The Aging Disco Diva: nick hogan

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2008 Twit of the Year

It is great to see Hulk Hogan working so hard to get into competitive shape for the "Twit of the Year" competition. Twit pundits are in agreement that he is the prohibitive favorite to win the coveted award, particularly because the competition consists of his son Nick and soon to be ex-wife Linda.. and while they have obviously been working diligently to give the Hulkster a run for the title, I think unlike Big Brown, Hulk will not tank in the heat of the competition. The only question is whether or not he is using steroids to increase his twitiness,

Even though she is not in the running for the award we can't rule out Brooke juice twitting up too...

in fact the only one who appears to be working on his twit factor completely au natural and without twit enhancements is Nick.

Nick appears to just have been born that rare twit savant.

Well, without further ado, it is time for this year's entries:

Hulk "Terry Bollea" Hogan

God made John a vegetable to make him a better person....

Yup, the diva ain't making this sheyat up. The Hulk went on Larry King Live Tuesday night and using God as his copilot, claimed that Nick's drunk driving and speeding accident, the one that put John Graziano in a vegetative state, had a purpose: to make John a better person...well, everyone knows that being a semi-comatose invalid for the rest of your life is a real character builder.

Hogan broke down when discussing the difficulties his family has faced over the last several months. "Yeah, it's been hard," he said. "The main focus is my son, my children and John Graziano. This is in God's hands. Things happen for a reason. This is to make Nick a better person. This is, in my belief, this is to make John a better person. Like I said before, it’s God’s will, where we’re at.”

Hulk, might I suggest that you allow a neighborhood wino or crack fiend to smash your head with a sledge hammer, thereby giving you irreversible, severe brain damage? Then after you have spent a couple of decades in a rest home ker-rapping your pants and having to depend on the work ethic of a minimum wage high school drop out for your daily care, hit the t.v. talk show circuit and tell us how appreciative you are that God made you a better person by putting you through all of that.... and then I might, just might, buy into your "I am Holier than the saints in heaven" act.

Hogan then commented on the statement made by John Graziano's mother calling the Bollea's the biggest two-faced individuals she's ever seen. He said:

"You forgive them for they know not what they do," Hogan said.

When the diva heard this blasphemy she got so excited that she knocked the little pink umbrella right out of her drink. Would this result in the ultimate live TV moment? Would the studio suddenly be filled with a thunderously loud voice from above that boomed :"Oh, no you didn't just say that" and then....

And then we would hear a symphony of angelic high five claps (or fist hand bumps between the hipper Seraphim) emanating from the heavens.

Alas, nothing happened...which just cements my belief that it is God's will that Hulk be awarded the 2008 Twit of the Year.

I mean really, how can Linda, Brooke and Nicky compete with that level of twitiness? Well...not for a lack of effort......

Linda "Bollea" Hogan

Here is 48 year old Linda with her new boyfriend...the emphasis on the word BOY:

This is Linda's new boyfriend, 19-year-old Charlie Hill. Brooke says she knows Hill from high school.

"I went to school with him," admits Brooke. "He was a grade under me... Me and Nick know him well. Me and Nick are two years apart, and he was right between us" in school, says Brooke.

Brooke added, "totally freaked out. This is really weird. I personally don't like it at all or condone it."

I am sure she was as upset as when she found out her daddy was diddling Christiane Plante her a former friend. Hmmmm.... a sure nomination for the Twit Family of The Year award?

But wait, Linda is really making an all out effort to win Twit of the Year:

HULK HOGAN's estranged wife LINDA BOLLEA has launched a scathing attack on the mother of the victim left critically injured in a car crash caused by her son NICK BOLLEA.

In a telephone conversation taped by Florida's Pinellas County Jail, where Bollea is behind bars serving an eight-month sentence for the crash, Linda claims she is suffering more than the mother of 23-year-old John Graziano, who has been hospitalized with brain injuries following the 2007 car crash in Clearwater, Florida.

Sobbing uncontrollably, Linda is heard saying "I'm sad because I really appreciated you! She's not suffering, I am! I have the loss. I'm at the beach house all by myself, it's not the same!"

