Father Does Not Always Know Best

I just don't get it. The Aging Disco Diva must live in some sort of alternate universe where it is considered not only inappropriate, but downright friggin' yucky, for a daddy to rub lotion on his teenage daughter's arse, or

in between her thighs ... or

pose for engagement announcement type photos.

Or salaciously brag about your daughter's breasts:


“She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she’s sexy in both. She’s got double D’s! You can’t cover those suckers up!

Transpose these images with the story of the almost unbelievable incest case of the father in Austria who held his daughter hostage for 24 years and impregnated her at least seven times, and you have to wonder WTF is going on over in this universe.

I am NOT saying that Hulk Hogan, Joe Simpson or Billy Ray are committing incest, but carp on a stick... do any of these morons have half a functioning brain cell in their addled head to help them realize that there is a line between appropriate and inappropriate behavior with your teenage or 20-something daughter?

Excuse me while I go projectile vomit. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Tags: hulk hogan, brook hogan, miley cyrus, billy ray cyrus, joe simpson, jessica simpson, ashlee simpson

Weiner Wranglers On The Loose!

Every male's worst nightmare....

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.

"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.

Still trying to grab a hold of it all?

The Diva wonders if any of the male member shrinkage down in the Congo occurred by a pool???

Momma Billy Ray Rose Dropped the Ball?

Ok, let's just call the Aging Disco Diva a bit overprotective....a bit old fashioned....a bit old school... but when did quasi child porn become artsy? And what the f'n hell was Momma Billy Ray Rose doing while his 15...yes folks....15 year old daughter was posing for the picture above? Was he too damn busy counting the money his little cash cow is raking in to notice that she was posing provocatively, with her jail bait naughty bits covered up only with a silk sheet? OMFG. 15 might be considered an old woman back in the trailer park but carp on a stick, in most states (note I did not say all states) a 15 year old is still considered a child.

Does it take more than two brain cells to realize that a photo of your child wearing nothing but a sheet might be inappropriate for someone who is being aggressively pimped out ... I mean, marketed ... as "America's Squeaky Clean Teen Queen" ??? Hmmm??? Ya' think?

The Diva gave birth to two Princess Divas and you can bet that I would have stuck my size 7 platform shoe up the arse of anyone who suggested that they be allowed to take pictures of either of them, wearing only a silk sheet, when they were 15 years old... sheyat...I might still do that and they are aged 30 and 24 right now.

You have to love the spin control that is going on now:

She said....

ANNIE LEIBOVITZ was the photographer behind the headline-making pictures of teen queen MILEY CYRUS featured in the upcoming issue of Vanity Fair. Now, the famed photographer speaks out about the controversy.

"I'm sorry that my portrait of Miley has been misinterpreted," she says. "Miley and I looked at fashion photographs together and we discussed the picture in that context before we shot it. The photograph is a simple, classic portrait, shot with very little makeup, and I think it is very beautiful."

Misinterpreted? Misinterpreted? Do we look like a bunch of morons? How many ways can you interpret a photograph taken of a 15 year minor, wearing her birthday suit, a sheet and a f*** me expression? Ask any child molester and pervert and they can give you the only interpretation of that portrait that is legitimate. You, Ms Leibovitz, are a twittering fool ... and while I am ranting --- where the frig were her parents while this conversation was going on?

Am I the only one who would have handled it this way??

Photographer: Well, what do you think? Simple, classic, very little makeup ... no clothing ....

Pop Tart: "I think it looks, like really cool."

Aging Disco Diva wanders over, looks at digital proofs, turns and beyotch slaps the photographer: What in the hell do you think you are doing?

A.D.D grabs Pop Tart, gives her THE LOOK and says: What in the hell do you think you are doing? ....

End of problem, no scandal. But I guess that would take too much effort. You can't be your meal ticket's buddy and then try to be a parent. Sheyat, you might have to drag your arse back to the recording studio and actually try and earn your own money, or you could try making it on "Dancing With The Stars" ... strike that last one out ... well, there IS always "Celebrity Fit Club"

Jail bait said....

The 15-year-old actress/singer posed for celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz for the issue, on sale in New York and Los Angeles on Wednesday and nationwide May 6. One waist-up shot shows Cyrus looking provocatively over her right shoulder, her back nude and breasts covered by her arms and shimmery fabric.

