Candy is Dandy, but Liquor is Quicker....Oh The Pain--redux




The Aging Disco Diva is heartbroken. I can't even bring myself to talk about Friday night's Kansas State men's basketball game...so I won't (It's my blog and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to....") In fact I ain't even going to supply a link....if you are that darn interested in my pain, then f'n Google it yourself. Sigh...I am drinking the Irish Creme right out of the bottle, why waste time pouring it into a glass?





Gossip News



Evidently K-Fed is in negotiations to appear in a Broadway play...he wants to share his...um... talent with the masses on the Great White Way.



Umm....OK..... Umm.....gotta be better than his rap album....right??

Usmagazine.com is saying Britney Spears's ex-husband, Kevin Federline, may make his Broadway debut in the musical Legally Blonde. A source tells Us that Federline may play a trio of roles, including a UPS delivery guy "This is his chance to show the world what he can do," the source said.





That got me to thinking...how can I pass on my oh so damned fabulous talents to the world? Since academia already pays for my Godiva Chocolate and champagne expenses it just makes sense to remain in the education world...perhaps a Harvard or Yale professorship might suit the Diva.




I began compiling a list of those college courses I was highly qualified to teach :


"Personal Minion Management 101" (MBA Prerequisite course)









"Getting the Most Out of Your Flying Monkeys" (College of Education -- Administrators Certificate Prerequisite)









"Snarkiness as a Valid Art Form" (Mass Communications Degree Prerequisite)









"Feminism, Hotpants and Platform Shoes: An Interesting Dichotomy" (Woman's Studies)







"Bay City Roller Fashion: A Sign of the Coming Apocalypse?" (Department of Political Science---Graduate Credit Only)












But let's face it, the Diva has always had visions of grandeur (humbly starting with becoming Queen of the Whole F'n Universe) I can't see myself limited to controlling a single university....thankfully I think I have found a whole friggin' country that desperately needs my domination...I mean, guidance and intense instruction:




Yes, this is real.....gives a whole new meaning to "Reality TV" Damn, those wacky and rhythmically challenged Fins NEED my fabulousness to save them and to guide the way for the next Finnish dance craze: The Moon Walk.











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