Boo friggin hoo. You are at the f'n beach house all by your f'n self, cry me a damn river...yeah, you are all alone...if you don't count the young meat you're cooking in your old oven. And I don't want to hear that crap about how men do it all the time and society accepts it. If you are a 48 man, and you are playing hide the salami with a girl that went to high school school with your kids-like just last year, then you are a pig. P-I-G, pig.

Nick "Bollea" Hogan

The New Nick?

Although the Bolleas are repeatedly warned their conversations are being recorded they continued to make complete boobs of themselves. On the tapes, young master Bollea, who is doing an eight-month stretch in the Pinellas County slammer after pleading no contest to a charge of reckless driving in a crash that caused massive brain damage to Marine and Iraq war veteran John Graziano, complains that his jail cell is smaller than his bathroom at the family mansion.

Finally, Nick Bollea takes a crybaby break to tell his father that for an anticipated court appearance he'll wear his jail jumpsuit, "For the sympathetic factor."

And then Nick tells his father to start working on a reality show about his coming out of jail, "Where I can make the most money."

"We can call it 'The New Nick,'" Hulk muses

Meanwhile John Graziano continues to serve his life sentence confined to a bed significantly smaller than Nick Bollea's jail cell.

Well, you will all be sooooo happy to hear that Nicky has whined his way out of solitary confinement and is now sharing living space with three other juvenile offenders. Meanwhile, the other adult prisoners can't wait for "prom night at the pen" so that they can tell him up close and personal that little Nicky "shore got a purdy little mouth"

Poor Brooke...and I mean this sincerely...

Her twit rating is pretty low (well, compared to the rest of her family) She is surrounded by sycophantic morons, whoever dresses her is legally blind, and her family has become the poster family for Trailer Trash. I mean come on, a lot of little girls want to grow to be just like mom... and look at momma as a sort of blue print/role model...but in this case...shudder....when mom looks like a tranny mess (and not even in a "Fierce hot tranny mess" way) you are pretty much f***d up

Put Brooke in some damn clothes that fit and not from the "Whore of the Month" line from the "House of Ill Repute", and encourage... and I mean REALLY, REALLY encourage her to get an education because I just don't see a future for her on the stage and/or screen..and maybe, just maybe she will be OK... but Hulk, Linda and Nick are just:

Yup, He's a Special Kind of Stupid.

The Diva will probably not be posting every single day during the summer, but I will be sharing my snarkitude as stories break ...or I run out of cold champagne and chocolate covered strawberries.

So here are my musings for today:

Nick Bollea is upset because a judge denied his request to be released from solitary confinement and to be allowed to mingle in the general population... but he is not as upset as the rest of the prisoners who had already decided in what order they would all be filling his dance card.

Nick must be a really special kind of stupid because anyone with half a brain would be sending thank you notes to whoever remanded him to solitary confinement. Hey Nick, those guys all covered with scars n' tattoos and looking at you hungrily don't want your f'n autograph you moron... or maybe you like to have big bad mean men pet your hair as they mutter "You sho' gotta' purdy little mouth...and butt"

Holy carp, what a nitwit.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer is he??

A judge on Tuesday denied Nick Bollea's request to change the conditions of his jail sentence because solitary confinement is causing him "unbearable anxiety."

Bollea is serving eight months in jail after pleading no contest to causing a crash that seriously injured his friend.

Officials said he is segregated from other inmates in the county jail in Clearwater because he is a minor, even though he was convicted in adult court.

You want to know what unbearable anxiety is you brainless twit? Unbearable anxiety is laying paralyzed and semi-comatose in a rest home the rest of your life like your buddy, John Graziano, you know.... the one you almost killed while drag racing drunk.... You want to know what unbearable anxiety is, you little whiny idiot? Dropping the soap in the prison shower and having a lifer getting up close and personal with your backside.

Hey Hulk, do us all a favor and buy your son a friggin' clue...better yet, buy a six pack of clues: a couple for you, one for each of your two brats and one for your soon to be ex-wife.

Gawd, I am really loathing this pack of vultures.

Get that lined up so I can make the most money dad...

The family of John Graziano, who was critically injured in a car accident with Nick Hogan, has lashed out at the Hogan family. Nick, whose real name is Nick Bollea, was sentenced to 8 months in prison and 3 years probation on felony reckless driving charges steaming from the accident.

