Are we there yet?

I feel like I am eight years old again and in the back seat of the family car waiting, waiting to get to our destination. Are we there yet? Except that I am an old Disco Diva, sitting in my office, waiting, waiting for tonight's basketball game. Is it time yet? Someone on the GoPowerCat.com board, hoping to refocus our A.D.D. fans' attention back to the important game tonight and away from some bull sheeyat about a football recruit's complaints asked about KU jokes. I have a million of 'em (one can never have enough KU jokes) so to pass the time I decided to post some of them here.

WARNING: if you are an easily offended PC warrior you shouldn't even be reading my blog in the first place...but if you are still here....the following WILL offend you so...go away.

Coach Mangino recently got lost in the KC area on a recruiting trip. So he stopped at a gas station and asked a young man the quickest way to get to 435. The young man replied "start eating salad".

A man walks into a store and says, "I would like a blue hat, red pants, blue sweater, and white shoes." The clerk says, "Are you a KU fan?" "Yes," replies the beaker, "How did you guess - by the color combination?" "No," answers the clerk, "this is a hardware store."

How does KU count to ten ..... 0-1 0-2 0-3 0-4 0-5 0-6 0-7 0-8 0-9 0-10

A Jayhawker was walking in the woods when he came upon a river. As fortune would have it, there was a fellow on the other bank wearing a KU hat. The first Jayhawker yelled out "Hey there, can you tell me how you get to the other side of this river?" The gent in the KU hat replies, "You dumbass, you're already on the other side of the river!"

Q: How do you keep a Jayhawk out of your yard?
A: Put up a goal post!

Q: Did you hear about the big power outage at the KU student union?
A: Forty Jayhawks were stuck on the escalator for 3 hours.

Q: What are the best 4 years of a KU student's life?
A: The 3rd Grade.

Q: What do you get if you breed a groundhog with a KU football player?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.

Q: What do you get if you drive by the KU campus real slow?
A: A degree.

Q: Did you hear they've decided to cover the Allen Field House court in cardboard next season?
A: People at KU have decided that their team always looks better on paper.

Q: How do you get a KU graduate off your porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: Why do KU students hang their diplomas from their rear view mirrors?
A: So they can park in the handicapped spot.

Q: Why doesn't KU have ice on the sidelines?
A: The guy with the recipe graduated.

Q: How many KU freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore class.

Q: What do you call a person from KU in a three piece suit?
A: The defendant.

Q: What's the difference between a litter of puppies and KU fans?
A: Eventually puppies grow up and stop whining.

Q: What does the average KU player get on his SAT's?
A: Drool.

Q: Why do jayhawk fans whistle on the toilet??
A: So they know which end to wipe

Q: Why shouldn't you allow jayhawk fans a coffee break at work ??
A: Because it takes too long to retrain them.

Q: Why did the jayhawk fan get fired from the M & M factory ??
A: He kept throwing out the W's.

Q: What's the difference between a KU fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q: What do you call a KU football player with a championship ring?
A: A thief!

Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Lawrence?
A: Manhattan: 187 Miles

Q: How do you know if a KU football player has a girlfriend?
A: There is tobacco spit juice on both sides of the pickup

Coach Mangino is only dressing 10 players for the Jayhawks game against K-State. The rest of the team will get dressed by themselves.

KU has decided to change it's football mascot to the opossum since they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: What happens when a KU grad takes Viagra?
A: He gets taller.

Q: Why don't KU grads use 911 in an emergency?
A: Because they can't find "eleven" on the phone dial.

Q: Why was KU late for so many games last year?
A: Every time they passed a sign that said "Clean Restrooms", they did.

Q: Why did they have to cancel the Christmas play at KU last year?
A: They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

Q: What is the difference between a KU cheerleader and a catfish?
A: One has whiskers and smells, the other is a fish.

Q: What do KU cheerleaders and tornadoes have in common?
A: Both end up in trailer parks.

Q: What's the difference between a KU bar and a circus?
A: The clowns don't talk at the circus.

Q: How do you keep a KU girl from biting her nails?
A: Make her wear shoes.

Q: Did you hear about the KU athlete that won a Gold Medal in the Olympics?
A: He was so happy, he had it bronzed.

Q: What's the most useless thing in a KU fan's house?
A: The KU fan.

Q: How do you run a small business?
A: Start with a large business and put a KU grad in charge.

Q: How do you break a KU grad's finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.

Q: Why don't they teach drivers ed and sex ed on the same day in Kansas?
A: They don't want to wear out the mule.

Q: How many KU students does it take to eat a rabbit?
A: Three. One to eat and the other two to watch for cars.

Q: What's the difference between a KU cheerleader and a heifer?
A: About 30 pounds.

Q: What does it say on the bottom of Coke bottles in Lawrence?
A: Open other end.

