Today's Gossip mini-bite

Today's gossip mini-bite: of those acronyms you see floating about the internet and in email... TMFI...Too Much F'n Information....ever ponder exactly what that means? Ponder no more, here is a perfect example:

Gary Coleman, aged 40, the former "Different Strokes" child star, secretly married Shannon Price, aged 22 last August. In an interview with The Insider, Coleman admits that he was a virgin before meeting Miss Price, and even after more than a year together, he remains a virgin.

“It’ll happen when it will happen. And it will happen for all the right reasons.”

OK.... totally "Too Much F'n Information" Who in the hell would even WANT to ask Gary if he was doing the horizontal mambo with his bride? And of greater import...who in the hell would want to know the answer??

Usually marriage is the right reason to have sex (or in the case of Paris Hilton....being able to remember to breath without a cue card is evidently the right reason to have sex) but different strokes for different folks (couldn't resist...yes, I know....really trite and overused when talking about Gary Coleman---I will punish myself by going to my room with a couple of boxes of Godiva and some champagne)

What is of greater interest to the Aging Disco Diva is that this whole thing has my B.S.dar going off. Something ain't adding up..... it almost smells like someone is trying to sell us a big pile of something.....

Ms. Price claims that she never heard of Gary Coleman before meeting him (WhatchotalkingboutWillis?)

"She didn't know who I was." Coleman said in an interview "I didn't think I'd ever meet a human being who didn't know who I was!" he added.

That begs the question...was she raised by a bunch of babbling baboons in one of the two or three remote corners of the planet that does not show reruns of "Different Strokes".....or is she just....lying? They met on a movie set, so she was in the "biz" or a "wannabe in the biz." The Aging Disco Diva's trusty meter says:

The height difference is not a factor in their relationship she claims because:

"He was ten feet tall to me, Price told Inside Edition, "because he was sweet and I really like his personality."

But then she says that he has some serious anger issues and she has called the police.

"[Gary] lets his anger conquer him sometimes. He throws things around, and sometimes he throws it in my direction." Price added that when Coleman gets upset, "I don't like the violence." Responding as to why he threw a printer across a room, Coleman coolly responds, “I threw [it] because my agent wanted to send me a fax, and it wouldn’t fax, and she (Price) was upset at me over something that I had done. And I just took that printer and said, ‘You know what, you just need to die.’”

Ok...but he is really sweet and you really like his personality right?

The meter says:

Coleman and Price kept their marriage under wraps for more than five months, they both said, because they didn't want his fame to overwhelm hers...

Sweethearts, here is a ten dollar bill so that both of you can go buy a clue----my cat's fame would overwhelm hers. WTF is she? Seriously... try and Google her name without adding "Gary Coleman" and see what you get...nothing...

Shannon didn’t want to be known as Gary Coleman’s wife because she prefers to be known for her ability to hawk his crap on eBay. She was the "mastermind" behind the the auction of Coleman's sweatpants, which sold for $500 to late-night host Jimmy Kimmel last month after a headline-worthy bid of $400,000 fell through. She is currently showcasing her amazing talents by offering a "3000% authentic," autographed Coleman photograph (Starting bid: $25.)

In a taped interview Gary says:

“I wouldn’t want you (talking to Shannon) to be known as Gary Coleman’s wife. I hope you do get successful. (Turns to the interviewer) She’s a great e-Bayer. She’s a fabulous e-Bayer. I hope she gets famous for that.”

Well, sheyat...of course everyone knows that being known as an E-bay goddess is what we all aspire to be when we grow up. Hell, the "Famous e-Bayers" trading card set just put out by Topps is flying off the shelves, and when People magazine releases their annual "Top 100 Famous e-Bayers" I rush to the store to buy the issue...and in veritably get crushed when I fail to make the list... needless to say the meter says:

Of marriage, Coleman says, "It's not a picnic, dude." uh huh

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  1. *golf clap*

    That was brilliant! I am glad you came to drop your card at my site. I really needed some BS metering in my day.

  2. As always, you just made my day!