In a caption with the image, Disney's Hannah Montana star tells VF: "I think it's really artsy. It wasn't in a skanky way. Annie took, like, a beautiful shot, and I thought that was really cool."

It wasn't in a skanky way? You thought it looked, like, really cool. You, Lil Miss Miley, are a twittering fool in-training.

Jail bait has second thoughts....

On Sunday, Cyrus apparently had a change of heart. "I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be 'artistic' and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed," she said in a statement issued by her publicist, Jill Fritzo. "I never intended for any of this to happen, and I apologize to my fans who I care so deeply about."

Translation: I thought it looked really, like, grown up, and sexy ... but daddy says that I am jeopardizing the standard of living he has grown accustomed to ... and I need to say that I was tricked. So I am so sorry, please continue to buy all the crap that Daddy has marketed with my face and name.

Big Magazine says...

Beth Kseniak, a spokeswoman for both Vanity Fair and Leibovitz defended the move in The New York Times: "Miley's parents and/or minders were on the set all day. Since the photo was taken digitally, they saw it on the shoot and everyone thought it was a beautiful and natural portrait of Miley."

The pics of Little Miss Miley that were allegedly posted on her MySpace page this past winter tend to support the idea that her handlers could not care less until the parents of her prepubescent fans started screaming ....

But, let's cut her parents and handlers some slack ... this is unchartered territory for the entertainment world ... It is not like there has ever been a young girl pushed into show biz by her parents and then allowed to spiral out of control because no one was willing to set rules for her ...

The Diva A Cheesehead???

The Aging Disco Diva loves God, family, country, Kansas State University, adult beverages, chocolate, the 70s....and now the Green Bay Packers. Why in heaven's name is she adding Cheesehead to her list? Because they had the damn good sense to draft our beloved Jordy Nelson as their first draft pick yesterday.

Jordy is a friggin' STUD on the football field and a wonderful, wonderful human being. Green Bay-- you are going to be a better team because of this selection and you can bet the farm that Jordy will never do anything to sully his name nor the reputation of your team. He is a classy kid.

Green Bay Made a Great Selection

MANHATTAN — Jordy Nelson didn't recognize the number when the phone rang.

"I answered, but I didn't really know who it was," he said. "When they said who it was, I was excited."

So was everybody else at Nelson's Landing, the Leonardville restaurant where Nelson works as part-time cook when he isn't playing football. The roar was so loud that Nelson had to step outside to complete one of the most important five-minute phone calls of his life.

"I couldn't hear anything," Nelson said. "They went crazy."

The unfamiliar phone number belonged to the Green Bay Packers, who selected Nelson with the 36th pick in Saturday's NFL draft.

"It's somebody I haven't talked too much to," said Nelson, a consensus All-American last season at Kansas State. "I talked to them a little bit at the combine. I'm definitely happy that it happened."

It was a pleasant surprise, but a surprise nonetheless. The Redskins showed the most pre-draft interest, inviting Nelson to Washington, D.C., last week and flying to Manhattan on Thursday for a private workout.

Kansas City, another team that showed interest in Nelson, picked one spot ahead of Green Bay. The Chiefs drafted Virginia Tech cornerback Brandon Flowers with the fourth pick of the second round.

"(Nelson) is a good player, as we all know," said Bill Kuharich, Kansas City's vice president of player personnel. "Everyone in this room has seen him play. Sometimes we sit in the room and ask, like everyone does, 'Hmm, why did this team take this guy?' We didn't say that here. We said, 'Green Bay got themselves a real good player.' "

"We would have liked to have him," added GM Carl Peterson.

Nelson became K-State's highest draft pick since Terence Newman went No. 5 overall in 2003. He was the third wide receiver chosen, behind Thomas and Houston's Donnie Avery, picked 32nd by St. Louis.

Green Bay seems like an ideal fit in more ways than one. Nelson, whose small-town roots are well documented, won't have to adjust to the big-city lifestyle of Washington, D.C., or New York.

"From everything I've heard about Green Bay as a town, I know they're huge sports fans," Nelson said. "They've got the history there and everything like that, so I'm just excited to get into the environment and get going."