Q: What do you call a KU fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: How do the brain cells of a KU fan die?
A: Alone.

Q: Why do people take an instant dislike to the Jayhawks??
A: It saves time.

Q: Why do jayhawk men like smart women ??
A: Opposites attract

Q: What do you call a jayhawk fan in a 3 bedroom apartment??
A: A burglar.

Q: What do you say to a jayhawk fan with a job ??
A: "Can I have a Big Mac?"

Q: Did you hear about the Republican Senator who was found dead in a jayhawk uniform?
A: The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his family from the embarrassment.


The Student

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Kansas Jayhawk. She asks her students to raise their hands if they're Jayhawks too. Not really knowing what a Jayhawk is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Jayhawk." "Then," asks the teacher, "What are you?" "Why I'm a Kansas State Wildcat," boasts the little girl. The teacher is perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a rebel. "Well, my mom and dad are Wildcats, so I'm a Wildcat too." The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?" A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be a Jayhawk."

Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the woman answers, "241." "That is wonderful!," says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the Mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to discuss." Next Albert introduces himself to a man and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the gentleman answers, "144." "That's great!," responds Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!" Albert goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "51." Albert responds, "How 'bout them Jayhawks?"

The Drive

There's a Wildcat from Manhattan driving to Lawrence, and a guy from KU driving from Lawrence to Manhattan. In the middle of the night, with no other cars on the road, they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions. The Wildcat manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I am really lucky to be alive!" Likewise the Jayhawk scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!" The Jayhawk walks over to the Wildcat and says, "Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of arch rivals." The Wildcat thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I'm gonna see what else survived this wreck." So the Wildcat pops open his trunk and finds a full unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Jayhawk, "I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship." The Jayhawk says, "You're right!" and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly half the bottle the Jayhawk hands it back to the Wildcat and says, "Your turn!". The Tiger twists the cap back on the bottle and says, "Nahh, I think I'll wait for the cops to show up."

The Flight

A K-State alum gets on a turboprop headed for Wichita. As he sits down he introduces himself to the guy across the aisle from him and learns he is a Kansas alum. He kicks off his shoes and announces he's getting a coke and offers to get one for the Kansas alum and the KU fan accepts. When he leaves to get the coke, the KU alum leans over and spits in his left shoe. When he returns, he discovers a second KU alum has joined the first and repeats his offer. When the second accepts and the KSU alum goes to get him a coke, the second KU alum leans over and spits in his right shoe. Upon landing, the K-State alum slips his feet back into his shoes. He immediately realizes what has happened as the two Kansas alums are laughing out loud. The K-State alum sighs and says, "when are we going to get over this insane hatred of each other? The spitting in shoes... the pissing in cokes..."

Dear Abby

Dear Abby,

I am a sailor in the United States Coast Guard. My parents live in a suburb of Houston and one of my sisters, who lives in Beaumont, is married to a transvestite. My Father and Mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Matamoras. I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica, for the rape & murder of a teenage boy in 1994, the other currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of incest with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Brownsville and indeed is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel, however, her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with an STD. We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel, with my fiancee utilizing her knowledge of the industry working as the manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, at least it would get them off the streets and, hopefully, the heroin. My problem is this: I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family, and of course I want to be totally honest with her. My question is - Should I tell her about my cousin who graduated from KU?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation

The Mountain

An NU, OU, KU and K-State fan were climbing a mountain one day. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans of their football team. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally they reached the top. The NU fan shouted, "This is for the Huskers!" and hurled himself off the mountain, shouting as he fell to his doom. Not wanting to be out done, the OU fan threw himself off the mountain, proclaiming "Boomer Sooners!" Seeing this, the K-State fan walked over and exclaimed, "This is for everyone!"... and pushed the KU fan off the of the mountain.

Claudia Schiffer

A Wildcat fan, and Jayhawk fan and Claudia Schiffer were riding in a train in the same compartment. As the train entered a tunnel, all became dark. There was a loud kissing sound followed by a *SMACK*!!! As they came out of the tunnel, the Wildcat and Claudia sat next to each other looking across to the Jayhawk holding his cheek. The Jayhawk thought...that darn Wildcat kissed Claudia and she must have thought I did it and slapped me. Claudia thought, the Jayhawk must have tried to kiss me, and missed and kissed the Wildcat instead and got smacked. Meanwhile the Wildcat was thinking, this is great, the next time we go through a tunnel, I'm going to make a kissing sound again and smack that Jayhawk!

What does your dad do?

It's the first day of school and the teacher thought she'd get to know the kids by asking them their name and what their father does for a living. The first little girl says: "My name is Mary and my daddy is a postman." The next little boy says: "I'm Andy and my Dad is a mechanic." Then one little boy says: "My name is Jimmy and my father is a striptease dancer in a cabaret for gay men." The teacher gasps and quickly changes the subject, but later in the school yard the teacher approaches Jimmy privately and asks if it was really true that his Dad dances nude in a gay bar. He blushed and said, "I'm sorry but my dad coaches football for the Kansas Jayhawks and I was just too embarrassed to say so."