The 17-year-old is currently serving his time in a Florida prison. A taped phone call between Bollea and his father, professional wrestler Hulk Hogan, has been released.

In the tape, Hogan is heard saying that Graziano, an Iraq war veteran, got himself into his current state. “Well I don’t know what type of person John was, or what he did to get himself in their situation. I know he was pretty aggressive and yelled at people and do stuff,” Hogan tells his son. “And for some reason God laid some heavy shit on that kid. I don’t know what he was into.”

“He was a negative person,” Bollea replies.

“He was what?” Hogan asks.

“He was a negative person. Will you work on the reality show deal?” Bollea asks.

“Yep,” Hogan said.

“Get that lined up so the minute I walk out, wherever I walk out of, it’s there, boom,” Bollea said adding that he wants to do it where “I’ll make the most money.”

The Graziano family released a statement saying, “These tapes clearly show what the Bolleas said in court was calculated to give the court the impression that Nick deserved a break.”

“If Terry Bollea (Hulk Hogan) cared about John Graziano, he wouldn’t be blaming his semi-conscious state and his life-long battle to survive as bad karma,” mother Debbie Graziano adds. “If Nick Bollea cared about John Graziano, he wouldn’t be describing him as a negative person. These people are the biggest phonies and two-faced individuals that I’ve ever seen.”

“How can these people think of making money as my son lays in bed, fighting for his life on a daily basis. The reason he was put in jail was to think about my son. That’s the last thought on his mind,” said father Ed Graziano.

Bollea’s lawyer says he will be checking into whether is was legal for the tapes to be released.

Me thinks the lawyer should be checking into whether or not it was legal for these two wretches to be allowed to breath the same air I do.

Technorati Tags: nick bollea, nick hogan, hulk hogan, john graziano, terry bollea

Trailer Trash Tales Today or Soap On A Rope Surprise!

It doesn't matter how much money they manage to stumble into or how hard they try...trailer trash will always manage to be trailer trash.

What do trailer trash dads wear to their son's court sentencing?

Well, at least he wore something with sleeves and a black doo-rag, rather than his usual muscle shirt and print bandana. If Hulk were black or Hispanic, do you think the judge would have tolerated him wearing this in their court??? Just pondering out loud.....

The Diva was pleased to see that Brooke went all out and wore something from the 2008 "Street Walker Collection" created by the "Oldest Profession" label to her brother's sentencing.

I am still searching for a better photo of the dress....if you have been watching the news coverage today you have no doubt caught sight of the black, shoulder-cut out ummmm... interesting fashion choice. A fashion hint--Brooke, honey---when you have shoulders like a linebacker you REALLY don't want to wear this type of design.

Anyway. Like all true trailer trash families, daddy Hogan supplied the booze to his underage, much speeding ticketed, spawn... and young Mr. Bollea ended up wrapping his expensive car around a pole and putting his buddy John Graziano into a coma. The accident came roughly two weeks after Nick had been cited for driving 82 miles per hour in a construction zone and was one of numerous speeding tickets, including two incidents where troopers stopped him on the interstate traveling at more than 100 miles per hour, on his driving record.

Nick initially facing a maximum sentence of 5 years behind bars but instead was sentenced to eight months in jail. The judge also suspended his drivers license for 3 years, put him on five years probation and he has to serve 500 hours of community service .... and the 17 year old MINOR cannot drink during his probation. In addition the judge decided to withhold adjudication. That means that after Nick has served his sentence he can apply to have the conviction removed from his record.

slap on the wrist

Today before being sentenced Nick Hogan said "Everyday I miss being with John, I feel terrible." But members of the Graziano family told the judge that Nick Bollea never showed any remorse after the crash that left John Graziano in a semi-conscious state.

John's father, Ed Graziano, said Bollea displayed senseless, reckless behavior when visiting John at Bayfront Medical Center in the days after the accident. He said Nick never wanted to be at the hospital and that it showed on his face, and when he did visit the hospital he would skateboard down the hallways and would shoot dart guns at the hospital.

"What Al-Quaeda couldn't do to my son, (Bollea) did," Ed Graziano said. John is likely to need lifelong care.