With his 31-inch vertical, Nelson should have no problem pulling off the Lambeau Leap, Green Bay's traditional touchdown celebration. If his pro career goes anything like his college career, he'll get plenty of practice.

"Hopefully I get used to doing that frequently," he said.

Well, I am now a gen-u-whine Cheesehead fan, but will NOT be one of those over-the-top-fanatical type of sports fan who paints their family room green and gold.....

... well, mainly because I have already painted the family room purple and white, with tons of Kansas State pictures, collectibles, ornaments, posters and assorted other memorabilia. Outside we have four different PowerCat lawn art pieces, a PowerCat flag and a huge limestone PowerCat decorative slab...no, nothing fanatical this Diva, LOL.

And to be honest, I also can't see the Diva sporting a giant cheese slice on her head....

but a cheesebra might not look too bad paired up with a pair of PowerCat hot pants....

I definitively will have to purchase a Green Bay football jersey with his number and name this fall

If you happen to be one of those Green Bay Packer fans who was bitching after Jordy's selection, please bookmark this page so that you can come back in the middle of next season, bow down, kiss the Diva's feet (and/or butt) and humbly proclaim: "Yes, Diva, you were right... he is the greatest thing to hit Wisconsin since the invention of sliced cheese...."

Time for the Diva to research which champagnes and chocolates go best with Wisconsin cheese...

A Bored Diva is a Snarky Diva....

Ho-hum. The gossip news these last few days has been boring.

First big bore: Another "shocking" ouster on American Idol.

The Church Lady was not pleased

Carly Smithson might be the first “American Idol” contestant to be voted off the show for blasphemy.

Online chat boards devoted to “American Idol” have been abuzz since Ms. Smithson performed the title song from “Jesus Christ Superstar” — the 1970 rock opera, which many Christians consider offensive — on Tuesday’s episode. Ms. Smithson received the fewest votes of the six remaining contestants following her Tuesday performance. Her elimination was announced on Wednesday night’s episode. The week’s performances were drawn from the works of Andrew Lloyd Webber, who wrote “Jesus Christ Superstar” with Tim Rice.

Within hours of Ms. Smithson’s performance, which was hailed by one “American Idol” judge as one of the best of the night, questions were being raised online about the song. On one thread on the show’s official Web site, AmericanIdol.com, a viewer warned shortly after the performance that Ms. Smithson’s choice of the song would put her in danger of elimination.

I guess then the Diva won't pontificate on her love of that particular musical and her experience as a young Diva singing in a local theater production of it back in 1972... and how it deepened, not lessened, her beliefs. Sheesh. Thicken up that skin, people. I think there are some folks out there with too much time on their hands who feel the need to look hard for things to offend them. I am not a fan of the American Idol, have not watched a single episode this year (or any year) but I do watch the clips each week that are posted on YouTube (sort of a Reader's Digest or CliffsNotes Version of each week's show) when I listened to this gal singing on the YouTube clip....wow... the Diva would have given up her best pair of platform shoes if she was able to obtain a set of pipes like this gal. She was simply amazing:

Gee, another show that apparently is pandering to fans of little metrosexual boy singers. How....boring... and it seems that a lot of other people agree with the Diva:


And Another One Jumps the Shark:

"American Idol" posted its lowest rating among adults 18-49 in five years Wednesday, continuing its seasonlong slide as it edges towards its grand finale next month.

The Fox talent show drew 22.6 million total viewers, and an 8.2 rating, 21 share among adults 18-49, a demographic coveted by advertisers. Last Wednesday's results show drew 23.3 million viewers.

Second Big Bore: another "shocking" Hollywood split up

Former Diff'rent Strokes star Gary Coleman revealed back in February that he had secretly married his 22-year-old girlfriend Shannon Price last August. Now, 40-year-old Coleman and his eBay Queen are headed to divorce court...no, not the usual court with real lawyers, etc.... they are headed to divorce court as in the show "Divorce Court"

If you are interested in the Diva's take of all of this back in February you can click here.


Wow...whatta shocker... given this history who could have predicted, eh?