The New Bike
A KU student is walking on campus one day when another KU student rides up on a shiny new bicycle. "Where did you get such a rockin' bike?" asked the first. The second KU student replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said 'Take what you want.'"

The first KU student nodded approvingly. "Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Animal Tracks

Three Jayhawks were walking through the woods and came upon some tracks. The first one bent down to look at the tracks and said, "I think they are Gopher tracks." The second one bent down and said, "I think they're Wolverine tracks." The third one bent down and got hit by a train.

The Gifted One

One day Johnny came home very excited. "Mommy, Mommy, guess what! Today in English I got all the way to the end of the alphabet, and everyone else got messed up at around 'P'!" His mother said, "Very good, dear. That's because we're a KU family."

The next day, Johnny was even more excited. "Mommy, Mommy, guess what! Today in math I counted all the way to ten, but everyone else messed up around seven!"

"Very good dear," mother replied. "That's because we're a KU family."

On the third day, Johnny was beside himself. "Mommy, Mommy, today we measured ourselves and I'm the tallest one in my class! Is that because we are a KU family?"

"No dear," she said, "it's because you're 26 years old."

The Custody Case

There was a couple who were getting divorced, so the judge said to the child, "Who do you want to live with? Do you want to live with your Dad?

"No," said the child, "he beats me."

"Do you want to live with your Mom?"

"No, she beats me too."

"Well who do you want to live with?"

"I want to live with a KU fan."

Confused the judge asked, "Why?"

The child replies, "because they never beat anybody!"

The Desert

A Wildcat, a Sooner, and a Jayhawk went walking in the desert. The Sooner brought a bucket of water, the others asked, "Why did you bring a bucket of water?"

The Sooner replied, "If I get hot I can dump the water on myself."

The Wildcat also brought a container of water, and the others asked, "Why did you bring water?" He answered, "If I get hot I can drink it."

The Jayhawk had a car door with him. The others asked, "Why did you bring that?" He said, "If I get hot I can roll down the window!"

Digging a Ditch

There were two KU grads digging a ditch. One says to the other, "How is it that we are in here but that KSU grad is not doing a thing up there?"

The other answers, "Well, gee... I don't know. Why don't I go ask him."

So the first KU grad goes up to the supervising KSU grad and says, "How come you get to stay up here but we have to work our tails off down there?" The KSU grad puts his hand up to a tree and says, "You see my hand? Hit it as hard as you can!"

The KU grad pulls back and swings very hard. Before he hit it, the KSU grad moved his hand. Cringing in pain, the KU grad went back to the ditch. When he arrives the other KU grad asks, "Well... what did he say?"

The first one puts his hand to his face and says, "See my hand? Hit it as hard as you can."

The Joke

A K-State fan in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a joke about Jayhawk fans?" The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke you should know something. I'm 6' tall and 220 pounds and played for KU. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2" tall, 240 pounds and he's a Jayhawk fan, and the guy sitting next to him is 6'5", 280 pounds and he's a KU fan too. And the guy in the corner is Bill Self. Now, do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The Wildcat fan says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it four times".

Green Side Up!

A K-State building contractor, discussing paint schemes with a couple, asked which color they had picked for their kitchen. The lady responded with vanilla white. "No problem" the K-State grad replied as he opened the window and screamed out "GREEN SIDE UP". The couple didn't think much of it and proceeded into the living room. The K-State grad then asked which color they had decided on for the living room and they replied with hazalnut beige. At that point the K-State grad opened the window and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP". The couple, worried at this point but not saying anything, followed the contractor into the master bedroom. The contractor asked the couple what color they wanted the bedroom painted and they indicated pure white was their favorite. Once again the contractor opened the window and blasted "GREEN SIDE UP". That's when the lady spoke, "Sir, we've been in three rooms, each a different color, but you scream "green side up" after we tell you a color for the room, what's up? "I'm sorry," the contractor said, "I should have told you before we started, I've got a couple of KU grads laying sod outside."

The Nails

Two Jayhawks are siding a house, the one watches in confusion as the 2nd jayhawk looks at each nail. Some he tosses over his shoulder, the others he hammers in. Finally, the first Jayhawk can't resist, and he has to ask... "Why do you throw some nails away, and use the others?" "Simple" says the 2nd Jayhawk... the nails that point toward the house I can use, the others are worthless. "'Dummy" says the first Jayhawk, "the nails that point away from the house are for the other side."

The Football Tickets

The morning of the KSU vs KU football game, a KU fan remembered that he had left his tickets on the dashboard of his car. He ran down to his car to check on the tickets, and found that the windshield had been smashed.

