Cruise? You're Kidding... Not much of a Disguise

Today's Gossip News

Tom news:

He's From That Planet

Considering all the speculation that surrounded the casting of the upcoming “Star Trek” movie, it wouldn’t seem like a stretch to think that Tom Cruise might be one more late addition to the roster.

“Tom visited the set of the movie and chatted with J.J. Abrams,” a source close to the actor said. The last time Cruise was spotted on a set for a movie he wasn’t said to be signed on for — “Tropic Thunder” — it turned out he had a small role. Unfortunately for Cruise fans, the visit to the “Star Trek” set was just a social call — Cruise and Abrams are friends, and apparently, Cruise is a fan of the television series and in particular, Mr. Spock.

Elle: Hey, Jay! Zed called. The high consulate from Solaxiant 9 wants floor seats for the next Bulls game.
Jay: All right, let's put in a call to Dennis Rodman. He's from that planet.
Elle: Rodman? You're kidding.
Jay: Nope.
Elle: Not much of a disguise.

The Village People vs. Tom Cruise...In the Navy?

This clip is poking fun at the secret video that was leaked this month of the bizarre ship-side birthday bash the Scientokooks threw for Tiny Tom in 2004.

Secret Video: The Scientologists Celebrate The Birthday Of The Prophet, Tom Cruise

Andrew Morton wrote in his best-selling biography of Tom Cruise that the Hollywood star was prominent in the hierarchy of the Church of Scientology. Of all of the author's claims, that was the one that most enraged the sect: "Insinuations that Mr. Cruise is second-in-command of the Church are not only false, they are ludicrous," the Scientologists maintained. "He is neither 2nd or 100th. Mr. Cruise is a Scientology parishioner and holds no official or unofficial position in the Church hierarchy. Claims to the contrary are offensive to both Mr. Cruise and the Church." But if Cruise was merely a humble parishioner, why in Xenu's name did the sect spend six figures to celebrate his birthday in 2004? In a video obtained by Gawker, watch Scientology chief David Miscavige lead the sect's most famous follower into an extravagant celebration of the Hollywood star on Scientology cruise ship, Freewinds. Cruise's entrance is, of course, to the theme music from Top Gun, one of the movies for which the actor is best known, or was, until he took up his new role as evangelist for the bizarre Church. After the movie clips are played, and the bands perform, Cruise exclaims: "This is incredible... It's the best birthday ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, and I mean ever!"

And you knew it was just a matter of time before the big screen got caught up with all the fun on YouTube:

Tom Cruise Spoofed In Superhero Movie

Producers of the film Superhero Movie, out today, released clips from the film on the Internet parodying a Church of Scientology promotional video featuring Scientologist Tom Cruise.

Superhero Movie is written and directed by Scott Mazin, director of the 2000 comedy about superheroes The Specials. The film stars Drake Bell, Sara Paxton, Christopher McDonald, Pamela Anderson, Tracy Morgan, Regina Hall, Craig Bierko, Simon Rex, Leslie Nielsen, Marion Ross, Kevin Hart, Jeffrey Tambor, Ryan Hansen, Brent Spiner and Keith David.

Drake Bell plays Rick Riker, a young man figuring out how to use his superpowers. The film parodies blockbuster superhero movies including Spider-Man, Batman, X-Men, and Fantastic Four.

In the original Scientology video, Cruise discusses his faith and his opinion on what it means to be a Scientologist, while the theme music from his Mission: Impossible series of films plays in the background. The video, which was not intended for public distribution outside of the Church of Scientology, is nine minutes long and contains heavy use of Scientology terminology. The video appeared on YouTube January 15, two days before the release of a biography on Cruise by Andrew Morton: Tom Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography.

The Church of Scientology sent legal letters to YouTube and to, sites which were hosting the Cruise video at the time, and requested that they take it down. YouTube complied, but did not, and Nick Denton of commented: "It's newsworthy, and we will not be removing it." The video later appeared on websites other than, including the New York Post, Independent Television News and the BBC

Attempts by the Church of Scientology to remove the video from the Internet motivated an Internet-based group known as "Anonymous" to take action in a movement called Project Chanology. Members of Anonymous bombarded Scientology websites and were successful in taking some of them down, including Anonymous later changed tactics towards legal measures, and held international protests against Scientology on February 10 and March 15, with another international protest planned for April 12.

According to Scientology critic David S. Touretzky, the Scientology terms used in the video by Cruise have "entered the national lexicon", and the Scientology video itself has become something of an Internet phenomenon. Touretzky also referred to the negative effect on Cruise's publicity as a consequence of the leak.

In the excerpt released online from Superhero Movie, actor Miles Fisher imitates Cruise in what Liz Shannon Miller of NewTeeVee described as "an eerily dead-on impersonation of Cruise’s infamous leaked Scientology indoctrination video". She also compared the clip to a different spoof of the Cruise video, by actor Jerry O'Connell. Craig Ferguson also spoofed the video in a clip on his show on CBS, The Late Late Show, as did the comedy website Super Deluxe.

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  1. LOL Deb, I wish I could love Tiny Tom but every time I look at the twerp I keep hearing the theme from the Twilight Zone.