2008 Twit of the Year

It is great to see Hulk Hogan working so hard to get into competitive shape for the "Twit of the Year" competition. Twit pundits are in agreement that he is the prohibitive favorite to win the coveted award, particularly because the competition consists of his son Nick and soon to be ex-wife Linda.. and while they have obviously been working diligently to give the Hulkster a run for the title, I think unlike Big Brown, Hulk will not tank in the heat of the competition. The only question is whether or not he is using steroids to increase his twitiness,

Even though she is not in the running for the award we can't rule out Brooke juice twitting up too...

in fact the only one who appears to be working on his twit factor completely au natural and without twit enhancements is Nick.

Nick appears to just have been born that rare twit savant.

Well, without further ado, it is time for this year's entries:

Hulk "Terry Bollea" Hogan

God made John a vegetable to make him a better person....

Yup, the diva ain't making this sheyat up. The Hulk went on Larry King Live Tuesday night and using God as his copilot, claimed that Nick's drunk driving and speeding accident, the one that put John Graziano in a vegetative state, had a purpose: to make John a better person...well, everyone knows that being a semi-comatose invalid for the rest of your life is a real character builder.

Hogan broke down when discussing the difficulties his family has faced over the last several months. "Yeah, it's been hard," he said. "The main focus is my son, my children and John Graziano. This is in God's hands. Things happen for a reason. This is to make Nick a better person. This is, in my belief, this is to make John a better person. Like I said before, it’s God’s will, where we’re at.”

Hulk, might I suggest that you allow a neighborhood wino or crack fiend to smash your head with a sledge hammer, thereby giving you irreversible, severe brain damage? Then after you have spent a couple of decades in a rest home ker-rapping your pants and having to depend on the work ethic of a minimum wage high school drop out for your daily care, hit the t.v. talk show circuit and tell us how appreciative you are that God made you a better person by putting you through all of that.... and then I might, just might, buy into your "I am Holier than the saints in heaven" act.

Hogan then commented on the statement made by John Graziano's mother calling the Bollea's the biggest two-faced individuals she's ever seen. He said:

"You forgive them for they know not what they do," Hogan said.

When the diva heard this blasphemy she got so excited that she knocked the little pink umbrella right out of her drink. Would this result in the ultimate live TV moment? Would the studio suddenly be filled with a thunderously loud voice from above that boomed :"Oh, no you didn't just say that" and then....

And then we would hear a symphony of angelic high five claps (or fist hand bumps between the hipper Seraphim) emanating from the heavens.

Alas, nothing happened...which just cements my belief that it is God's will that Hulk be awarded the 2008 Twit of the Year.

I mean really, how can Linda, Brooke and Nicky compete with that level of twitiness? Well...not for a lack of effort......

Linda "Bollea" Hogan

Here is 48 year old Linda with her new boyfriend...the emphasis on the word BOY:

This is Linda's new boyfriend, 19-year-old Charlie Hill. Brooke says she knows Hill from high school.

"I went to school with him," admits Brooke. "He was a grade under me... Me and Nick know him well. Me and Nick are two years apart, and he was right between us" in school, says Brooke.

Brooke added, "totally freaked out. This is really weird. I personally don't like it at all or condone it."

I am sure she was as upset as when she found out her daddy was diddling Christiane Plante her a former friend. Hmmmm.... a sure nomination for the Twit Family of The Year award?

But wait, Linda is really making an all out effort to win Twit of the Year:

HULK HOGAN's estranged wife LINDA BOLLEA has launched a scathing attack on the mother of the victim left critically injured in a car crash caused by her son NICK BOLLEA.

In a telephone conversation taped by Florida's Pinellas County Jail, where Bollea is behind bars serving an eight-month sentence for the crash, Linda claims she is suffering more than the mother of 23-year-old John Graziano, who has been hospitalized with brain injuries following the 2007 car crash in Clearwater, Florida.

Sobbing uncontrollably, Linda is heard saying "I'm sad because I really appreciated you! She's not suffering, I am! I have the loss. I'm at the beach house all by myself, it's not the same!"

Boo friggin hoo. You are at the f'n beach house all by your f'n self, cry me a damn river...yeah, you are all alone...if you don't count the young meat you're cooking in your old oven. And I don't want to hear that crap about how men do it all the time and society accepts it. If you are a 48 man, and you are playing hide the salami with a girl that went to high school school with your kids-like just last year, then you are a pig. P-I-G, pig.

Nick "Bollea" Hogan

The New Nick?

Although the Bolleas are repeatedly warned their conversations are being recorded they continued to make complete boobs of themselves. On the tapes, young master Bollea, who is doing an eight-month stretch in the Pinellas County slammer after pleading no contest to a charge of reckless driving in a crash that caused massive brain damage to Marine and Iraq war veteran John Graziano, complains that his jail cell is smaller than his bathroom at the family mansion.

Finally, Nick Bollea takes a crybaby break to tell his father that for an anticipated court appearance he'll wear his jail jumpsuit, "For the sympathetic factor."

And then Nick tells his father to start working on a reality show about his coming out of jail, "Where I can make the most money."

"We can call it 'The New Nick,'" Hulk muses

Meanwhile John Graziano continues to serve his life sentence confined to a bed significantly smaller than Nick Bollea's jail cell.

Well, you will all be sooooo happy to hear that Nicky has whined his way out of solitary confinement and is now sharing living space with three other juvenile offenders. Meanwhile, the other adult prisoners can't wait for "prom night at the pen" so that they can tell him up close and personal that little Nicky "shore got a purdy little mouth"

Poor Brooke...and I mean this sincerely...

Her twit rating is pretty low (well, compared to the rest of her family) She is surrounded by sycophantic morons, whoever dresses her is legally blind, and her family has become the poster family for Trailer Trash. I mean come on, a lot of little girls want to grow to be just like mom... and look at momma as a sort of blue print/role model...but in this case...shudder....when mom looks like a tranny mess (and not even in a "Fierce hot tranny mess" way) you are pretty much f***d up

Put Brooke in some damn clothes that fit and not from the "Whore of the Month" line from the "House of Ill Repute", and encourage... and I mean REALLY, REALLY encourage her to get an education because I just don't see a future for her on the stage and/or screen..and maybe, just maybe she will be OK... but Hulk, Linda and Nick are just:


  1. Absolute favorite line:

    "And then we would hear a symphony of angelic high five claps (or fist hand bumps between the hipper Seraphim)..."

  2. LOL, thanks. I must admit that I was inspired by the Obama's fist hand bumps... what is old is now new again ;) Thanks for stopping by!

  3. The Hogan family are pretty much self destructing these days. All the diddling around with youngin's is pretty disgusting IMO.

    PS- The 'fist bumps' are officially called 'pounds'. ;-)