Losing El Kansas is a Plus!

Colbert's Doom Bunker!!

"I am going to propose some horrific scenarios...let me be clear--we are not looking for solutions, we just want to talk about how horrible it would be...."

Scenario #1...the year is 2012 and:

  • The Dow is below 1,000
  • Unemployment is 40%
  • There is an armed insurrection in El Kansas
Scenario #2...the year is 2014 and:

  • The Dow is under 250 points
  • The Koala Pox Epidemic has wiped out all the livestock
  • Our currency is soy beans
  • We have a werewolf congress
Scenario #3....the year is 2019 and:

  • The US auto industry is gone
  • Every car in America is a Decepticon...evil robots in every garage

Scenario #4, is the scariest...the year is 2012 and:

  • President Obama's policies have worked
  • Pulling out of the Iraq War was the right thing to do
  • The stimulus plan has the Dow rebounding to around 12,000
  • People's faith in the government is restored
"Stephen Moore---what are you going to do? It's gun in the mouth time for you, right?"

Lest you think that our New Galactic Overlord pulled this skit out of thin air, or his butt, he was just copying the format of another news show:

Beck's WAR ROOM!!

"I know some people say you're an unstable individual and to give you a public forum is grossly irresponsible, but remember... they crucified Jesus!"

1 comment:

  1. And that would be the religious right's worst nightmare, wouldn't it?