• Coleman and Price secretly wed on August 28, 2007 in a small, private ceremony in Nevada. The marriage took place on Price's 22nd birthday with, according to Coleman only "the minister, preacher, the cameraman, the photographer, the helicopter pilot and us."

• Coleman also revealed his relationship with Price was his first with anyone. "I never got the opportunity to be romantic or feel romantic with anyone," Coleman said. "I wasn't saving myself, she just happened to be the one."

• The honeymoon did not last too long....Price told Inside Edition in February that "[Gary] lets his anger conquer him sometimes. He throws things around, and sometimes he throws it in my direction."
  

• Price said the couple fought all the time and police have been called to their disputes several times.

• Price said that if Coleman "doesn't get his way, he throws a temper tantrum like a five-year-old does, He,like, stomps on the floor and yells, ‘Meehhhh,’ and starts throwing stuff around. He bashes his head in the wall, too,"

• Coleman states in the transcript that he is tired of the male always being the "bad guy" and when he tries to "state my case or explain things to her or try to get her to understand my point of view, my point of view doesn't matter."

Missing among the marital assets to be divided by the court: any friggin' sense of dignity and pride. Luckily they will both be able to add the title "media whore" to their slim resumes.

Third Big Bore: another "shocking" denial of the love that dare not speak its name

Nice apartment with a huge walk-in closet?


LOS ANGELES - Clay Aiken has no interest in taking his love life public.

During a promotional appearance for his upcoming album, “On My Way Here,” and his Broadway show “Spamalot,” the “American Idol” Season 2 runner-up told “The Billy Bush Show” it’s only the media who cares whether he is gay or straight. “I think for the most part, I really think that people don’t care, honestly,” Clay told Billy Bush. “I think that the press ... people like that care more than anybody else does.” Aiken told Billy that when press attention first began focusing on his sexuality following his “Idol” season, things were rough.

“It can be difficult initially. I think when you get into anything and you’re not used to people scrutinizing this, that or the other ... it bothers you,” Aiken said. “After awhile you kind of just say, ‘Forget this ... This is not who I am, this is not about me, what I want to do is be a singer, want to be an entertainer, and forget all that stuff.’ ”

The singer, who releases his new album on May 6, said his sexuality is not of interest to most people — it is his voice they are interested in.

“I think for the most part, people don’t want to have that type of stuff pushed, people who are living in Omaha or in Charlotte or wherever,” he said. “They don’t want stuff like that pushed in their face, I don’t think that’s necessary and that’s also not what I’m here for. I mean I went on ‘Idol’ to be a singer, I went on ‘Idol’ to be an entertainer and that’s what my priority is.”

And while he may not comment publicly on his love life, Aiken gets revealing, somewhat, in song.

“Some of the songs on the album are personal, some of them are not personal, some of them are very universal and I like to keep that — allow people to interpret it that way,” he said.

Oh, but Clay baby, unfortunately you are wrong, some of your little Claymates do, they do care:

Clay Aiken was at the center of more questions surrounding his sexuality after parishioners at a Wichita, Kansas church where he was set to perform a Christmas concert last November demanded assurances the singer isn’t gay.

According to The National Enquirer elders at the The Central Christian Church wanted to make sure the singer was heterosexual before ok’ing for him to perform before their congregation on November 26. Controversy reached a fever pitch shortly after the performance was announced, and the executive pastor Mark Posson felt compelled to send a letter to concerned elders.

Posson’s letter claimed Clay:

• Has always spoken openly about his Christian beliefs. He doesn't drink, smoke, swear or womanize. He won't sing about sex or even use lyrics with innuendo. During his Idol appearance in 2004, Aiken wore his WWJD bracelet each show."

• "His holiday CD includes several songs about Christ's birth. During a tour for Disney, he sang an explicitly Christian song ('You Were There') which references Abraham, David and Jesus."

• "In an interview with Rolling Stone magazine in July 2003, Aiken... stated that he is not gay. This fact was again confirmed in an interview with 'Today's Christian,' an internet website and service of Christianity Today, International."...

I am not a Clay Aiken fan, just am not into his singing, but if...just if... he was living in that walk in closet and decided to step out he might find that people who were not part of his current fan base might buy his albums as a way of showing support. I know the Aging Disco Diva would.

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