"Someone broke in and took our tickets?" his wife asked, when he reported the damage.

"Worse than that," the man replied. "Someone left four more..."

Some Chickens

Two KU Grads are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy, what'cha got in th' bag?"

"Jus' some chickens."

"If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?"

"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."

"OK. Ummmmm . . . five?"

The Dog

A couple guys are sitting on the couch watching college football games and the K-state-KU game's final score is announced. The one guy's little terrier, who has been laying on the floor, starts doing back flips and then gets up on it's hind legs and howls out the Wabash Cannonball in perfect tune. Then it does more backflips. The other guy says "that's the craziest thing I've ever seen." The dog's owner says, "Yea, he does that every time K-state beats KU in football!" "What does he do when KU wins?" asks his friend. Replies the owner, "Don't know. The dog's only 7 years old!"

The KSU Fan and The Priest

A K-State fan used to amuse himself by scaring every KU fan he would see strutting down the side of the road in their obnoxious crimson and blue colors. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, and then he would swerve back on the road just before hitting them. One day, as the van driver was driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the van over. He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" "I'm going to give Mass at St. Joseph's Church, about five miles down the road," replied the priest. "No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in!" The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and the van continued down the road. Suddenly, the driver saw a Jayhawk fan strutting down the road, and instinctively, he swerved as if to hit him. But as usual, just in time, he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the guy. Even though he was certain he missed the guy, he still heard a loud "THUD." Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors, but he didn't see anything. He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit that KU fan."

"That's OK" replied the priest. "I got him with the door."



The Sculpture

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs. "Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it."

"You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the rat."

The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt. No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is behind him. Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown. Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop.

"Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story," says the owner.

"No," says the tourist, "I was wondering if you have a bronze Jayhawk."


The Zoo

A lion in the Kansas City Swope Park Zoo was lying in the sun licking its butt when a visitor turned to the keeper and said, "That's a docile Old thing, isn't it?"

"No way," said the keeper, "it's the most ferocious beast in the zoo. Why, just an hour ago it dragged a Kansas Jayhawk fan into the cage and completely devoured him."

"That hardly seems possible," said the astonished visitor, "but why is it lying there licking its butt?

"The poor thing is trying to get the taste out of its mouth."


The Conference

1200 persons attended the recent Worldwide Psychic Society conference.

Moderator: "How many attendees believe in ghosts?" (Over 80% of the hands
were raised)

Moderator: "How many have actually seen a ghost?" (58% of the hands were
raised)

Moderator: "How many believe that a ghost can be solid?" (23% of the hands
were raised)

Moderator: "How many have ever physically touched a ghost?" (3% of the hands
were raised)

Moderator: "How many have ever had sex with a ghost?" (After some pause one
lonely hand at the back of the hall went up)

Moderator: "May I ask where you are from, sir?"

Attendee: "I am from the University of Kansas"

Moderator: "And you say you've had sex with a ghost?"

Attendee: "Oh, I thought you said "goat."


Balance

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel found Him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been? God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?", inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of earth, "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice," The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a city and said, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's Manhattan, Kansas, the most glorious place on earth. It is beautiful. The people from Manhattan are going to be modest, intelligent, and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace," Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "what about balance, God? You said...", God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I'm putting in Lawrence."


Shot Down

A K-State grad and a KU grad are flying behind enemy lines when their plane gets shot down. They are captured by the enemy and are granted one last wish before their execution. The KU grad says, "I would like to hear Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk, one last time." The K-State grad says "Shoot me first!!!"

The Test

A K-State & KU graduate both applied for an engineering job. Both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the department manager. After completion of the test, both men missed only one question. The manager went up to the Jayhawk and said, "Thanks for your interest, but we've decided to give the K-State grad the job." The KU grad said, "Why you gonna do that sir, we both got 9 questions right?" The manager said, "We made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the one you missed." The KU grad asked, "How you gonna tell if one incorrect answer is more important than another?" Manager replied "Simple. On question #5, the K-State grad put down, 'I don't know', and you put down, 'Neither do I'.

The Genie

Three guys, a Wildcat, a Jayhawk, and a Longhorn were walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie. The Longhorn says, "I am studying to be a farmer, my dad was a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land in Texas to forever be fertile. With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land across Texas was made forever fertile. The Jayhawk was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Lawrence, so that no one can come into our precious city." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Lawrence. The Wildcat says, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out." The Wildcat said, "Fill it with water."

The Students

A group of students in a class at the University of Kansas are given the assignment of measuring the height of a flagpole. So they go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures, and they're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing was just a mess. A Kansas State University engineering student comes along, sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the students and walks away. After the K-State engineer had gone, one KU student turns to another and laughs. "Isn't that just like a dumb Wildcat? We're looking for the height and he gives us the length."