (laughing) This is hilarious, and I really like the photo at the end...

    Funny post:))


  3. The funniest thing to me is that I've actually worked with Richard Simmons eons ago at HSN he sold exercise and diet stuff and dolls...yes dolls (but he wore a tux on those occassions). Very nice man...way too much energy...never mixed him up with Gene though...I need that DayQuil!!! LOL

  4. Ok, I feel a need to defend my medicinal haze...or it could have been another type of haze from my throw back days in the 70's. I want you to follow my mental track to where I derailed and confused the two "men". Both wear make-up, both dress rather strangely, and I don't believe either are welcome on the Tonight Show anymore. Gene because he is "bite the heads off of bats" strange, and Richard because she likes to chase David around to try and "kiss" him. See where the confusion came in?! Either way you look at it, both Simmons' are horndogs...just different breeds!
    Signing off...Bingo Princess